6 weeks post op and its not going well,, help

[pjrugby 1]

Hi everyone, been searching the net for a while to find a forum so am pleased to have found you. am feeling very alone right now and would love to hear from anyone!

I privately payed for my lap band , and am 6 weeks post surgery .... i payed £7,600 at BUPA - which is a well known uk private hospital .. a big ouch to my wallet .

The op went well, the hospital was great. I managed the liquid diet for 1.5 weeks (i was asked to complete 4 weeks). I came off it having an egg sandwich which went down nicely (much to the horror of my surgeon). But was starving on watery Soup.< /p>

I have felt no restriction what so ever and had my first band fill 2 days ago. I asked the doctor how much liquid he put in , he said 5 mls, and the band can take 10mls , but they dont fill it right up ever (bit of alien language for me really).

So the moment i have been waiting for, for many years has been a huge let down!!! I dont feel at all restricted on what i can eat. I can eat the same amount as pre-op. Although i am forcing myself not to. I can drink as much Fluid as i like, downing a pint of Water is no problem. I feel so let down by everything. My hospital told me i would only be able to manage a cup full of food, and i would full up at the top of my body... i dont feel any of these things. only difference is a little more wind.

If it wasnt for the fact that i saw the band on the xray machine at the 'fill' appointment and if i couldnt feel the port in my side when i bend over, i would never believe i have had surgery.

I feel very alone and that my expensive surgery has been a failure and a waste of my life savings.

Just want to give up and eat lots of food (which is sadly my life long way of dealing with stuff)

I have just started self funding Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to help with that side of stuff, but my body just isn't feeling full as i was lead to believe it would. And will take a while i guess to sort out my head with my overeating.

I have a BMI of 37 kilos - so not heavy enough for gastric bypass op, hence i chose the band.

I am 5ft 7 and weigh 104 kgs, pre op i was 109 kgs. my weight loss has been due to the restrictive pre - op and post op diet .. nothing to do with the band at all.

right now i feel like it has been an expensive waste of time. And i dont know anyone else who has had the procedure so cant ask their advice.

i would be so grateful to hear if anyone has had a similiar experience, is there any light at the end of the tunnel ?

should i demand more support, when and if will the hospital decide to do another band fill.

I only get one more fill in with my package price of £7,800 so will have to pay for others.

many thanks to you all.

[josephine 1]

You truly need to reset your mind and know that the band is just a tool to help you lose weight. I have heard that a person doesn't begin to feel restriction until their 3rd fill and maybe that is when you will begin to feel restriction.

I was able to lose 111 lbs without one single fill and that is because I made it up in my mind that this was it and I was going to change my life and it took me to be 41 years old to realize that I was slowly killing myself. God only knows it took long enough to realize that but it finally worked. I have been maintaining my loss sine July 25, 2006 and I had my surgery on November 10, 2005.

It is very possible to feel restriction but it has to start with your mind first. Your mind is telling your body that you are still hungry and you need to overcome that.

If you have more questions you can email me and I will try with all my heart to help you.

Josephine

[musicalmomma 1]

Josephine, First...GREAT job on your wonderful weightloss AND maintaining it for almost a year! Way to go!!! With that said, I believe you are more the exception to the rule. Most of us DO need fills and we get the band to aid us in feeling full, so we can lose the weight. Most of us can not maintain weight loss, much less get to goal, on "head power" alone. So, while I totally congratulate you on you wonderful success, it seems you did most of the work on your own. I personally got the band because I CAN'T do it on my own and really need the restriction to feel full. Most bandsters do.

pjrugby: :hug: Hang in there. It does sometimes take a few fills before getting restriction. I'm three weeks out from surgery and I also am able to eat anything I'd like...I don't because I don't want to gain weight, but I sure could and it sux feeling hungry most of the time while we wait for proper restriction! I'd really suggest sharing this with your surgeon and even ask for a more agressive fill the next time. Please don't feel like you wasted your life savings...it takes time to get to the point of proper restriction. I know it's hard to be patient. I am feeling VERY impatient too. My first fill is scheduled for July 23rd (and I'm concerned he won't do it that day too). Apparently I have a thick abdominal wall and he said he may have to do it under x-ray...which means making an appointment at the hospital. I can't feel my port under my skin...so I am really afraid I'll have to wait even longer for a fill!

