Tired of my life like this

[JessterNC 92]

Hello,

I just got home from my evaluation appointment today and am now waiting to hear back about my pre-op. It was the first time in a long time that I didn't feel like a freak after leaving the doctors office. I am scared and nervous, but I know this is something I must do.

My journey down this road started in 1995. That is when I got my first hernia. It was small and appeared 6 months after I had my gall bladder removed. I didn't even know what it was but it hurt very badly and when I went to the ER they rushed me in to operate on it. I thought that was the end of it, little did I know it was only the beginning. 6 months later I had to have another emergency surgery to repair a hernia, 18 months later, another and 2 years after that I had my 4th hernia repair surgery when they removed my belly button!. I was able to make it almost 3 years before my 5th operation. Then 2 months after that I fell and broke my foot which put me in a wheel chair for 6 months and at that point, my minor dealings with my weight became a major problem as I went from 185 pounds to 270.

So I knew at that point I was going to have some major problems, my doctor said my belly looked like Swiss cheese and that any mesh they put in was just going to tear another hole. I just started to live with it and accept that I would have hernias. In the meantime I moved to NC and met another doctor who said he could fix me. So 2 operations later (7 hernia in total) I had 3 large hernias, weighed 290 pounds and had given upon getting them fixed or every being able to lose this extra weight. I accepted that I was beyond fixing and would just learn to live with this.

In December 2013 I had another major issue to deal with as I was admitted for emergency surgery to deal with a blocked intestine. I was in a week, home a week and readmitted for complications. I actually traveled out of the country in February and thought once again this was behind me. But on June 21 2014, I was once again rushed to the hospital and admitted for emergency surgery for a small bowel obstruction. I got home the day before my 50th birthday, was home a week, and readmitted with a severe infection and major complications. After a 2 and a half week stay I was allowed to go home. My 3rd time dealing with this, in February 2014, was enough, my 3rd bowel obstruction surgery in 14 months. The doctor who had done these last 3 operations told me that my abdomen was "complicated" and beyond the ability of my local hospital to deal with so he referred me to UNC to be checked by a hernia specialist there.

My wife and I had talked about me getting some type of operation to help with my weight, but after 11 operations on my belly in 20 years I figured no one would even consider the idea. But the doctor who saw me told me that I needed to lose at least 50 pounds before he could attempt to fix my hernias and suggested I get the sleeve surgery. Then I started researching, and praying and talking to my wife and my daughter and my parents, wanting to make the decision that would end this cycle and give me my life back.

I am tired, I am tired of the endless cycle of hospital stays, I am tired of feeling this way, I am tired of seeing the stress I am putting my family under, I am tired of being scared, I am tired of looking this way.

I want my life to be good again, I know that there is a chance that even if I lose the weight the hernia doctor will tell me there is nothing he can do. But I will have a better chance of getting my weight under control and at least be able to wear binders that fit to hold my hernias in.

So now I wait, they told me it will take about 1-2 weeks for my insurance to approve everything and they will get me back in to meet the surgeon and complete my pre-op and I should have the operation about a week after that. For the first time in about 10 years I feel like I am in control again, I feel like this is going to work, I feel positive that this will give me control of my life again.

I am ready, but I am scared. I guess some people would think that I have had enough operations that they should be 2nd nature to me and I guess that is part of the reason I am scared, I have had a total of 15 operations in the last 22 years. I know how hard they are and I know how bad it can get. But even knowing that, I know this is something I have to do.

So I start on this journey with my family, it is not only a change for me, but for them as well. I am blessed to have a very supportive family who is going to be with me every step of the way.

But I appreciate your support as well, the best advice is from people who have been down the path I am embarking on and I thank you in advance for any advice and feedback I get.

Sorry for such a long post, but this is the first time I have talked about all of this in quite a while.

Thanks

[Jessicacherry3 71]

Whether your WLS helps your hernias or just your overall health and the way you fee like bout yourself, you benefit either way. I hope it goes well for you and you have a smooth recovery. I am having my surgery on July 7 so we will probably be going through it at the same time. Prayers for a speedy recovery

[kempermorris 144]

Good Luck to you. I'm 6 months post op &-have lost 112-lbs. It's time to change your life

[wascott 395]

Thanks for sharing. I'm having my surgery on Monday. I've learned a lot of good information from the many great folks on this site. Good luck on your journey.

