What We Don't Want To Hear

[ProjectMe 909]

Someone shared this article from bariatriceating.com that I wanted to share here:

Don’t eat bread! That latte has 35g sugar! No macaroni salad. NO tortillas. No rice.

It won’t last without change

There is no delicate way to say this. We have always set ourselves apart from other bariatric groups in that we don’t look the other way while post ops continue to eat the bad carbs. We try and bring them back to the bariatric reality. We coax you to knock off the Pasta, rice, tortillas or bread and often people get mad or try and justify it. For years we’ve watched people blow through this surgery and they all have the same story. Everyone thinks they are ‘Different’, that they can handle the bad carbs and the sugar (they don’t get sick!) and ‘because they have lost 100 pounds in 7 months they must be doing something right’.

The first hundred pounds is the surgery

Hate to keep making the same point, but your surgery did it, not you. Remember that you are not driving the car for the first year. Eating the same foods that grew you to 300 pounds, but in smaller amounts is not a good long term plan as eventually you will be able to eat larger portions. Ask yourself why eating the same bad carbs would be a good plan. No doctor has advised you to eat the same way post op as you did pre op. Post ops pick this up somewhere, latch on to it and defend it, often to the bitter end of a total regain.

No one fights for broccoli carbs!

It’s not that the bagel will kill you, it’s that these carbs make you hungry. They rapidly turn to glucose and burn… poof, gone, #Lookingformore. They don’t give you any nutrients. They don’t create a feeling of satiety or lasting fullness. The empty carbs work against what you are trying to achieve. If you were arguing for eating salad or green bean carbs, more power to you… but people are trying to hang on to foods without value. If this big argument was for VEGETABLES… well it wouldn’t be a debate as vegetables didn’t make us fat, it was those ‘other’ carbs. Did you ever meet an obese vegetarian and wonder ‘HUH?’… how’d they get obese if they are vegetarian? Same deal… its not the vegetables, its the other stuff… the carbs… the potatoes, bread, macaroni, rice, tortillas and sugar!

Square peg… round hole

Stop looking for slightly better substitutes for bad choices and find new healthier foods to love instead. We keep trying to force that square peg into that round hole. Stop EATING crackers and chips… don’t find ones that you can justify because they have fewer carbs. Enough with the terrible fishy Shirataki tofu noodles. Learn to live without bread and Pasta so it will not call your name. We aren’t changing the behavior or trend if we continue eating them, just slightly shifting it. Before long you’ve got your hand back in the Doritos bag & fork in the Mac and cheese.

Look It’s Protein Cheesecake!

Don’t add Protein to muffins and convince yourself they’re good for you. Stop with the Starbucks Creme Brûlée Lattes because ‘they’re your one indulgence'; they have 500 calories and thin people don’t even drink them. Stay the heck out of Wendy’s. I read an article the other day touting all the ‘good choices’ in fast food restaurants. How about stay out of them. That’s the best choice of all! Why go to the place where you know there is danger. Before you know it, oops… there are fries in your bag!

You know people gain back weight, right?

In our first month of new Facebook Support group I have cried for new members who have gained back all their weight. I am not immune either after fourteen years, three bariatric books and knowing better. When life hit the fan, I comforted my bruises in the way I knew best and it has taken me ten months to lose fifty pounds of it. People are having revisions, a lovely sounding word for a second serious body damaging operation. What will change? Unless there is major change along with that new surgery, won’t it have the same result?

Step away from the bagel!

Own that there was and maybe still is something wrong with your food picker! Use surgery as an opportunity to change, not cheat. I used be bothered by the ‘word on the street’ that we were the carb or food police, but am now proud of it. If you want to promote the virtues of Everything in Moderation while eating half a Subway, there are plenty of groups that will help you do it. If you want to eat right and learn new behaviors to make the feeling of slipping on those skinny jeans last… we have a support group that’s a healthier fit.

Bariatric Surgery IS the easy way out

It’s a personal food cop that is always with us, that helps us push away from the table. We make it hard when we don’t live by the bariatric rules we’ve been given. There is nothing harder then gaining weight back after surgery. There is nothing better than losing it a second time. Control is empowering.

If you need to pick up and start losing again… If you need to work off a regain… it’s not too late and your pouch works just fine if you choose the right foods. Clean those lethal carbs from your life and go back to Bariatric Eating – protein first and lots of fresh salad and vegetables. We’ve got the support for you to make that change!

[Dischord 24]

Reading this article made me pretty genuinely angry. Surgery is absolutely not the easy way out, and my first hundred pounds are only partially the surgery. The other part of it is the vastly different diet I had before surgery (I lost more than 50 lbs pre-op), and then the vastly different diet post-op as I changed my eating habits (20+ lbs gone at last weigh in).

