Pre-Op Diet/ Waiting On My Approval

[Beauty+5 14]

Hello everyone! I have been on my weightloss journey off and on for as long as I can remember. Over the last few years I have seen various Bariatric Surgeons and I would do mediocre while I was on their particular program. After a while I would just stop wasting the doctor and my time, and I would just stop going to my apointments. I reached my highest weight of 435 toward the end of last year, when I saw the number on the scale it literally took my breath away. Yet that wasn't my breaking point if you will. It wasn't until early February when I thought I was dying. I had every symptom/ sign of having a heart attack. I have NEVER been so fearful in my life. All I was thinking about was my children, and if I die who will take care of them. After that long visit in the ER and various test I was sent home with no explaination as to what had just happened. I went to see my PCP and he referred me to the Cardioligist. My first visit with the Cardioligist was probably one of the realest talk I had-had in a long time concerning my health. The following weeks I went through a battery of test, I even had to have a heart cath done. Everything was good which was a blessing especially with my morbid obesity, and my severe family history of heart disease amongst other health problems. I made a promise to myself that I would put forth the effort to make the necessary changes to lose the weight. I would find myself doing good for exactly 2 weeks, but then on 2 weeks and 1 day I would find myself indulging in one or more of my old habits/ addictions. These has been a REAL struggle for me. When I say habits/ addiction I'm referring to my craving for fast food/ junk food (mainly soda). I have currently been under the care of my Bariatric Surgeon since March, and I still having a difficult time losing the weight. Again I will do really good for 2 weeks, but then at the 2 weeks and 1 day mark its as if I throw in the towel. Has anyone else struggled like this? My pre-op diet consist of (2) Protein shakes (1) Small salad w/ Lean Protein and (2) sugar free Snacks- Popiscle or Jello. I am literally starving, so this has been my biggest challenge. I'm not going to lie I haven't been following the pre-op plan fully, and naturally it was showing in my weightloss. My doctor says I should be losing 20-30 lbs if not more monthly. Though it may not seem like it, I am trying to conquer my food demon. Its just not going as fast as one had hoped. I am proud of myself though, since my last vist I have lost 10 more pounds making my total 15 now (considering I gained 14.5 back last month). I am still down 15 pounds this month so yes I am proud of myself. The main struggle was finding Protein Shakes that I liked or could tolerate for that matter. I was doing good on the Muscle Milk (pre-made) kind, but I was told I couldn't drink those. As I was browsing the internet I saw where a lady mentioned she uses the EAS AdvantEDGE Carb Control (pre-made), so I deceided to try them for myself. I've been on them for a week and I have to say I doing a lot better then before. I think its mainly because each shake is 100 calories and 17 grams of protein, so in order to get my daily protein intake I can drink up to 5 of the Protein Shakes. Yay!! Now I don't feel deprived or as if I'm starving as much. So now my daily food schedule looks a little something like this: 8:30 am Protein Shake, 11:00 am Protein Shake, 2:00 pm sugar free Jello, around 4:30-5:00 pm Subway-Spicy Itailan salad w/ Vinegar & Oil Blend Dressing (normally I'll eat half to 3/4 of the salad), then around 7:30-8:00 pm I'll eat the rest of the salad & I'll drink another Protein shake (only if I'm REAL hungry). So my daily intake is roughly around 704 calories and around 68 grams of protein. Now looking at this as I'm writing would explain why I am having a good amount of weight loss this week. My doctor originally told me he wanted me to lose 100 pounds before he'd do the surgery, but that REALLY is unrealistic for someone that has been overweight their entire life. If I could lose the weight on my own I would have already. You know? I was talking with my consultant at his office and she said they had recently submitted my paperwork for approval. I was like but I'm no where near the 100 pounds he wants me to lose. She then said "He knows you want be able to lose that much weight on your own, he just wants you to push yourself and try to get a good amount of weight off before the surgery." I am SUPER excited right now! Did I say SUPER? I mean SUPER! Yet I am finding myself nervous as well, I haven't been under 200 pounds since my late teens. I know I still have a long way to go, but it'll all be worth it in the end.