Panic mode venting, surgery soon. Is this normal?

[meyouus 415]

It's three weeks till the big RNY. I thought I had it together, perhaps not?

I don't have the pre-op liquid prep that most do. I'm doing my lung function test tomorrow which I'm scared of. I had pneumonia in late April, then again in early to mid May. The pneumonia is gone, but the cough still remains, for the most part. I have gurgling in my throat, possibly from all the post-nasal drip I keep swallowing. So I PRAY I pass! Im ending my second bottle of Prednisone. And I have been SO FREAKIN hungry! I have lost little since my second NUT visit and I fear pissing off my surgeon. I WANT to eat like there's no tomorrow. Could be side effect of Prednisone? But definitely a panic response. I was SO set and educated about the lifestyle change, And did it successfully, and will continue to do so. But I'm having these panic responses. I'm a revision from Band to RNY. What can I do to fight these very different urges to eat? Can I get away with a last supper here or there, or small cheats? I'm not going to be able, by necessity and CHOICE to eat some of the cravings I'm having for years. That, too, sets me into panic mode.

It's really a tough time for me. A true test of my commitment. I am 48, and am being screened for uterine cancer, tomorrow too. I'm WAY stressed out about that. My Dad, 83, has been in and out of nursing homes and the hospital from complications from Leukemia. A lot more stress to that story. I'm completely broke. But the prize at the end of the tunnel is the RNY on 6/17. IF I pass all the "tests". I will die if it gets postponed. I've been prepping for this moment for years, and now that it's three weeks away, all the stress and panic is brewing in me full force.

I am in shock. I am ready. I am obviously not aware of the test of self, post surgery. My therapist told me psychologically, the shits gonna hit the fan when I can't turn to eating, and food to cope. But then, we've been working on that all along.

I don't know:

Were YOU scared?

Did you cheat?

Do you pull your crap together eventually?

I love you for reading this by the way, thank you! Vent-ology.....

[Djmohr 6,965]

Hi PollyWolly!

First please take a very deep cleansing breath a number of times. I can actually feel your panic and I cannot imagine what that is like for you right now.

If you are truly ready a little relaxation on exercises might help you find your inner peace. Everyone gets nervous before this surgery. It is about to change your life but you are in control!

I am certain the prednisone is probably causing some of your hunger issues. I would suggest you have a Water bottle nearby and start sipping on it every time you get that feeling. You will have to do this post RNY anyway and for the most part it takes care of the hunger pangs.

I would refrain from going back to your old habits of good binging because that could effect your liver very quickly making it very hard to have a successful bypass. It is important that you follow your doctors orders. If sipping on Water don't help, make some good quality homemade chicken broth. The salt and savory is very comforting and Reall slowed down my hunger when I was on a 10 day liquid only preop diet.

Don't let the stress of everything going on sabotage you. You can do this, you need to focus on the good habits that you should be going.

Go for lots of walks, stick to your high Protein low carb diet and drink tons of fluids. Read a book, take a bath, listen to some beautiful music and daydream what your life will be like as you get healthier!

You are almost there!

[meyouus 415]

Djmohr, Bless you for putting the positive before the negative, pressing me to see the good in this cloud. As part of my faith, we meditate, visualize, chant, pray, all for the centering and mindfulness of self in the here and now. It is also something we do in therapy. You reminded me to go back to my roots and focus. Thank you.

I think I'll still be having those uncomfortable cravings to eat because, while I PASSED the lung function test, the doc was not pleased with what he heard in my lungs, garbage. He put me on another month of Prednisone. And an antibiotic as well as some prescription nose spray. I still have that darn lung infection , from the pneumonia. Damn! I realized I have a whole month till surgery, to get better. I see my pulminologist in two weeks, to see if I sound better. Then the next day I see my PCP. Then it's off to the races!

But still, I am concerned about cheating. I've decided I could be a little less rigid, but not off the wagon. I have to learn to forgive myself while completely turning around my life. I am not panicking today. One day at a time! ????.

I drink A LOTTTT! And yes, it helps. Not the same but it helps. I can do this! But I'm certain I'll be back on bariatricpal , nervous and afraid, again. It's natural.

Thank you so much for re-alligning me. I needed that. And you weren't mean, some people can be so mean.

Blessed Be

[Mobeans63 32]

Great advice, @djmohr...Hang in there, @pollywolly--you are definitely fighting a beast with the prednisone-hunger and weight gain are know side effects.

[meyouus 415]

I will be re-reading this thread, believe me.

I have great news! My Uterine biopsy came back negative! No cancer!!! And I passed the pulmonary function test, however, my lungs are still gurgling, so Dr put me back on Prednisone and a few other meds. I go back in two weeks to see if I've cleared up.

THANK YOU both for your loving care. I needed a way to ground myself, bad. I've been doing mini meditating, a lot of prayer and even more hard work. I WILL get through this, with a little tenacity, hard work, education, patience (the hard part) and bariatricpal. I also need to mention I have the support of work, and my incredibly awesome husband. Oh, my equally as awesome therapist. Oh, and I also attend, though not recently, Eating Disorders Anonymous (EDA).

PVTA