So, I blubbered on and on to say this...you're not alone. Hang in there...we're here for you!

[marjon9 6]

I have to chime in here because, with all respect, I disagree completely with Josephine. Her post actually made me feel pretty irritated. Josephine changed her mind and was able to lose weight in a way that seems like the band was pretty much irrelevant. She decided to lose weight and she did it, without using the band. She never had a fill. That's great, that worked for her. I congratulation her for her great weight loss success, but I honestly think it is a highly unusual story, and not at all what the band is about. I really think that the last thing pjrugby needs to hear right now is that the band is all about dieting and willpower, etc. That is just not true. The band is about losing weight even though diets usually fail, and even though very, very few of us here have succeeded using willpower. (Hint: that's why we are all here.)

First I want to say is that Josephine is flat wrong when she says that "it is very possible to feel restriction but it has to start with the mind first." That is wrong information and it is not helpful to pjrugby to hear that wrong information. Restriction has nothing at all to do with "the mind." The band is a belt around your stomach. You feel restriction when the band is filled enough so that the belt around your stomach tightens down and causes restriction. Period. That's it. That's what the band is for. It has nothing AT ALL to do with your "mind."

It is true that the band is "just a tool." What people mean when they say that is that the band is not going to solve all your problems for you if you sit there sucking down milkshakes and ice cream all day. The band is not magic. You can still find ways to defeat the band by choosing the wrong foods, and by deliberately trying to sabotage yourself.

But when people say that the band is just a tool, what they DO NOT mean is that losing weight with the band is all about dieting and willpower. That is just not true.

I also disagree with Josephine's comment that "your mind is telling your body that you are still hungry and you need to overcome that." That is total nonsense. It is exactly the opposite of what the band is about. If you get proper restriction with the band, then you are actually NOT HUNGRY, after eating much smaller portions. That is the WHOLE POINT!!!!!! You absolutely do not have to conquer all your psychological and emotion problems around eating for the band to work for you. The purpose of the band is to help you to lose weight even though you have not conquered all your psychological and emotional problems with eating.

Again, if you have extreme psychological problems you can find a way to sabotage yourself and defeat the band. But most of us are able to find success with the band because the band is a physical barrier to overeating. And it really works.

pjrugby, you have the same problem most of us have had at the beginning stages of our band journey. You simply do not have enough restriction. To obtain that restriction, you need more fills. Some people obtain adequate restriction on just one fill. A few people have adequate restriction from the surgery alone. But most people need multiple fills, sometimes as many as five or six or more, before they reach the proper level of restriction. Once you have the proper level of restriction, you will then find that you get full on much smaller portions. So you are able to lose weight without being hungry. It really works. It has worked for most of us. It is too soon to feel discouraged. It's like you just bought a fancy sports car but it has no air in the tires. Of course it is not going to go very fast. You have not yet put air in the tires. That's exactly the same situation you have now with the band. You are simply not using the band yet because you do not have adequate restriction. Keep getting more fills until you have adequate restriction.

Josephine, I congratulation you on your weight loss. But frankly, your story is highly unusual. And, frankly, I don't think you understand very well how the band is supposed to work. I don't mean to come down so hard on you personally here. You really have done a marvelous job with your weight loss. However, I think that when someone like pjrugby comes here asking for information and support, we need to provide correct information. It is not correct to tell her that she should not even worry about getting fills, because restriction is all in the mind. That is just not correct.

