Gained most of my weight back

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I'm sorry but that kind of post is part of the frustration for me.

"you've lost the weight before so you know you can do it. Don't spend time beating yourself up. Instead, spend that time evaluating whats caused you to go back down that road, then begin on a new road by building yourself up and taking time to get healthy again."

It's like people don't want to know, don't want to hear, don't want to understand. Even though it says don't beat yourself up, that's just what the next portion of the sentence does - it shames the individual. "spend that time evaluating whats caused you TO GO BACK DOWN THAT ROAD" Because, obviously, it must be "something they did" that made them gain lots of weight back or be at a never ending stall.

That is classic blaming and shaming.

I really fail to see how those comments you are picking at are classic blame and shame. Self reflection is shaming now? So people are supposed ignore the causes and just focus on what to correct the issue?

If people are that sensitive they shouldn't post on an anonymous internet forum asking for help. Once you publicly voice something, everyone is not going to agree with you or pat you on the head.

Too many people come here and try to convince other people that basic science doesn't work, without being honest with themselves.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Basic science is imperfect.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

So is all the Bro science people toss around here

[The Candidate 3,215]

As is life. The trick is finding the balance between the two.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I have to shake my head a bit at this whole "shaming" trend. I guess I'm just an old old lady because I would never allow a stranger on the internet to have ANY power over my feelings.

I certainly don't feel "shamed" because someone doesn't like the way I walk/talk/chew/sneeze/wear my hair. I don't care if they insult my body type/my exercise routine (or lack thereof)/my diet choices.

I am a big girl and I make my own choices. I don't need anyone's approval or opinion regarding those choices unless I ask and I certainly will NOT feel "shamed" if someone doesn't care for my choice.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Weight loss isn't voodoo -- either when it works or when it doesn't work. In every person's WLS situation, there are inputs and outcomes. In my own situation, if I can measure accurately all the inputs and outcomes, that fits my definition of "science."

That's not saying everyone's inputs and outcomes have to be the same as mine or others'.

But if we look carefully at all the inputs and outcomes, we can often find some useful cause/effect relationships. If we can do that, we can develop new hypotheses (possible solutions) that might produce better outcomes.

At least, that's the problem-solving approach I find helpful.

[woo woo 872]

Unfortunately this victim type mentality seems to really be taking hold in this country.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Unfortunately this victim type mentality seems to really be taking hold in this country.

Seriously. Between "shaming" and "triggering", I really think that there are some out there that need to grow a set.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

<p>I don't average 700 cals, I get in 650 cals, MAXIMUM, I log every bite and lick, including my chewing gum. I have had the thyroid tests and I don't have PCOS. I know how hard I'm trying, I know to just ignore people who suggest I "really" pay attention to what I'm eating and doing, because I already am.</p>

<p>For reasons that have yet to be understood by physicians, my metabolism appears to be broken. It is a life of weighed chicken breasts and leafy greens (and not even much of those).</p>

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

FYI ... the reason I used 700 calories in my post is because earlier today in this thread you had posted a response to Babbs in which you said you were averaging 700 calories/day. Your post was then deleted.

I was just using your own data.

And your correction is now noted.

Thanks.

[Babbs 14,681]

Unfortunately this victim type mentality seems to really be taking hold in this country.

Seriously. Between "shaming" and "triggering", I really think that there are some out there that need to grow a set.

I'm offended. You're shame shaming me.

[Shustar 395]

@@globetrotter On the up-side, if we ever hit a severe famine, you will be one of the last girls standing! That's what I always tell myself! This is really away from the norms on this site, but have you ever tried the HCG injections? It is supposed to circumvent the normal metabolism system. If you are desparate, you might want to investigate. Just a thought.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Unfortunately this victim type mentality seems to really be taking hold in this country.

Seriously. Between "shaming" and "triggering", I really think that there are some out there that need to grow a set.

I'm offended. You're shame shaming me.

You just triggered me.

[Lisa's Hope 421]

Frumpy don't participate in the blame and shame - yeah you made some food choices that didn't help matters, but the amount of effort we have to put into keeping the weight off is absolutely shocking and not something people are willing to really admit/talk about. At my lowest weight I had lost 135 lbs since surgery (it took almost 4 years). I still wasn't at goal but I was close. That was one year ago. In eleven months I gained back 43 lbs. Also, that grand total of 135 pounds lost since surgery represents a loss of about 34 pounds a year, or about 3 pounds a month. That is actually worse than had I just gone on a VLC diet. And as it turns out, I will be on a severe diet the rest of my life - we all will, if we want to be starkly honest with ourselves. This last regain was my second regain since surgery. My surgery was July of 2010 I was 294 lbs,17 months later I was at my lowest post-op weight of 172 lbs. My first regain was Summer 2012 and within 6 months I had gained 30 lbs. I plateaued around 200 for the next 6 months and then got on a serious recommittment kick and dropped 40 lbs in 4 months. I held onto my new lowest weight since surgery (159 lbs) for 5 months, until May of 2014, before I started to gain again. From May 2014 to May 2015 I gained the aforementioned 43 lbs. May 28th 2015 I weighed in at 223 lbs and on the 29th I recommitted again to faithful post-op style eating, all the strict guidance we are initially given and that we follow to. the.letter. In the past 20 days I have lost only 5 1/4 lbs. To say this is frustrating cannot even begin to express it. And before anyone starts suggesting reasons for this slowness, yes I have had all my thyroids checked, yes I have done everything to the letter of the law, yes I have done all one is meant to do.

The truth is that our bodies get f***ed up, metabolically, which they already had problems with to begin with which is what was part of what made us obese in the first place. For the rest of our lives we do not get the luxury of eating a reasonable sensible diet and exercising reasonably to keep a healthy body and weight. It requires an unreasonable amount of diligence and a level of concern over calories/exercise/and the components of food that is usually reserved for those with severe eating disorders.

If you want to keep that honeymoon weight (if you were actually lucky enough to achieve goal during honeymoon phase, which I was not) then resign yourself to eating between 600 and 800 calories with less than 40g carbs, for the rest of your effing life. *

*take this rant with a grain of salt as I am obviously terribly upset and frustrated and sad right now.

I agree with everything you said. I was 296 when I started and my lowest was 169. I had surgery May 21, 2012. It has been three years. My husband passed away in June of 2014 with cancer at the age of 48 which most of you know. I started gaining back after diagnosis from drinking frappes and lattes which gave me a high from the sugar and caffeine. He was very ill and I was his sole caregiver. I hardly ate but drank ready made Protein shakes and coffee. I started gaining back and by the time he passed away, I had gained up to 189 from 169. Now since, I gained to 224 and was able to get back to 207 then gained back to 215 where I am now. It is so hard and we aren't like normal people. You are so right. It gets really hard after the first year and it takes more work than people realize. SO, newbies be very careful because you will be able to gain easily and you will be able to eat more as time goes by. The full feeling is there but not as in the honeymoon stage. liquid calories is the devil. So be careful.

I'm so scared that I will continue to gain if I don't stop with the stupid sugar in coffee. I will say that I think if I hadn't had this surgery, I would have gained a lot more by now. SO it is worth it with all the complications I have with severe GERD, esophageal spasms, bile reflux, and almost drowning in my own bile while sleeping because I had yogurt too late at night.

I'm doing my best to get back on track but it isn't easy.

[Strangefruit 179]

I am sorry to read about your struggles, but I have to admit feeling a little better that I am not alone in my struggles... it's HARD and very frustrating.