Who am I ?

[laguerr13 993]

Initially when I took this on I was very well informed since it took me two years to come to the decision, but a few months ago I asked myself a question and it is coming back to haunt me : how would I treat people who meet me and like me, will I be standoffish or rude? Whenever I met someone I always judged them by their words, demeanor, and actions, never by their looks because I knew what that felt like, but how will il know that the people I meet afterward are genuine, they won't know my past, the way I looked, or who I really am, ironically I work in psych and when my Dr. Signed off on me we never bothered to cover this, one of my therapist friends said whenever I need her she will be there for me, I guess I'm just wondering if I undergo this transformation will I feel sad for the old me every time I am approached by a stranger wanting my friendship? This is really bothering me guys, being fat made me humble and I will never let that go!

[LivingFree! 478]

Not quite sure what you are asking here--

1) Will people tell you how great, fantastic, awesome, etc. you look after you lose all your weight and constantly pay you compliments that you never received before? Will it begin to make you wonder where all those compliments were when you were obese? Yeah, there is a lot of fat prejudice in this world and people are cruel. You are still the same person after WLS and it can really mess with your head if you allow it to. Some people aren't affected by this. I happen to be one of them that really struggles with this.

2) For me personally, there is a lot of emotional baggage that stems from the years of relentless cruelty since childhood about my obesity. It's just a profound sadness that I feel--a mourning for the life I endured of endless taunting, ridicule, discrimination, etc. It's not that I'm angry at the people who did all this. We cannot control people's actions. This is what society allows. Now that I present as "normal looking" I still mourn for the "me" I've been my whole life.

I love that WLS has allowed me to now have control over my eating habits and my weight for life, but the emotional scars are deep and remain. I have very recently learned that I am NOT crazy to be feeling this way. There is real science that supports that adults who were obese as childen often struggle with this.

I'm glad that you have mental health professionals available if you need them. You may or may not. I'm a strong believer that knowlege is power. The more we are aware of others' experiences, the more prepared we can be for whatever might come our way.

I am four years post-op. My first 3-1/2 years I just totally enjoyed learning my new eating habits, enjoying my new greatly-improved health, having fun buying new clothes, etc. THEN--pow, it just hit me. Don't know why, but never expected to be dealing with this. Fortunately, I have a great mental health team and am working to sort through it all.

Anyhow, if this isn't what you were asking about--sorry, but I hope maybe I came close?

Can't tell by your profile if you've had your surgery, but you've obviously done a lot of research to make your decision. Best wishes to you!