Feeling helpless

[KellyKub 0]

Hello everyone! I am 34 years old and have had my band since August, 2007. I've had a few complications throughout my banding. I was having a lot of pain at first, I wasn't eating because everything made me throw up. I won't get into all the details but after switching doctors, they found that my port was infected internally. So, after surgery to remove the port and replace it, I started with some weight loss. Shortly after I became pregnant with my now 3yr old daughter. Not only have I put on weight, I've put on more weight that I ever thought humanly possibly. I used to tell my friends, if I ever get that big, shoot me. Well, I am that big now. I've been back to my surgeon for a fill. He won't fill me. He says I need to do a food log for a while and then we will reconsider. Everyday I have good intentions. I am over 400lbs and I fell like if I don't do something, I'm going to die. My Mom said it best, I was waiting for divine intervention and it never happened. She is a gastric bypass patient. I need some support. Of course I can talk to my family but I get easily irritated when they say you need to do this or you need to do that. I know what I need to do, doing it is the hard part. Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way!

[catfish87 3,471]

@@KellyKub

I read your posts from back in 2009.

You were ready to have it removed then, but haven't had an adjustment in 6 years?

Does your current surgeon use fluoroscopy to check your band when you see him?

When was the last time you seen him?

It's no secret you're eating too much to lose weight.....you didn't really need the doctor to tell you that! If I were you, I'd be considering a couple things. WHY isn't your band helping control your food intake? Also, where is a different surgeon if he isn't willing to help you?

Adjustment of the lapband is so important, IMO. Not something that is best done blindly....

Best wishes!

[Miss Meg 199]

KellyKub, I can't imagine the anguish and frustration that you are feeling. I'm sure your surgeon has your best interest in mind with wanting you to do a food log. How long do you need to keep it for? Maybe that is the best solution because it will get you to the point where he is happy to give you a fill and for you to continue on your weight loss journey. Keep reminding yourself that this whole process is for you and to better your health and wellbeing.

Please don't give up the fight, you and your family are worth it.

[KateP 359]

I think you have made the first step by coming back here.

IMO your doctor is being unhelpful! You are obviously eating too much so I can't see a food log is helpful! But if that is what he wants, do it! You need that fill. You may also need a barium swallow just to check the band and also the Fluid withdrawn to check the current volume.

Did he say why he wouldn't give you a fill?

[lisacaron 5,075]

@@KellyKub I am sorry you had a rough start in this journey. A few complications and the blessing of your daughter. 3 years later, and your band is waiting for you.

I understand the reason for not wanting to do a fill, and asking you to keep a food journal for a bit. It's a way to be accountable. You know what you are eating and sure you know how you got to the weight you are at. So now you need to know if you want to make a turn and work on getting that 180 degree about face and lose the weight.

Is it going to be easy? No it's not. Is it going to be fast? No it's not. Is it going to require you to work hard and be 100% honest with yourself? Yes it is. Is it going to be painful and emotional and occasionally break you down to tears? Yes my friend it is. Can you do this? YES you can!!

The biggest questions are do you WANT to do it? and are you ready to do it? If you tell me YES, then honey start the dang food journal.

You are banded...so start from day one! As if you just got your band. I do this when I lose my way. I will do liquids for a bit and then move through the stages.

First, call that Dr. and tell them, yes TELL them you want at least a Fluro to check the band if not an upper GI Endoscopic exam to make sure that all is well. Then practice being a bandser again, and when you do that for a week or so go back to that Dr. and say you are ready for a fill. Then go slow and go back monthly and keep track of your hunger and when your ready start getting some exercise in there. You can do this, and you are not alone. We are all here...going through our own gambits and trying to reach or maintain our health.

Ready to join us?