Another example of not fitting into the world

[Sharon1964 2,530]

We've all experienced the typical ways of not fitting into the world... restaurant booths, airplane seats, amusement park rides, chairs with arms, student desks, regular sized blood pressure cuffs, etc.

Friday I had to have a cardiac stress test in order to get cardiac clearance for VSG surgery. It's one of the last steps I have before getting insurance approval.

In the nuclear medicine area of my doctor's office, there is a waiting room with a little alcove where they put the IV port in. There is no door on this alcove. I can hear everything the tech is saying to each person as he explains the procedure and puts in the IV and then sends them back to the waiting room.. Most of the people there are over 65 or so, and I know some of them are hard of hearing, just from observing them in the waiting room. I'm 50, and definitely not hard of hearing.

So when it's my turn, and the tech stars his spiel, I stop him and tell him I've heard him give it about four times now. Then suddenly he stops, and in that same loud voice, says he's not sure I'll fit into the imaging machine. So when there is an empty machine he takes me in there to make sure I'm going to fit. It does, just barely, go over me. When I come out of that room to go back to the alcove, every eye in the waiting room is on me.

I don't get embarrassed easily, and being fat doesn't embarrass me. I wasn't embarrassed that everyone knew that I might be too fat for the machine... they all have eyes, they can all see how big I am.

Normally, I would have schooled the person on how they should treat fat people, so that other fat people aren't embarrassed. But for some reason, this time I didn't. I'm not really sure why. I have a followup appointment in two weeks and I might bring it up then.

Anyway, yet another example of how I don't fit into the world. That's my main reason for getting the surgery, I want to fit into the world.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

We've all experienced the typical ways of not fitting into the world... restaurant booths, airplane seats, amusement park rides, chairs with arms, student desks, regular sized blood pressure cuffs, etc.

Friday I had to have a cardiac stress test in order to get cardiac clearance for VSG surgery. It's one of the last steps I have before getting insurance approval.

In the nuclear medicine area of my doctor's office, there is a waiting room with a little alcove where they put the IV port in. There is no door on this alcove. I can hear everything the tech is saying to each person as he explains the procedure and puts in the IV and then sends them back to the waiting room.. Most of the people there are over 65 or so, and I know some of them are hard of hearing, just from observing them in the waiting room. I'm 50, and definitely not hard of hearing.

So when it's my turn, and the tech stars his spiel, I stop him and tell him I've heard him give it about four times now. Then suddenly he stops, and in that same loud voice, says he's not sure I'll fit into the imaging machine. So when there is an empty machine he takes me in there to make sure I'm going to fit. It does, just barely, go over me. When I come out of that room to go back to the alcove, every eye in the waiting room is on me.

I don't get embarrassed easily, and being fat doesn't embarrass me. I wasn't embarrassed that everyone knew that I might be too fat for the machine... they all have eyes, they can all see how big I am.

Normally, I would have schooled the person on how they should treat fat people, so that other fat people aren't embarrassed. But for some reason, this time I didn't. I'm not really sure why. I have a followup appointment in two weeks and I might bring it up then.

Anyway, yet another example of how I don't fit into the world. That's my main reason for getting the surgery, I want to fit into the world.

I understand. I have been too large for most hospital equipment for several years and learned to check ahead. I have had to educate so many people in healthcare. For instance my old HMO would send me for tests, I would ask that they check on weight limits, etc, they would assure me that I would fit, I would arrive for the test, and sure enough would be over the weight limit, and then have to start over.

It is a pain.

Sometimes, it is not even the equipment but in the training of the staff.

As people's weights in this country increase, this is an issue that will become more critical.

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

don't fit into the world.

@@Sharon1964

I'm sorry you had to deal with that nasty person

you are improving your lifestyle

he will always be ignorant

good luck and success with surgery

who deserves it more??

kathy

[BarrySue 602]

I feel you on this one.

I went back to school, worked hard, and got amazing opportunities for travel. But I always had to quietly ask for flight information so I could book myself into a window seat, and cover myself with a jacket so the flight attendant wouldn't point out the seatbelt wouldn't fit over me and make a scene bringing me an extension, and at times when the flights was full, I'd have to awkwardly ask a classmate to switch and spend an uncomfortable flight trying not to impede on anyone else's space. Everyone else is so excited to travel and explore the world, and I just dread it since it always involves me hlding my breath and waiting to be the next buzzfeed article "Fat student kicked off plane for being too fat."