[JessterNC 92]

My wife and I decided to go out to dinner on Saturday evening since our anniversary was Sunday as well as knowing it was Father's Day, we thought it would be easier to find a pace to eat. Even though I am not on a pre-op diet or anything, I have had to watch what I eat because of the problems with the bowel obstructions. But since this was a special day and I have not had any problems in the last couple of months I threw caution to the wind. We had a wonderful dinner, we laughed and talked and never once discussed everything that had been going on.

But 2 hours after we go home I was in unbearable pain and back on my way to the ER. For the 2nd year in a row I was admitted to the hospital for a bowel obstruction on my anniversary. At least this time it was just a partial and I didn't have to have surgery and I was released yesterday after everything was decompressed. But I learned first hand what I have to do with the diet. For me it was good to learn this before hand, I have been told I can be stubborn and I hated being in the hospital again, but I guess it was better now than it happening post-op.

I also saw something I never want to see again, the look in my wife's eyes as I laid there in the ER as they worked on me. I don't ever want to see that again. I agree and understand that we cant do these things for someone else, that I have to do it for myself, but the look on her face, the sound of my Mom and Dad as I had to tell them I was in the hospital again, that is something I don't ever want to experience again.

I am home now, very tired and weak, but at least I am home. I slept 14 hours after I got home yesterday. I am ready for them to call me to get this process moving forward, I don't want to go through this ever again.

[MIMISAN 404]

I certainly feel for you. I like to complain about how I feel but after reading your story I feel guilty! I am in great help compared to your issues. I will pray that insurance helps you on the road to recovery.

[Pkdvm 175]

Just wanted to say that I wish you the best of luck. I was really moved by your story and hope that you have great success.

[LadyK44 263]

Hello just to say welcome and I wish you the best of luck on this journey!

[gigito2 52]

Please add me to the list of people wishing you well and sending good thoughts your way.

[kempermorris 144]

Good Luck to you

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Sounds like you're good and ready (finally) to change your life.

Best wishes to you.

[Babbs 14,681]

Keep us posted and I wish you nothing but the best!

[JessterNC 92]

Thanks for all of the encouragement, I think I am going to really need it. I am SO frustrated right now. I have been trying to get in touch with the clinic with some questions and even though no one seems to contact me back, I was telling myself to wait that as soon as the insurance approval came through I would hear from them and that should be any day. I had been told that they would submit everything the afternoon of the 18th and I should hear something within 1-2 weeks.

I got tired of waiting and thought I would contact the insurance company to see the status of everything. Then I found out the paperwork has not even been received by them! So after almost 2 weeks they haven't even SUBMITTED my paperwork!!

I left messages with every phone number I have for the clinic (no one seems to actually answer the phone) and someone finally called me back, only to tell me that someone else would need to call me back and she would send them an email to either call me or email me.

By this point, I have just about had it. Chapel Hill is 3 hours away so it is not easy to get there for appointments, but everyone keeps telling me they are the best in the state next to Duke, how can anyone know if this is the way they do things?

I finally got online and found hospital about 20 minutes away who also does the procedure, called and talked to them, what a shock, the phone was actually answered and am going to see if I can get the procedure done through them.

I figured if there was going to be any delays it would be with the insurance company, not with the doctor.

But I don't know if that will be any easier in the long run. I just want someone to act like they care! This is MY LIFE.

I am so down right now....

[MrsSugarbabe 727]

You are headed in the right direction so keep the faith! The process can be very frustrating at times, but it is all very necessary for your health's sake. I can't even begin to imagine having all the surgeries and complications you've had over the years. It's so important to have a great surgeon, NUT, and medical team support. I wish you well and hope the new group you've found will be a better fit for you personally and medically.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Something for you to consider:

IMHO, given your medical history, you should try to find very experienced bariatric surgeons to work on you. Also, IMHO, you should have your surgery done only at a bariatric "center of excellence" where surgeons have sufficient expertise and experience to qualify for that certification.

Here's a little bit about the accreditation here:

https://www.advisory.com/research/service-line-strategy-advisor/the-pipeline/2013/asmbs-releases-draft-requirements-for-centers-of-excellence

My own surgeon had literally thousands of VSG surgeries under his belt. I think that's one of the reasons that my surgery went so very, very well.

Good luck!