To tell or not to tell

[Susan Gustavson 13]

I had my surgery over four years ago and have lost over 130 lbs. I have met my first goal and am working on a goal I never imagined, getting to 140 lbs! From the beginning I told anyone who asked that I have a lapband. I wanted to help anyone who asked how I was doing it. The funny thing is that some people act like I have cheated or not worked hard at losing the weight. Most people re curious and supportive. I am amazed at how some overweight people react to me telling them I did the surgery. A few people have been rude about it like I must be weak for having to lose weight this way or like I expect them to choose this too. I hate sometimes how much attention people pay tohowmuch I eat or what I eat. Overall though I would say I am glad I told everyone.

Did you tell anyone? Who? Why? What was the reaction?

[CravingABetterMe 15]

I'm at the point where I really want to get banded. Next step is to call the insurance company and go through their 3 month process.

What I'd like to know is how did your family react? I don't live in the same state as my family so would have to tell them over the phone.

Do you get a lot of criticism over how little and what you eat?

[KellyKell 3]

When I was considering the surgery I only told a VERY select few. No more than 5 people. I was afraid people would judge me and also what if it didn't work and I was a failure again.

I had surgery a little over a year and a half ago and people say "You look great what are you doing?" If they are closer to me I will now tell them about the surgery and others I just say diet and exercise (even though I used to hate it when people told me that is how they lost weight!).

My boyfriend is especially critical of what I do and do not eat or how much I don't eat. He has actually said to me he misses us going to restaurants and eating big meals together. I go out of my way to spend that time talking to him so we can still have a special time together where we are out, but I am not eating what I used to eat.

I do think people pay attention to my portion sizes or at least I feel like they do. I often fill my plate and take bites here and there of this and that, but usually end up covering up my plate with a napkin. Only a few times has anyone ever made a comment about how much I ate.

I think part of the process of prepping yourself to have the surgery you start to discover your take on how to handle telling everyone or not.

Have a Great Day!

[Nikki D 62]

I told my mom, best friend, uncle and a very close cousin. Other than that, only the girls at work know. All of them have been beyond amazing and supportive. However I have no plans to tell anyone else, not even my Dad.

Customers at work are amazed at my weight loss and constantly ask me how I've done it. My standard line is "a high Protein, low carb, low fat diet. I have finally learned that Protein is key". I pretty much leave it at that. And of course add in exercise.

That's just what I chose to tell people. Quite honestly I feel everyone doesn't need to know.

[Bandista 7,466]

I am very private about my surgery. I told a handful of people and a couple of those I wish I had left out -- not they haven't been supportive, but they just don't need that information about me. Now I have a new normal and I just want to be seen that way, not as some who got there through surgery. I'm some one who doesn't like a lot of scrutiny. My parents are elderly and I specifically did not tell them. My son and husband knew, of course, but I don't think my son processed it. He's a teenager and was at a self-involved place when I had my surgery. I never talk about my band with him and I suspect he doesn't really know. We do talk a lot about exercise and he's proud of me for how hard I work to stay healthy.

[45678 3]

I told only the bestie that got gastric bypass at the same time, my boyfriend, because he was my ride to the hospital lol, and 2 other close friends.

people are to judgmental and have no idea what the band is and don't care to know before they put their 2 cents in.

[SweetTeach 17]

Just got banded on 5/12/15. I also just told my coworkers, parents, my grandmother, and 3 cousins who were in my wedding. I feel like it's on a need to know basis only. These are the people who I am close with and everyone else's opinions don't matter

To me anyway. My husband is fine and supportive of it and now just jokes "I'm a cheap date" since I can't eat what I used to. It is what it is and as long as YOU are happy, nobody is going to take that away from me.

[vwdriver95 11]

I have only told my husband, mother, sister, a friend from church and the friend who told me about the surgeon knows. That's it, no more. I don't need unsolicited opinions of "friends" who have interest in my well being or health.

[Maddiee 29]

Hi all,

I've decided after serious deliberation to get banded mid July a step that I keep thinking about..and almost daily you could say talking myself out of it.. Only my mum and bf knows ive always cared about others opinions and judgements of myself ever since I was younger I don't no why I hold them in such high regard but ive chosen to keep this s secret and seek support elsewhere right or wrong who knows I just want to live life free from fear of judgment for choosing to go to such an extreme to lose weight

I'm hoping in time I will look at this as a great life changing success and I will have the confidence to not care about societies thoughts and tell everyone of this accomplishment... Long shot

[Bandista 7,466]

@@Maddiee congratulations! I got so much support here on the forum from people who had been through the same thing -- all those years of failed diets had made me feel very vulnerable and embarrassed about my inability to lose weight. Now that I've lost a big chunk of weight I feel so much more at ease in the world. I'm finding it much easier to just be mysekf and not give a hoot what others think. Best wishes to you -- keep us posted!

[LessOfMe0503 157]

I'm a bit of an open book. I've told many people. I've been honest about the choice and why I made the choice. I have shared my fears and anxieties as well. 90% of the people have been supportive, I ignore the others.