Frustrated, confused and scared

[nervous nana 98]

My name is Tina. I am 42 years old and a mother of 3, grandmother of 2. I am currently an OB nurse. During my recent mandatory annual physical I found out I am diabetic, high blood pressure and specifically high triglycerides. I was already suffering from lower extremity edema and plantar fasciitis making it extremely painful to do my fast pace job. My cw is 248, hw 252 ht 5'6.

I am currently in the process of having my 4 nutritionist visits which must be 30 days apart. All other pre requisites have been completed with an anticipated roux en y sometime in September. I am doing this in secret but turned to my work family for support due to so many of them already having the surgery and simply because they would know when I went out on medical leave bc no matter what laws are supposed to protect your privacy, there will always be that talk in the workplace and I just figured it would sound better coming from me.

The ones that have had the surgery are very supportive, however the last 2 days I feel as though I have been cornered and bombarded by a couple of the physicians. I was told today I was taking the easy way out??? What is easy about this?? I was told this was not normal or natural and there would be long term effects from it. I am already scared to death, but I am equally as scared not to have the surgery. Why must people say anything if they can't say things to help? What's worse is it's SKINNY people with all the advise!! How can you give advise about something you have never lived???

I don't see this as an easy way out, it's one of the hardest decisions I've ever made so why do I feel like I'm losing respect from ones that used to respect me?

I am so thankful for this site. When I'm feeling down or confused I come here and get my head back on straight. So, thank you to every single person that shares their experience. You ARE helping others whether you know it or not.

[Heatherrc1 37]

Just like someone trying to give advice on parenting and never had kids! People are so quick to give their opinions and without knowing the struggles or the situation. Ugh! Frustrating!

Just keep reading all the positive effects that this is going to have on your new and improved life!

I wish you the best of luck and most of all I wish you peace your decision.

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

Some people just love the sound of their own voice and love to tell people what to do.

This is your life and you have made the best decision for you. Stick to your guns because no one else knows what you have been through in your life or what has brought you to here.

You have made a monumental decision to take control of your life and that is something to be admired! You are going to do well and they will still have something to say, so just let it roll off.

Focus on what you need to do and Celebrate every success you have along the way! It will be an amazing journey and I wish you well. You can do this!!

[nervous nana 98]

Thank you so much for replying. Yes it is the same as giving parenting advise without having children. And what is this "normal" they speak of? Who sets the standard for that anyway? Is it "normal" to be 100 lbs overweight? I think not!! My decision has been made but I certainly need the prayers for peace. Thank you!

[newstart38 18]

I am just started the process to get sleeve , I haven't said anything to anyone but my work family and a few friends. The doctor I work for actually said the same thing to me, her words was it wasn't safe to have WLS and she said to me "why don't you go get on the a treadmill, I bet you haven't done that." I was floored by her words, I told her you don't know my story to say that to me, by the time I was done with her all she could do was apologize and walk away.. People like that is the main reason why I rather not say anything to anyone.

Needless to say don't let anyone make you feel like you are making the wrong decision. You have to do what's best for you and not for them. Good luck with your new journey !!!

[nervous nana 98]

@ newstart38, good for you for putting her in her place. For the life of me I cannot understand where people think it is okay to minimize the extreme courage it takes to commit to this journey. I was actually told by one of the physicians that the only reason people were overweight was because they ate too much and didn't exercise. Omg I was livid, that simply isn't always the case. Anyway, good luck to you also in this journey and thank God we have each other on this site to come to and lean on.

[cecilialee220 10]

Nervous nana..... I can honestly say, there is "nothing easy" about this surgery. You have to watch everything you put in your mouth, you have to think and rethink everything you eat, drink. How you are going to cope with people wondering why you are barely eating, if something is wrong with the food, or wrong with you.

But 9 months out.....i would do it again, twice!!!! In fact I have even encouraged my daughter to have the surgery, as this, other than having my kids, is one of the best things I have for in my life, for myself..... And would do it again!!! So tell them to keep their opinions to themselves and left you be happy and healthy!

[alicia54 36]

the advice they gave you for free it would have been a waste of money to have paid for it

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

This just shows how ill-informed people in the medical community are about obesity, if anyone should have a clue you would think it should be physicians.

[Djmohr 6,965]

Ugh! I absolutely hate hearing that people in the medical profession behave this way! Of anyone they should be educated on this disease.

I am so sorry that you are already having issues like this especially from egotistical people like the physicians you work with. To your point, they have probably never suffered with obesity and the diseases that come with it.

There is no easy way out and of all the ways to lose weight this is actually the hardest! There is no going back and it forces you to change. More importantly if you do what you are supposed to, the weight will stay off.

God bless you for taking care of others, now it is time for you! I cannot imagine what it is like to work on my feet all day taking care of other people when I hurt so bad at my heaviest.

Don't let these horses behinds effect you negatively. They are honestly not worth your time and effort.

Good luck to you and please feel free to reach out if you have questions or just want to talk.

[Brigitteboyce17@gmail.com 5]

You trust in yourself. You have made the right decision. Ignore the skinny bigots! Keep courage and best of luck.