Am I being a dishonest Christian?

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@TeamMe, according to your reasoning, your screen name itself is unChristian. If your faith doesn't require you to provide your social security number and bank statements to everyone around you, why are you required to make your personal medical choices public matters? I can't fathom how being an individual is sinful.

Edited December 10, 2015 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[Miss Mac 6,262]

I actually heard this from the pulpit once. "You don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell everything you know."

In Poor Richard's Almanac, Ben Franklin said, "To whom thy secrets thou doest tell, to them thy freedom thou doest sell."

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I'm a Christian and I have chosen not to tell anyone except close family that I have been sleeved. I share the pre-op diet (that resulted in more than half of my weight loss to date) and that I am keeping my calorie intake low, Protein intake of at least 60 g and Water intake of at least 64oz. All of this is true, but I still feel funny when people ask me about me about my transformation or say that I have inspired them to do better. We all know that this surgery is only a tool and that life after surgery is still hard and that we still have to work at it. So why do I feel, for lack of a better word, guilty, about not sharing that I had the sleeve? Has anyone else experienced this? If so, how are you feeling and how are you dealing with it?

You don't owe anyone details about your personal life. In my congregation my go to response is, " a lot of hard work.". That is the truth. Not guilt involved.

[RuralNurse 48]

Hi,

I know you posted this awhile ago, but one great thing about forums is someone looking this up even years from now may get help.

First I am a hard follower of Christ. I believe every good gift come from God. I am a nurse and have seen some amazing miracles done in the hands of doctors and nurses but it was clearly the hand of God that led them (even if they were not Christian and did not know it!).

I believe anything that helps us (medications, treatments, surgeries, therapy, etc) was allowed to be discovered because our Father in Heaven loves us and wants us to be healthy and happy.

If there is any time in your future that God sends someone to you and He wants you to witness to them about the surgery you will know it! He will whisper to your spirit and you will know that He sent this person to you. You may even become a mentor for them as they go down the same path.

And at the same time, we should not cast our pearls before swine. There are so many people that do not understand obesity and "we" as Christians can be some of the most judgmental and harsh people on the planet (despite our instructions not to be).

I am telling no one except my mother that had one of the first weight loss surgeries in the 1970s. I am not even telling my husband of 33 years..and before you judge me, remember you don't know me or my relationship. I feel complete peace about my decision.

You can always chose to tell people after if you feel led, you can never "untell" anyone.

Take it to Him in prayer, He will never led you astray!

Edited December 19, 2015 by RuralNurse

[adrinanna 46]

I know church is suppose to be safe place but my plan is to limit the people tell for fear of judgement. You don't have enough faith...or you don't exercise enough self control.

Keep in mind I am just starting this journey and it will be awhile before I would be sleeved if I get approval. I still have some initial test, psych evaluation etc to complete so I may change my mind.

I have also witness others talk about people who they know have had surgery and has gained weight bad. I don't want to be that person. I guess I am still afraid of failure

sorry this is not an encouraging post.... I have a relationship with Jesus but I struggle with church sometimes but I am faithful not to forsake the assembling.

[fly-high 84]

Hi,

I know you posted this awhile ago, but one great thing about forums is someone looking this up even years from now may get help.

First I am a hard follower of Christ. I believe every good gift come from God. I am a nurse and have seen some amazing miracles done in the hands of doctors and nurses but it was clearly the hand of God that led them (even if they were not Christian and did not know it!).

I believe anything that helps us (medications, treatments, surgeries, therapy, etc) was allowed to be discovered because our Father in Heaven loves us and wants us to be healthy and happy.

If there is any time in your future that God sends someone to you and He wants you to witness to them about the surgery you will know it! He will whisper to your spirit and you will know that He sent this person to you. You may even become a mentor for them as they go down the same path.

And at the same time, we should not cast our pearls before swine. There are so many people that do not understand obesity and "we" as Christians can be some of the most judgmental and harsh people on the planet (despite our instructions not to be).

I am telling no one except my mother that had one of the first weight loss surgeries in the 1970s. I am not even telling my husband of 33 years..and before you judge me, remember you don't know me or my relationship. I feel complete peace about my decision.

You can always chose to tell people after if you feel led, you can never "untell" anyone.