[cosean 0]

Don't get discouraged. It takes several fills. I didn't feel any restriction until my third fill. I just had my sixth fill (3cc in a 4.5cc band) and think this is just about where I need to be. It is tough to be patient with the "fill" process but I would rather do it slowly than do it too fast, too much and be PBing all the time. I was discouraged for about 2 months but then the fills got better. Good luck and don't get too discouraged. You didn't waste your money, it just takes patience to get the ball rolling.

[josephine 1]

I don't ever want anyone to get the wrong idea about me. I am an odd case and I don't understand why I lost my appetite when I got the band. My doctor told me that some people, where the band is placed sometimes it hits an area where it goes straight to your brain receptors to let you know that you are full.

Yes I have had a weight problem all my life and been from 1 diet to the next and lost and gained and lost and gained. I struggled as all of us have throughout life being called fatty four eyes. I just found my addiction and I conquered that addiction, just like a person who is an alcoholic.

I just think we need to refigure our way of life and find out where our downfall is with food and get rid of it. Some people just overeat and some people just eat all the wrong things. I used to be a ten minute eater and now it takes me almost 45 minutes to eat. I had to adjust my whole life with food and now I actually even like the taste of healthy food.

I was so afraid of throwing up as people always complain about on this website and all other websites. I had a fear that my band was going to move and I would fail again.

I don't want anyone to think badly of me. I've been an odd ball all of my life and I am still trying to figure out who I am.

Do remember I did say it takes most people to their 3rd fill to feel restriction and that is only from reading responses from other people.

I didn't mean to get some people upset and I apologize.

Josephine

[marjon9 6]

Josephine, no one thinks badly of you, and of course there is no reason to apologize. Your weight loss is impressive and you should feel proud of yourself. My response was because I have been in the same place as pjrugby, and I wanted to point to the light at the end of the tunnel

[momlambert 77]

Hang in there, pjrugby! I was banded three months ago and still have no restriction. Yes, it can be discouraging! I was self-pay as well and certainly don't want to have wasted all that money. Before I was banded, I read lots and lots of posts from this site but somehow got the idea that once I started the fill process (May 1--six weeks after surgery) I would start feeling restriction. WRONG! My fifth fill appt. is Monday and it will be my 4th fill. I do hope it works but for now, I have absolutely no restriction and it's a huge struggle. But I believe it will eventually work perfectly and until then I need to have confidence in my choice and do all I can to control my eating and not sabotage my choice. Good luck to you--you are not alone. WE can do this!

[sc2va 0]

pjrugby,

I know how you are feeling. I have only lost 22 pounds in 3 months. Just as others have mentioned, it depends on having the proper fill. I did not hear you say anything about exercise. Please note that it plays a part in your weight loss too. As frustrated as you are, it seems like you need to go back and have a conversation with you doctor. Most of all, be encouraged!!!

Janice

[pjrugby 1]

wow, thank you so much !!!!!!!!!!

after posting my thoughts this morning i spent 3 hours reading the site.. and boy did it tell me lots and lots and i felt so much better.

and now i have just checked and seen your replies i really am so grateful for your kind words of encouragement. it is true i am expecting immediate results - and i think my hospital have not perhaps told me all they could... which is a shame.

Marjon 9 , thank you so much for your words, you reallly do understand how i am feeling and it feels nice not to be alone. !!!!!!!!!

and josephine your words are taken with the kindness they were sent, and i thank you for them.

Its feel so good to be amongst friends !!!! i cant express how much. Been feeling so alone for ages.. all of my friends are normal or slightly over weight, i am the only obese one and i am also the only person i know who has had surgery. so to have people who really 'get' what i am talking about is fantastic.

i feel more motivate since joining the site and your responses have helped me a great deal.... keep them coming i love them !!

thank you

kind regards

Paula

[Yooper 0]

