I'm 21 and freaking out!

[PennStater920 22]

I'm going into my senior year this fall at a big state school that has a LARGE social scene surrounding drinking. I hate to admit this but I've always taken pride in how much I can drink and not go crazy. I've only thrown up twice in my life and I'm proud of the fact that I can drink just as well as most of my guy friends. I'm pretty terrified for going back this year because my doctors have said to wait around a whole YEAR to drink again and although I know I'll never be able to keep up again, I do NOT want to be the only sober one at these parties and I refuse to let my social life suffer because I can't drink with my friends. Any help/tips? I know my case is very age-specific, but I'm sure most of you have experienced college or a similar party scene? PLEASE HELP!!

Hahah. Guess I could have just said I go to Penn State! I forgot what my username was!

[4me4them 381]

OK, I'll bite. I'm really concerned by your use of "NOT" and "refuse" in reference to a practice that at best can be expensive and at worst after surgery can lead to severe dehydration, chemical imbalances in an already compromised body and consumption of absolutely useless calories that would be better spent on Protein. Are you seriously saying that partying in the way you did your first three years of school is more important than the REST.OF.YOUR.LIFE?

I know it will be easy for you to dismiss my comments as those of someone out of touch because our ages are very different....but I can tell you we ALL have to make changes in our lifestyles for surgery to truly be the tool that helps us get healthy. Drinking Water flavored with all the cool fruit they have in a bar seems like a relatively small price to pay compared to what you can gain by getting healthy.

Sorry if I've offended you....but the point of the forum is to share the truth, even when it is not what we want to hear. Good luck!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

At the risk of sounding like a fuddy-duddy (boy does autocorrect love that one), it breaks my heart to hear that after three years of college (where you haven't even reached legal drinking age) the one thing you think defines your experience is drinking, and drinking to excess at that.

Believe it or not, you can have fun stone-cold sober. You can dance, you can socialize. You also can learn a lot, get better grades, and most importantly exercise better judgement -- about risks, relationships, etc.

Even if you never take another drink the rest of your life you can live a full and exciting life.

If the thought of taking a break from drinking in order to improve or even save your life is so terrible, I really think you would benefit from some soul-searching.

[harley_quinn25 80]

I totally get where u are coming from! Like u I am in my 20's and the best drinker in my circle. What I did was have a last hoorah and stopped drinking. It's helping me cope with having to stop for surgery for the few months. But I agree! That was my worry too. Because it's a social thing and I'm use to partaking in the festivities Lolz . I'd say just stop and find something else to focus on like fitness and preventing saggy skin. I'm still pre op so I can't offer much.

Btw I'm 25 soon to be 26 mother of 2 and married and I STILL drink and keep my grades up in college (my first semester) with no issues.

[TristanNicole 169]

Being cool and fitting in with you friends in college by drinking is only going to last for so long, until the end of the year when you graduate. Having bariatric surgery to help you lose weight and be healthy will last forever. I'm 24 and I kind of find it crazy that someone would rather drink in excess than follow the precautions that set you up to succeed with weight loss. If all you are proud of in college is how much you can drink you've got a wake up call coming when the real world starts.

[bikrchk 1,313]

Look, I get it. I drank A LOT in college, got married, settled down, got fatter and miserable in said marriage, got divorced, had WLS and got healthy and in my late 40's re-established my social life, (lots of dates=lots of bars\concerts\restaurants). I am having my second "young adulthood" now for sure! So... I waited maybe 8 months before I really started drinking regularly again. I did this to maximize my weight loss and because I was literally, "a light weight" now.

In maintenance now for about a year, I can tell you that alcohol is the thing that puts weight on me faster than ANYTHING. Not just the calories in the alcohol, but the munchies and reduction in impulse control for the next 24 hours is a KILLER for me. I would be the last person to tell you you must go alcohol free to be successful. I opt for partying no more than 2 days per week now to control my weight, (but I may be drunk one of those 2 days, ;-o). I've also been known to go out and drink Water (yeah, that stuff in the toilet as the BF calls it), if I've gained a bit. I LIKE my size 4 Rock Revival skinny jeans more than booze. You have to decide what it is you want more, is it to be healthy and fit? Or drunk and fat? Life's all about choices!

[PennStater920 22]

@@harley_quinn25 @@bikrchk thank you for your realistic replies!! Believe me drinking isn't the end all be all of my happiness, but it is very much a part of my social life. I plan on waiting a while to drink again but I would like to be able to have A drink to Celebrate my graduation at the least. My question to you is this: what did you drink when you started back up? I was thinking crystal light and vodka to keep the calories low. Are you at a point where you are able to order a regular drink now or do you think that's what makes the weight come back fast?

I realize that all of this is heading toward a brighter future and who knows maybe by the fall I will have lost so much I won't even want to drink but right now I'm dealing with weekend after weekend of going out with friends and everyone looking at me like they pity me for not being able to drink and people buying a round of shots and me having to tell people I'm not drinking and ALL THE QUESTIONS.