Heck, I got to go to Europe last summer, and I spent most of the time silently frustrated with myself for how I didn't fit in ANYTHING. Let me tell you, I've never appreciated how roomy and accessible American facilities are until I spent a few weeks in France.

The worst part is, I can't be upset at anyone but myself.

So OP, I really sympathize with you. All we can do is try to change, and use our unique perspective to remember that everyone deserves dignity.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

The worst thing for me was MRI's. I have a benign tumor that has to be monitored. It means bi-annual MRI's. When I was first diagnosed I just fit into the machine. Now and MRI isn't fun on a good day, so imagine just barely fitting into the machine. I then had to get pre-certs to go out of network to the one hospital with a super sized open MRI machine. I then had to pay the out of network co-pay.

[Daisee68 2,493]

I see this is an old post but oddly it is something I have been thinking about lately. I have chronic kidney stones and have to have them broken up occasionally if they get too big instead of passing. Anyway these machines that break up the stones (called lithotripsy) are only at a few locations around. I always had to go to the only one that could hold over 300 pounds. One time the nurse scheduled me for the other location and I went for per-op and I was 3 pounds over so they denied me the procedure. She wasn't even sympathetic. Just "nope. Can't do it". I was mortified. I cried and cried. But did it change me? Nope. Well I just realized this week that at my new weight that will never happen again. I will never have to ask about the weight limit on an MRI table or lithotriosy table again! I haven't flown since I've lost but I am excited to do so. I still have a huge bottom half so the seat won't be comfortable (seriously who do they build those damn seats for?!) But at least maybe I won't have to have the seatbelt extender. I mourn the life I have let pass me by while worrying about how I looked or where I could fit. I pray this will always keep me fearful of regain and on track.

[makemyownluck 785]

I know the feeling... I've regained a lot of weight since my post-op low weight, due to pregnancy and backsliding on my diet. I'm not yet to the point where I don't fit in some chairs or booths, but I'm getting close. My lowest I was a size 24 (on my 5'10" body, it was quite slim, especially compared to where I started) and I really miss being that "skinny".

I haven't fit into my jeans since about 3 month mark of my pregnancy. My baby is 10 months old now. I'm determined to get there, and beyond!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

To follow up in this, I am down 200+ pounds from my highest weight (with a long way to go) and I have started to feel comfortable going places without having to worry about fitting. I went to a book signing this weekend and didn't scope out parking and seating ahead of time and did fine.

There are miracles every day.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

We've all experienced the typical ways of not fitting into the world... restaurant booths, airplane seats, amusement park rides, chairs with arms, student desks, regular sized blood pressure cuffs, etc.

Friday I had to have a cardiac stress test in order to get cardiac clearance for VSG surgery. It's one of the last steps I have before getting insurance approval.

In the nuclear medicine area of my doctor's office, there is a waiting room with a little alcove where they put the IV port in. There is no door on this alcove. I can hear everything the tech is saying to each person as he explains the procedure and puts in the IV and then sends them back to the waiting room.. Most of the people there are over 65 or so, and I know some of them are hard of hearing, just from observing them in the waiting room. I'm 50, and definitely not hard of hearing.

So when it's my turn, and the tech stars his spiel, I stop him and tell him I've heard him give it about four times now. Then suddenly he stops, and in that same loud voice, says he's not sure I'll fit into the imaging machine. So when there is an empty machine he takes me in there to make sure I'm going to fit. It does, just barely, go over me. When I come out of that room to go back to the alcove, every eye in the waiting room is on me.

I don't get embarrassed easily, and being fat doesn't embarrass me. I wasn't embarrassed that everyone knew that I might be too fat for the machine... they all have eyes, they can all see how big I am.

Normally, I would have schooled the person on how they should treat fat people, so that other fat people aren't embarrassed. But for some reason, this time I didn't. I'm not really sure why. I have a followup appointment in two weeks and I might bring it up then.

Anyway, yet another example of how I don't fit into the world. That's my main reason for getting the surgery, I want to fit into the world.