I don't ever want anyone to get the wrong idea about me. I am an odd case and I don't understand why I lost my appetite when I got the band. My doctor told me that some people, where the band is placed sometimes it hits an area where it goes straight to your brain receptors to let you know that you are full.<br /> <br /> Yes I have had a weight problem all my life and been from 1 diet to the next and lost and gained and lost and gained. I struggled as all of us have throughout life being called fatty four eyes. I just found my addiction and I conquered that addiction, just like a person who is an alcoholic.<br /> <br /> I just think we need to refigure our way of life and find out where our downfall is with food and get rid of it. Some people just overeat and some people just eat all the wrong things. I used to be a ten minute eater and now it takes me almost 45 minutes to eat. I had to adjust my whole life with food and now I actually even like the taste of healthy food.<br /> I was so afraid of throwing up as people always complain about on this website and all other websites. I had a fear that my band was going to move and I would fail again.<br /> <br /> I don't want anyone to think badly of me. I've been an odd ball all of my life and I am still trying to figure out who I am.<br /> <br /> Do remember I did say it takes most people to their 3rd fill to feel restriction and that is only from reading responses from other people.<br /> <br /> I didn't mean to get some people upset and I apologize.<br /> <br /> Josephine

<br /> <br /> Jo, you have nothing to apologize for. I totally understand what you are saying. Mind-set has a tremendous amount to do with this whole experience. If you come into this thinking it is a "cure" you will be disappointed. If you think you never have to "diet" again, you will be disappointed. I had my surgery 02-03-03. By November I had lost 100#, it wasn't easy, I had a fill every single time I went to the doctor from the first post op appt. 6 weeks after surgery. I had lost 23# at that 1st appt. I have talked to too many people who try to "test" the band, it's almost a game for some people to see how much they can eat. I stopped drinking carbonated drinks before the surgery, they said this will cause the pouch to expand, I wanted this to work so I made it work. I found myself subconsciously eating the foods I knew I could get by with, creamy Soups, gravies make things easy to go down, etc. The band never stopped working, I DID! I eventually lost 140# then over the past 2 years gained back about 30, I'm dieting again, and it seems to have caused my pouch to shrink again. Now that I've been eating much smaller portions, Protein first, then fruits and veggies, no bread, no total fat ice cream and very little alcohol, I've been able to utilize my band and have lost 22# in the last 8-10 weeks. We have to take responsibility for what we put in our mouths, if you want to play games with the band, go ahead, you will find a way to pack on the pounds, but don't blame the band.<br /> <br /> If you are really able to eat an egg sandwich with 2 slices of bread, your doctor should be looking into a slipped band, 4 years later, I still cannot eat bread like that. In fact if I want to cut back on eating, all I do is eat a small amount of bread or a roll before a meal and I'm literally done, I cannot eat anything. Talk to your doctor, don't leave the office until he takes you seriously. Something is wrong.

[Houstonwehavea 0]

PJ

I'm in about the exact same situation as you. I am feeling more hopeful ---at least today I am:) I was banded on 5/3/07. Had my first fill on

6/9/07. Like you, I felt no restriction at all prior to the fill. I had to keep a close watch on what I ate and wrote everything down. I had quite a few situations where I ate quite a bit of food and ended-up feeling awful - actually hating myself - because - like you - I paid out of pocket for my surgery. I was beginning to think I was even screwing up this and I would not lose any weight with the band. So since my fill - I've done a little better. I still do not feel very much restriction - but believe it will get better with the next couple of fills. I am counting calories and losing weight - more over - I'm losing inches. It hasn't been the "miracle" I was hoping for - but it's just a "tool." Don't lose hope - I'm not!!

PS: ANY POSTERS OUT THERE?? I'm looking for instructions on how to add a ticker and some "bling" to my profile. I set it up on tickerfactory.com. I know I've seen instructions before - but can't remember where. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

[pjrugby 1]

panic !!

i so hope i havent made my band slip, i have never had pain or discomfort from eating, and I had my 1st band fill last thursday - surely the x ray would have showed any slippage ?? i could see the device inside me... and surely the doctor would of noticed if something was wrong ?