I'm appalled at this article. You're right, it's definitely things we don't want to hear. That said, I didn't have this surgery to cut carbohydrates (especially the right kinds) out of my life forever. There will be times that I know others, and myself down the road will be having types of carbs that they enjoy, at sensible portion sizes, and this article just feels so very.. toxic.

[SuperDave 1,115]

I don't find anything appalling in the article. Seems right on to me. Just my humble opinion.

[Dischord 24]

I think the most appalling thing to me was the last bit about surgery being the easy way out. It certainly makes weight loss easier, but it's definitely not the easy way out. Best example I have is that my sort-of Sister also had the Gastric Sleeve a year ago, and she ate around her sleeve and maintained roughly the same weight she'd been at pre-op, and is now having a revision done. Meanwhile, I'm sticking with it and my weight loss is still dropping. She'd veered off her path as early as one week post-op, and kept at it. So you can definitely eat around the surgery if that's your goal. Meaning it can't be the 'easy' way out, because it takes so many lifestyle and diet changes to maintain proper weight loss and really take advantage of the surgery.

That's a really bad message to give to post and pre-op people who want to have/have had this done. If they underestimate the changes necessary for these types of things to be really effective, they're going to go to their doctors thinking it's a quick fix, and it isn't. It really isn't.

That said, there are a lot of valid points in the article about eating, and types of foods, but it feels like, especially two of the points up there really undermines the achievements and hard work that post-oppers put into losing weight and keeping it off, and all of the work we go through before and after the surgery. Especially the emotional/mental stuff that factors into our weight loss. I just can't agree with those bits.

Edited May 25, 2015 by Dischord

[SuperDave 1,115]

I don't believe the author meant that having bariatric surgery is all you have to do to lose weight. I think they were just saying that it can be very helpful. I lost 150 pounds on my own before surgery. I have lost 85 pounds since surgery. I can say with 100% confidence that it has been easier to lose weight post-op than it was before. In my mind, that makes it the easy way.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I have no sympathy for those who think "I paid for this surgery because I wanted to eat normally." Then they proceed to "eat normally," don't lose weight, and get pissed because surely their surgeons made their stomachs too big.

Some people are so stupid that they think they don't have to eat fewer calories than their body burns to lose weight.

Problem is, you can't fix stupid.

[SuperDave 1,115]

Problem is, you can't fix stupid.

If only there was a surgery for that!

[IcanMakeit 1,318]

Although I agree with what I believe to be the point of this article (that in order to achieve long term success, we have to make permanent changes to our way of eating), I was also put off by some of its assertions. I do not agree that the first 100 lbs lost is all due to surgery. So many people never reach that milestone because they were unable to follow the program set out for them. Losing that much weight takes sacrifice and focus. I don't like hearing anyone diminish this accomplishment.

The other assertion that I don't really agree with is that it's wrong to enjoy substitutes for white carbs. There are many healthy ways to enjoy your Pasta sauce, not just Shirataki noodles, and to me, no reason not to try them.

Unfortunately for me (since I really enjoy carbs), I do agree that I need to severely limit white carbs forever if I want long term success, but I know that not everyone agrees with that.

[slvarltx 332]

My doctor recommended Wendy's chili to me.

[NoBsVs 70]

I'm going to play the devil's advocate and say that I agree with pretty much everything in the article, I'd just never have enough balls to blatantly write it out like that.

I went to my first support group meeting last Thursday and was alarmed to see that there were a handful of sleevers there that had re-gained quite a bit of their weight. My aunt is also currently struggling with keeping the weight off.

I think what happens is that people follow the diet for a while and then perhaps they come online and see other people talking about how they're veering off course and still losing weight and so they use that as justification to start eating the wrong foods again in smaller portions. And sometimes it does work. My cousin who had the surgery said that she lived off of McDonalds cheeseburgers for the first 6 months post-op of her surgery. Guess what, she still lost over 100 lbs. So yes, while some people do have to put in a lot of effort to make their sleeve work for them (particularly the light weighters), a lot of heavier people don't. The restriction on the stomach does it for them.

Having said all that, I think that the "The first hundred pounds is the surgery" saying really depends on where a person started. Someone larger will obviously lose weight faster and with less effort on their part than someone smaller.

Ever since gastric bypass first came out, I've always heard skinny people say that bariatric surgery is the easy way out. At first, I followed that belief too. Then I met someone who had the surgery, and I saw how little she ate, and I thought "Damn, that must be hard." Since then, I've met several other people who have had various bariatric procedures done, and they've always told me how difficult it is. That the surgery is a tool, and you have to put the work in. That the operation was painful and hard to recover from and that new eating habits were hard to adjust to.