Sorry you had such a negative experience, but this surgery will not magically make you fit into this world. There will always be a place where you are out of the norm whether it be being the lone female, too short, too tall, the wrong race, age, ethnicity, etc.... It's important that we learn to love ourselves for who we are, rather than some what we imagine someone else thinks we should be. Focus on being the best you there is and the hell with what everyone else thinks.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Sorry you had such a negative experience, but this surgery will not magically make you fit into this world. There will always be a place where you are out of the norm whether it be being the lone female, too short, too tall, the wrong race, age, ethnicity, etc.... It's important that we learn to love ourselves for who we are, rather than some what we imagine someone else thinks we should be. Focus on being the best you there is and the hell with what everyone else thinks.

I'm as tough as nails, and don't really care what other people think most of the time. In this instance, I was talking about literally fitting physically into the world. Socially fitting in is a whole 'nother story.

And now, I fit! I fit the airplane seat, I fit the restaurant booth, I fit the seat at the basketball game, I fit into the chairs with arms!

[ladycrank 9]

I just went through the almost not fitting into the machine yesterday for my Upper GI. The nurse was really sweet and tried not to make me feel bad. It was very very snug . When the Dr. came in the nurse was explaining to him that some of the lower pics would be fuzzy because the machine was up against me. The dr. gave that look that I have all to often seen....instead of apologizing like I normally do I told him..."I have to have the test so I can have the surgery that will help me fit in the machine to have the test!" with that he started laughing and assured me we would make it work. I told my sister as we were on our way home, I for the first time didn't let it mess with my emotions, I know I am heavy but I also know that I am on the road to changing that. I cannot wait till I see the surgeon again and can get my surgery date!!!!

[dezziethibodaux606 0]

What's the hardest thing so far about going threw to get this surgery for u and which one you getting

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[OneReallyBigBird 267]

I just went through the almost not fitting into the machine yesterday for my Upper GI. The nurse was really sweet and tried not to make me feel bad. It was very very snug . When the Dr. came in the nurse was explaining to him that some of the lower pics would be fuzzy because the machine was up against me. The dr. gave that look that I have all to often seen....instead of apologizing like I normally do I told him..."I have to have the test so I can have the surgery that will help me fit in the machine to have the test!" with that he started laughing and assured me we would make it work. I told my sister as we were on our way home, I for the first time didn't let it mess with my emotions, I know I am heavy but I also know that I am on the road to changing that. I cannot wait till I see the surgeon again and can get my surgery date!!!!

Hey ladycrank. I totally understand your situation, as I was absolutely unable to fit into a CT Scan machine early last year when I had a blood clot in my leg, I was pretty bummed out about it.

Fast forward a year and a half later and I've worked to lose 120 pounds and finally last week when I went in for the Pre-Op Upper GI scan, I was able to fit into the CT Scan machine just fine. I couldn't dance in it but the doctor said all the pictures came out great. I truly feel blessed.

Good luck to you, I know we can all do this!

Don't look back, turn the page, and let your next chapter begin!

[ladycrank 9]

I just went through the almost not fitting into the machine yesterday for my Upper GI. The nurse was really sweet and tried not to make me feel bad. It was very very snug . When the Dr. came in the nurse was explaining to him that some of the lower pics would be fuzzy because the machine was up against me. The dr. gave that look that I have all to often seen....instead of apologizing like I normally do I told him..."I have to have the test so I can have the surgery that will help me fit in the machine to have the test!" with that he started laughing and assured me we would make it work. I told my sister as we were on our way home, I for the first time didn't let it mess with my emotions, I know I am heavy but I also know that I am on the road to changing that. I cannot wait till I see the surgeon again and can get my surgery date!!!!

Hey ladycrank. I totally understand your situation, as I was absolutely unable to fit into a CT Scan machine early last year when I had a blood clot in my leg, I was pretty bummed out about it.

Fast forward a year and a half later and I've worked to lose 120 pounds and finally last week when I went in for the Pre-Op Upper GI scan, I was able to fit into the CT Scan machine just fine. I couldn't dance in it but the doctor said all the pictures came out great. I truly feel blessed.

Good luck to you, I know we can all do this!

Don't look back, turn the page, and let your next chapter begin!

Thank you, I look forward to the day when I can fit in the machines with no problem. My Dr's office submitted to my insurance the end of last week so hoping to get a call soon

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