I am a big fat phony failure

[LadyK44 263]

I can't wait to move and change jobs! They'll just assume I always exercise and worked on my health. The weight-loss won't be as extreme and I can just blend in.

Edited June 1, 2015 by LadyK44

[missheidi47 127]

Yesterday was the kids last day of school and so I picked my three kids and two grandkids up early from school. The kids wanted to Celebrate by going to have lunch at Chili's. There was a woman at a table over from us and she could not stop staring at me. It wasn't a flattering kind of stare. It was an OMG how can she be so big stare. Every single time I would look over when and I was taking a bite she would just shake her head in disgust. I wanted to say something so bad but wouldn't with my kids with me. I will be sleeved on June 15th. My two wishes are that a year down the road when I'm healthy that (1) I'm not a skinny b***h like that woman and (2) she is at Chili's again so that I can very politely tell her how insulting and rude her condescending stares truly are.

As if it is any of her business anyway. Unbelievable! I hope she did not have children with her setting that kind of example.

[butterfyeffect 257]

I also feel like a bit of a phony when people ask me how I've lost all the weight. I tell the truth: I lost the weight by eating smaller portions, and exercising more. I just leave out a big piece of the puzzle. I also tell people I've lost about half of what I've actually lost; I usually say 50 pounds, when the reality is closer to 90...

[Babbs 14,681]

I also feel like a bit of a phony when people ask me how I've lost all the weight. I tell the truth: I lost the weight by eating smaller portions, and exercising more. I just leave out a big piece of the puzzle. I also tell people I've lost about half of what I've actually lost; I usually say 50 pounds, when the reality is closer to 90...

Why don't you tell people how much you've really lost? Do you think minimizing it will make people think your weren't as heavy as you were? I mean, what does it matter? I know I was fat. Everyone else knew I was fat. Nothing to hide.

[butterfyeffect 257]

@Babbs

I guess I think if I say I have lost 50 pounds, vs 90 pounds, people will be less likely to guess that I may have had surgery... Like I said, I'm not proud of it, and feel like a phony every time it comes out of my mouth, but at this point I've been lying about it for over a year, so I think it would be even worse to start telling the truth at this point...

[Martene81 383]

I'm newly post op so I haven't had to deal with running into people and having them ask questions about my weight loss but if I did I guess I'm one who doesn't care about sharing what I did to lose weight.

Now don't get me wrong I absolutely feel like it's nobody's business that you've had ANY kind of surgery but generally when people are complementing on how well you look and asking what you did, it's usually for informational purposes...well for me it is, I always wanted to know people's tips and ideas on how to lose weight when I saw they had loss a good amount.

So in that situation I would feel horrible about lying about my surgery and giving tips and tricks that yes I do but let's face it is not the only thing that led to my weight loss. So when people ask I'll just be honest, nothing to be ashamed of. The only thing that I'd be ashamed of is telling one set of ppl something and another set something different then you gotta remember if you told these ppl or oh shoot does he/she talk to this person....way too much! Be proud of your accomplishment no matter what steps you take to get there and don't be afraid to share it ????

[DreamWeaver44 30]

Have you seen all the recent backlash against surgery? It's like "These women lost weight - WITHOUT SURGERY"; like us having surgery somehow invalidates our struggle. Because if they HAD the surgery, they would realize it's still just as hard! I would say maybe harder. It's just a different kind of hard. We still have to watch what we eat, still have to work-out, still have to do all those things. People "think" it's a magic pill.

[chrisredjeep 357]

Maggie409

Revenge will be sweet for you after you get all lovely after your weight loss! How very rude that woman was. She does not know you or your life. Good luck to you

with your op on 15th June. I will be following you in July! All the very best from me here in the UK

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I can't wait to move and change jobs! They'll just assume I always exercise and worked on my health. The weight-loss won't be as extreme and I can just blend in.

I did that! Well, I didn't move, but I did change jobs about 9 months post op. I was about 50 pounds heavier than I am now, but the last 50 came off slowly and those people never knew me as morbidly obese. I do just blend in and I love it! It's just normal.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I've lost over 100 pounds and have been maintaining my loss for over a year. I don't tell people and if anyone cares to make guesses or judge me fat or thin, I too, would happily tell them to suck my ass.

That said, I am missing the "phony" or "failure" part. All joking aside, I don't see what's phony about my accomplishment. I worked hard and I am still working hard to get/stay healthy. Is it much easier than WWs, Adkins, South Beach, etc? Absolutely!! It was much easier having a doctor remove my brain tumor with his expertise than doing it myself with a butter knife, too. That certainly doesn't make me a phony. More importantly, I am NOT a failure. I never have been and I never will be. You don't fail until you give up and obviously, if you are here, you have NOT given up.

[crazyffhfan 44]

haha...I giggled at this. I am only two months post op, lost about 40 pounds so far, but I don't see it one bit. People are telling me at church that they can tell I've lost, but I don't see it yet. Anyway. My coworkers all know what I did, had to take off work to do it. But everyone has been so supportive. I guess I'm fortunate. Hope I don't have to switch jobs or blend in. I've always enjoyed standing out a little.

[MsAshley0307 19]

I was thinking that too at first, but we have to remember it does take exercise and eating less for the procedure to have any success. Some people barely have results with WLS because they didn't their part. Our food is so full of junk it's hard to not be a food addict because they have scientifically designed it so we can be addicted and keep sales up unfortunately. Let's not be ourselves up.

I told myself. Yes I'm big and yes I struggle to get the weight off on my own, but thank God I have options that are safe.

[Ms. Nunya 126]

I needed a laugh!

[lizsal77 22]

I tell them the big secret is having lots of fire works moments with the hubby lol

[missheidi47 127]

I've been up front about my surgery in part because I am an occupational therapist working in an inpatient rehab hospital. My colleagues are other therapists, nurses, doctors, etc, and I knew that with my being out on leave and returning on light duty, along with weight loss people would be concerned about far more serious health problems. Everyone has been supportive, but yesterday I got one of those back-handed compliments. Someone told me, "You're really starting to look good. You've lost a lot of weight." Wait, what? I didn't look good before? I know I look better now, but I "started looking good" about 20 pounds ago! I know he meant well, and I'm not sure he even knows it was surgery because he's not someone I'm close to, or who asked how I'm losing the weight.