To everyone else: I understand that drinking is not important in the long run and I have to make changes for this to work but I really don't appreciate the condescension and the assumptions that drinking is the only thing I care about or the only thing I'm proud of. This entire journey is a very tough and arduous one and I'm very worried about the social implications in my life. I wish my school didn't have so much of a drinking culture but it does and I love my school and I love my friends and I just know that this school year is going to be rough on me anxiety-wise in feeling left out or feeling like people are talking about me.

I'm sorry for the long post but I just wanted to explain myself

[tiarowley 36]

I agree with most of the above posts. The "real world" will hit u after college and how much weight will u have gained back at the cost of your health? Maybe u should have thought of this before u got your sleeve as it is a life choice. Good luck, and u can still have a lot of fun stone cold sober! Be healthy too!

[Shustar 395]

I couldn't help but notice that your BMI is over 50 which puts you in the severely obese category. You are a very big girl with a very young little girl hiding inside. Competing with the guys with booze is a way of trying to fit in, be the life of the party. You are a young little thing and it might be worth the experience to see what it is like as a attractive female. I hate that society tags our worth by our size. That being said, it is the way it is. I am 62 and I still hate that when I am at my fattest, I become invisible.I own a shoe store and I get to be star in my own show in my store, but I know I am always being judged even if people like and respect me. I wish I had had this opportunity when I was your age. You must have a fabulous personality and I'll bet you are pretty smart, too. Good luck on your journey!

[bikrchk 1,313]

@@harley_quinn25 @@bikrchk thank you for your realistic replies!! Believe me drinking isn't the end all be all of my happiness, but it is very much a part of my social life. I plan on waiting a while to drink again but I would like to be able to have A drink to Celebrate my graduation at the least. My question to you is this: what did you drink when you started back up? I was thinking crystal light and vodka to keep the calories low. Are you at a point where you are able to order a regular drink now or do you think that's what makes the weight come back fast?

I realize that all of this is heading toward a brighter future and who knows maybe by the fall I will have lost so much I won't even want to drink but right now I'm dealing with weekend after weekend of going out with friends and everyone looking at me like they pity me for not being able to drink and people buying a round of shots and me having to tell people I'm not drinking and ALL THE QUESTIONS.

To everyone else: I understand that drinking is not important in the long run and I have to make changes for this to work but I really don't appreciate the condescension and the assumptions that drinking is the only thing I care about or the only thing I'm proud of. This entire journey is a very tough and arduous one and I'm very worried about the social implications in my life. I wish my school didn't have so much of a drinking culture but it does and I love my school and I love my friends and I just know that this school year is going to be rough on me anxiety-wise in feeling left out or feeling like people are talking about me.

I'm sorry for the long post but I just wanted to explain myself

The first thing I tried was a Bloody Mary. It was HUGE and it ended up being dinner (a 2 hour dinner), it made me so full! No, the spice didn't bother me. Today, I love a skinny Margarita if I can get it, (the 10 cal mixer kind), or (lite) cranberry and vodka. IF I do beer, it has to be Guinness as it's barely carbonated. We're not supposed to do carbonation post WLS anyway and I find I just CAN'T do diet soda as a mixer anymore (I miss Captain and Diet Coke) or most beer as they make me very uncomfortable.

[heavyb 37]

Yeah. Don't get this operation now. V

[heavyb 37]

I think you need to be done with that part of life first. I was like you, a "heavy hitter". I partied like crazy until I was 34. Then I realized I would eventually die from it. I am a recovering alcoholic of 21 years and I would not advise even thinking of the operation until I was completely ready to give up that part of life. I never could have made that judgement when in my 20's. I don't recommend you make it now.

[Babbs 14,681]

Do me a favor. Cancel the surgery. You're clearly not ready.

Revisit again when you are.

[PennStater920 22]

Well I'm already about a month out from the surgery so no, I can't cancel it. I don't regret the surgery and I am by no means choosing alcohol over a healthy life. My main question was this: will it be realistic for me to have a drink or two before I graduate. Nothing crazy, no college binge drinking, but just a drink. I am excited that I went through with this at a young age because it means more time to be healthy. I'm working my ass off and doing everything else I'm supposed to do and it's working. Trust me when I say I have a good head on my shoulders. I am ready for this journey and I have been doing really well. I really don't appreciate all of the people telling me to quit. I wasn't asking to live on fast food for the rest of my life all I was asking about was a drink here and there or if anyone had any advice on socializing at bars and parties or if anyone was in the same boat as me.

[SlimJill 291]

As a 20 year old girl I will say I never had much of a social life in college because my weight always held me back from feeling confident and making friends... so I'm not losing anything from abstaining from alcohol right now.

Plus for me there was NOTHING more important than getting surgery, losing weight, and creating a new life for myself.

My job. My school. My friends and family. Everything in my life was put on hold so I could make myself happy. If you don't feel like surgery trumps social life and drinking... maybe you shouldn't get the surgery at all.