Take it to Him in prayer, He will never led you astray!

I'm with you, it is YOUR journey...

I compare this point in time to going back and being a kid, back when you cared about nothing but your own happiness.

Since that time you grew up, got married, had kids, got a career and the world thrust upon your shoulders.

There was no time to think solely about you or your happiness. Happiness was how you all felt as a family not you as the individual.

This is the one time to be selfish and think of yourself first as an Individual. Many of us have not done that for 20 years. This is your time and your OWN business, no one elses.

Enjoy your Individual Journey...

[Dar61 20]

Amen!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[jena530 16]

My reply was that it was the result of hard work and big time Portion Control. That's not lying! Congrats on your success. Keep up the work and praise

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[drybonescomealive 6]

I definitely have decided not to tell many people. And I've been struggling with this as well and modifying something God created. My only hope is in that we serve a loving Father.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[bitingcat 87]

A friend of mine was talking to her delivery man about church and he said he just couldn't get past all the hypocrites and liars. She told him that was the thing about God - He lets everybody in.

Becoming a Christian doesn't make you perfect. It doesn't magically make you less judgy or gossipy or mean spirited. We all know it doesn't make you suddenly not-fat . So while church should be a loving, caring and accepting place, it's unfortunately full of, you know, actual people. And while Christians are (hopefully) trying to hold themselves to a higher standard, they're still made of clay, just like everyone else.

So no, I don't feel it's dishonest to keep my private business private. My husband and I *are* eating low carb - and I don't feel the need to mention that mine came with a side of surgery. I really like my church family, but I don't need their approval or judgement for this decision. I certainly don't need to tempt people to gossip or spite or stupid comments there or out in the real world. (I get enough of those without any help.) If I feel moved by the Spirit to share my story with someone, then I will, as someone has done with me. But like abuse, addiction, and traumatic relationships, not everybody needs to know everything. (And I say this as a person who shares "My kids have autism," and "Hi - let me tell about food allergies!" stories at the drop of a hat for general public edification.)

Now, if you feel like you need the targeted prayers and support of the whole congregation, that's a whole different matter. Just be prepared to do a lot of education, debunking, and dealing with stupid comments. You know - just like the rest of the world

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

[fly-high 84]

Amen!

I've said nothing... They can talk and assume but it won't come out of my lips....

If you tell them, you will regret it for a very long time....

The thinner and more amazing you look the more they will HATE you. You will be amazed how many people like you as a plump or obese person, you were put in that box and they want you to stay there...

Very sad but real!!!

Great post!

Sent from my SM-N920P using the BariatricPal App

[kjaustin 14]

I'm with you, it is YOUR journey...

I compare this point in time to going back and being a kid, back when you cared about nothing but your own happiness.

Since that time you grew up, got married, had kids, got a career and the world thrust upon your shoulders.

There was no time to think solely about you or your happiness. Happiness was how you all felt as a family not you as the individual.

This is the one time to be selfish and think of yourself first as an Individual. Many of us have not done that for 20 years. This is your time and your OWN business, no one elses.

Enjoy your Individual Journey...

[Daenerys Targaryen 109]

I'm a Christian, and I don't tell people about my surgery unless they are family or friends that I feel like sharing with. My medical history is private, and I wouldn't feel obligated to tell others if I had had some other type of surgery. So when coworkers ask how I've lost 160 lbs, I tell them a piece of truth (I go to the gym now, I eat less carbs, smaller portions, etc) and then I change the subject. My battle with weight may be apparent on the outside, but it's a very personal and private issue for me on the inside. Some people are more open about it, and that's ok too. Don't lie about anything, but don't feel like the world is entitled to your private medical history.

[fly-high 84]

I'm a Christian, and I don't tell people about my surgery unless they are family or friends that I feel like sharing with. My medical history is private, and I wouldn't feel obligated to tell others if I had had some other type of surgery. So when coworkers ask how I've lost 160 lbs, I tell them a piece of truth (I go to the gym now, I eat less carbs, smaller portions, etc) and then I change the subject. My battle with weight may be apparent on the outside, but it's a very personal and private issue for me on the inside. Some people are more open about it, and that's ok too. Don't lie about anything, but don't feel like the world is entitled to your private medical history.

Amen!