Then I had my surgery.

And I have to say, for me, it has been the easy way out. I didn't have any pain post-op, and my recovery has been almost flawless. I'm never hungry, and eating the small portion sizes doesn't bother me at all. I've never done anything easier to lose weight before. Ever. And I've done it all.

So again, I think that particular statement is really based on each individual person's experience. Obviously, for someone who had a difficult recovery, is hungry all the time, and still plagued with cravings, it's not easy.

To each his/her own.

Edited May 26, 2015 by NoBsVs

[jane13 2,256]

@@NoBsVs I feel the same way and like you I have had (so far) a pretty easy surgery and recovery. When was your surgery??? May 2000? I know this is only a tool and I am using my tool for life!

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I mostly agreed with this, too. I don't think the first 100 pounds is just the surgery, though. I do think you could, and people have, sabotaged that wonderful gift of great restriction we get early on.

I strongly agree that people don't want to hear those things. It drives me nuts when people say they are "not on a diet" and won't be ever again. Um, yes we are. And it's forever if we want to maintain our loss. More power to the people who can change their behavior so much that it's just natural for them, but I think the vast majority have to work to maintain.

Having said that, I agree, the surgery set me up for success. It has been and continues to be much easier with the sleeve than without it. In fact, it has been the ONLY way I've been able to lose more than 20 pounds in the last 15 years. I work every day at maintaining my loss, largely by following the rules of bariatric surgery, as the article suggests is the key to success.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I eat tortillas almost every day. I did have sleeve surgery over the others so I could eat as normally as possible without the fear of dumping or productive burping. Unfortunately, even with my sleeve, I got both.

I disagree that we should not be finding substitutes for foods we used to love. Why not? Doesn't adapting old favorites into new healthier options make absolute sense, not only for us but for those we love and cook for? I would much rather my kids eat spaghetti squash as noodles instead of white Pasta. I would much rather my kids eat high Protein greek yogurt over the sugary oreo topped versions. I used to make subs, now I make wraps in low carb, high Fiber (gasp!!) tortillas.

I want them to see me enjoy a mini ice cream sandwich or a kids' scoop of sherbet instead a behemoth sized serving and see that it's perfectly OK to enjoy treats as occasional goodies, not diet staples. Oddly enough (wink wink), they are following my lead.

Yes, this surgery gave me back the gift of good health, but it's also affecting my kids in a very positive manner. That's priceless.

[KalelsWifey 318]

I eat tortillas almost every day. I did have sleeve surgery over the others so I could eat as normally as possible without the fear of dumping or productive burping. Unfortunately, even with my sleeve, I got both.

I disagree that we should not be finding substitutes for foods we used to love. Why not? Doesn't adapting old favorites into new healthier options make absolute sense, not only for us but for those we love and cook for? I would much rather my kids eat spaghetti squash as noodles instead of white Pasta. I would much rather my kids eat high Protein greek yogurt over the sugary oreo topped versions. I used to make subs, now I make wraps in low carb, high Fiber (gasp!!) tortillas.

I want them to see me enjoy a mini ice cream sandwich or a kids' scoop of sherbet instead a behemoth sized serving and see that it's perfectly OK to enjoy treats as occasional goodies, not diet staples. Oddly enough (wink wink), they are following my lead.

Yes, this surgery gave me back the gift of good health, but it's also affecting my kids in a very positive manner. That's priceless.

Very VERY well said and I agree with you whole heartedly! You have a very good idea of how to incorporate healthier habits into your family diet but also room for a little play. This is exactly what I have thought of since I decided and committed to having Gastric Bypass. I never for one minute went thru any delusions that I'll never have a bite of this or that. My surgeon even told me I WANT you to enjoy the things you've always enjoyed but once I've given you the tool to help do it in a portioned and moderate way. I was thankful I found my surgeon bc instead of giving me fear of all the things I couldn't have he helped me to see how I could still incorporate it into my life without gaining all the weight back.

You @@LipstickLady have some great posts and IF your on a computer before I am as I can't from my phone please friend me. I appreciate your posts and think you have a great out look on... Just about everything Thank you.

[NoBsVs 70]

@@NoBsVs I feel the same way and like you I have had (so far) a pretty easy surgery and recovery. When was your surgery??? May 2000? I know this is only a tool and I am using my tool for life!

It lies. lol I'm not sure why it says 2000. I'll have to go back and find where to change that. I actually had my surgery exactly two weeks ago today.