Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Who, if anyone, did you tell?



Recommended Posts

Hi all!

I'm considering surgery and will attend my first informational session on 6/15. I'm glad to have found this forum and have gotten alot from reading your successes and struggles.

Here's my question: Who did you tell about your surgery? If I opt to move forward with the surgery, I don't want to tell coworkers. I'm relatively new at this job and don't feel a real sense of connection with my thin coworkers. I guess what I'm asking is if it's possible to take a week or two of vacation, come back and resume normal work life without having to disclose. I understand that some will draw conclusions from a noticeable weight loss, but am curious to hear the experience of others.

Thanks in advance!

BB

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've told my coworkers that I'm friendly with - ones that I go out to lunch with/post work drinks with.

I've told my husband, parents, sister, closest girlfriends...

I think that is about all. I'm pretty sure I'm going to keep it off social media, unless my MIL spills the Beans, which most likely she will do once she finds out. I've asked my husband not to tell them yet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I pretty much told everyone, even strangers walking down the street. But I am different. This decision is yours to own. Most people that I met were either 1) supportive, or 2) curious.

It may be a little hard for you to hide your decision from everyone. I would recommend that you inform your supervisor.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I chose to share my surgery news with my boss because of the time for appointments I had to be out of the office. I also wanted to use Short Term Disability for my time off work and not my vacation time. I'll be out two weeks and perhaps working half days at home on the third week depending on how I feel. My boss has been amazingly supportive.

My husband and parents know. A handful of friends know. I'm keeping it pretty quiet. Mostly because I don't care to hear everyone's take of it - it's my journey and mine alone. However I don't think it takes a genius to figure out what happened a few months down the line.

I'm still on the fence of telling my kids. I'm thinking I'll tell them AFTER the surgery is over - I'd hate for them to worry unnecessarily.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my daughter, best friend and current co-workers immediately, I'm a self discloser about just about everything. I wasn't going to tell other family members but as I got closer to approval I decided to tell my sisters. my family and best friend live 1000 miles away. I asked them not to tell anyone else. When I had complications in the hospital I reached out to my work family back home for prayers and support. I had been afraid of unwanted advice and scrutiny from all of the people I hesitated to tell and have gotten nothing but support. Telling them all was the right choice for me. I wonder how many of us don't tell people out of fear of judgement only to learn we judge ourselves more than anyone else ever could?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

HI!

Noone, I just didn't feel comfortable disclosing and feel it is a personal decision and my business. My family and medical team know that's it. The only exception for me would be if a random morbidly obese person were to inquire I would definitely give up the details. I feel they are entitled.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I started with close family and friends, as surgery draws nearer (3 days!) I've told just about everyone. I've been at my job 17 years, so I know people there very well. I'm surprised how many people asked questions, like they were curious about it for themselves or others. I probably won't announce it on Facebook lol but if anyone asks, I'll tell them. I feel like I've learned so much in the last year leading up to this that I have a duty to share knowledge and help end the stigma people feel about WLS. I wouldn't worry about sharing a heart bypass, so why not gastric bypass, especially if it prevents or delays heart disease.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have told my very very close friends (handful) and my close family (I have a very very small family mom, dad, sister). Depends on who you are really.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told only two people at work...one of them couldn't keep her mouth shut as well as I thought she could :( As far as I know, only four people at work know. Of course, my husband knows and my 3 kids (ages 17-26). I opted to not tell my mother as she has Alzheimer's and she freaks out of I even have a head cold as there is no one else in her life. She feels her security in life is threatened if I am not 100%. I chose to not tell any other family, close or extended. This is very personal to me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol!!! I have to laugh...so I didn't tell anyone but my husband and my sister. My other friends and coworkers...I just said I'm having surgery. ...well guess what I receive post op day 5....A DOZEN chocolate ASSORTED COVERED STRAWBERRIES from Sherri's Berries! !!! Lol. ..they looked amazing. .but I didnt give in...I haven't had sweets in over 2 months...and they aren't on my nut plan....so...my husband is having the time of his life. Am I wrong bcuz I took one berries out took a pic for IG and told her they were amazing? But then her response was she was going to bring wine and our favorite chicken salad over???? Oh lawwd.....I thought it was going to be good not to tell people. ..:(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my mom, younger siblings, and my aunt's family (mostly because I wanted her to consider surgery as well) along with a few of my lifelong friends who live states away and my boyfriend. I'm unemployed so I didn't have to worry about coworkers but I have had some issues with my boyfriend telling his family who live far away. I didn't want them to know right away because I didn't want to be judged or have to worry about their opinions about me getting it while unemployed and all that. Plus no one should have to worry about telling someone close to them and then spreading your information. It's like if he had herpes, I wouldn't take it upon myself to tell my family and all that lmao just my opinion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

    • Jenopolis

      Had a sleeve in 2017, lost over 100 pounds. Had a DS surgery this year (2025) for more sustainable weight loss. 🤞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      The 14th was my day. I am home and recovery is going pretty smooth. They even let me walk out of the hospital. Picture of me in recovery curtesy of my boyfriend lol. 

      · 3 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Glad it went well!! Wishing you a speedy recovery and wonderful success!! 🤗

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

      3. Selina333

        Neat you have a pic of this day! I was sooo happy to get my surgery. It was well worth it! And I'm not even near my goal. I had surgery Dec. 2!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×