What happened in your relationship after surgery?

[lisa0617 54]

I have heard that the divorce rate is high after surgery. I would like to know what to expect after surgery. My husband is already making me wonder if I will be trading my happiness for my marriage

Thank you for responding

[Blondie38 5]

I think it really depends on if you are dedicated to him and crazy in love. When you get thinner you will notice you get more attention,looks,and feel confident.How you handle that is a big part..It also depends on if he is insecure. If he is then you have to direct your attention on him and make him feel secure.

[Blondie38 5]

My husband and our relationship is better because I feel confident. Sex is better and we all know that men are visual. He and I are crazy in love and always have been so surgery has just made it better.

[Heatherrc1 37]

I have read that same thing. Scary! I have discussed this with mine and have invited him from every support group meeting to every appointment. I just really want to this to be a positive from myself to my marriage to my friendships.

[AvaFern 3,516]

I think the problem exists in your own post..."trading your happiness for your marriage". If that ever becomes an issue, then the marriage already has a problem. You should never trade your happiness and your health for any other person, including your husband. If he can't get on board with you being happy and healthy, then show him to the door.

[lisa0617 54]

Thank you for your posts. I think you are right its already a problem. I can't figure out what he wants.

[Miss Mac 6,262]

I gave up 23 years of happiness for my first marriage. I gave up 10 years of happiness for my second marriage. I have been with a lovely gentleman who treats me well, for the last nine years. What a difference a relationship makes when it is two sided. If your marriage is already one-sided, where everything is to his advantage and you have lost your sense of self, then you don't need bariatric surgery to expose the raw dynamics of your relationship (and it will).

Life is too short to live with a jerk. Here's to hoping you will find your happiness, whatever that takes.

[MountianGirl 109]

Couldn't agree more. A long marriage doesn't equal a happy marriage.

[lisa0617 54]

I never thought I would say this but I am going to do this for myself. If he doesn't want to be a part of it that is his choice. I am scared to be alone but he is being selfish

[wagyu 50]

Hi Lisa! Do this for yourself! I know I am. I have a bf who isnt supportive/not there for me on this and I know he won't be a part of it so it's already proving to be a problem before the surgery I can't imagine after. We will see. But do this for yourself, as am I!!

[lisa0617 54]

Thank you I will but boy would it be easier if he was on board

[wagyu 50]

I totally agree. i wish my bf was on board too, but ya know you gotta do this yourself. i think i have to go at this alone which is what I am doing. Do you girl, do you! Maybe tell a close friend who won't judge about it? it might take the weight off. (no pun intended haha)

[lisa0617 54]

I notice he mentions my weight now that I am starting my journey. My sister had the surgery and I get mixed messages from her. I told a woman at work and she was very supportive.

[wagyu 50]

thats really odd your sister did the surgery but mixed feelings?

[beba238 123]

Everyone's different. I think my bf at the time must of liked me losing the lbs because I got preggo 7 months post op lol... Fast forward almost 2 few years 1/2 post op, we are married and he wants to get the surgery too. I'm much slimmer and he brings a lot of ice cream and soda and other bad things around. I think he wants me to gain weight. Anywhoserz its up to me to keep my will power. When we are outside and someone checks me out he grabs me very tight as if to say "she's mine" which is awesome. I'm looking into cosmetic surgery and he's very supportive.

The surgery gave me a lot of confidence even in my relationship because I used to be embarrassed to come around his friends. Now I'm like whatever I can care less