I am not due to see my surgeon for 4 weeks ....

when i had the egg sandwich it was post op, and i ate a few mouthfull and found i could really easily eat the whole thing.. i 'came clean' to the surgeon about it he and he seemed surprised..

this is my concern that the band isn't giving me restriction....!!! i know its not a miracle cure, but my plan was i would eat a sensible well balanced meal, feel full for longer and not eat or pick at other calorie high foods, and this is just not the case.. i can eat the same amount of food, by 4 to 5 hours later my tum is empty and i am hungry !!!

With regard to exercise,, its never been a problem for me, infact i am pretty fit.. i often enjoy a 12mile walk on a sunday and an aerobics class.. only problem is after the class i will tuck into a big plate of food - as i am starving.

I havent been to the gym for about 6 weeks, i was post op then just had 2 weeks hols in italy - i can recommend it ! I returned home this week and felt motivated to go to the gym, but the negative experience of the band fill knocked me for six, and so my motivation collapsed and i haven't been to the gym. Monday is a new week, so my gym bag is packed and i am going tomorrow.

i know my surgery wont fix my disorded eating thoughts... and i certainly dont want to play games with my body !!! I am learning that its such and individualised operation for everyone .... But restriction is what i wanted and restriction is not what i have .. as you said Yooper even if you tried you couldn't eat an egg sandwich.. i dont have to try it slips down very easily.

i am certainly going to contact my hospital tomorrow,, i dont feel their 'after care' is working for me... one appointment with the dietician a month.. and i can phone the nurse during the week. I have seen the consultant once since surgery and will see him again in 4 weeks time. and i saw another doctor who performed the band fill.

i would appreciate any info regarding others peoples 'after care package'.. maybe i should shop around to find more support ? as i said i do feel pretty alone .. hey if i was going to weightwatchers i would be going each week !!!

thanks for your messages

kind regards

paula

[libertysuzanne 1]

Sorry to hear that you are feeling so despondent. Have you talked to your surgeon about how you are feeling.

I want to assure you that the band is a worthwhile investment and that you will at some point really start to feel the benefits.

Look at the positive of losing 5kgs that is 10.10lbs. You did that and that is fantastic. Also you are showing great determination in not being beaten!

This place is great for finding out everything you need to know about the lapband. I'm sure there will be a lot of people here that will give you great advice.

Anytime you feel the need tot alk, we will all listen, if ever you need to talk in private, email me. We are all in the same boat!

Hugs

Suzanne x

[Houstonwehavea 0]

Paula,

I truly relate to the negative results of the band knocking you back. I too haven't exercised since I got the band. My incision still hurts - but that shouldn't keep me from my workout and I've alienated myself from my workout buds - who are still there for me. From everything I've read on this board - I may have to have a fill or two more until I hit the elusive "sweet spot." In the meantime, for my mental and physical health I've got to get back to exercise. So like you, after I'm off-line, I'll pack my workout bag for the week. I don't know about you, but my work has been suffering too. I can not concentrate on my job - it's like I'm sitting around waiting for the band to work so I can get on with my life. And this IS my life. Also, I doubt your band has slipped - I was like you, when I got my fill - I saw it on the xray - otherwise I wouldn't have believed it was even there. The Dr. said it was positioned perfectly. I have my own "egg sandwich" story. It was 4 days post op - so I was supposed to be on Clear Liquids only - but was starving. I went to a party at a friends home. Her husband is a cordon bleu chef and he made all the food. It was the most awesome spread of party food I had ever seen - I mean EVER - the presentation alone was incredible. I ended up eating a plate of food and like your egg sandwich it went down without a problem. I chewed the heck out of it - but stll - thought there would be some restriction. That's when I knew I was in for a huge challange. And that is when I thought the band might slip. But it didn't and according to my DR slips are very rare. I was wondering(after my first fill) if maybe too much food will "push" the saline back down or out of the band. That thought just came to me. Anyway - I'll quit rambling. GOAL FOR WEEK. EXERCISE and quit obsessing 24/7. Keep the faith!!!