Here we are.... now what?!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Rog, you have my support to gain 4 healthy pounds slowly.

And like you, I am not in the mood to eat crap (ice cream, chips, etc) to stop losing. Not in the mood at all!

For my part, I'm trying to eat more whole grains than I did while losing. And I'm now eating 1,400 calories/day most days.

Yea, me!

[Rogofulm 2,440]

@@Kindle, I'm so sorry for your loss. But I'm so glad to hear that you're focusing your grief in a positive way rather than trying to manage your feelings through food. That's a momentous change, I imagine, and you should be very proud.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@Kindle ... I'm thinking about you, too. Please reach out if I can be of any help to you.

[Kindle 8,667]

Thanks guys, this is definitely a change for me considering how I handled my brother's death. I spent over a year in a drunken stupor and gained 50 pounds. I figured I need a plan B this time around since none of the food or alcohol made me feel better anyways.

I guess I've just resigned myself to the fact that I am going to feel this way no matter what. it takes all my willpower to just get up, go to work, and try to function when all I want to do is curl up and cry. (Actually had an anxiety attack, couldn't breathe and nearly passed out in the shower this morning). Continuing to visit and post on BP is one of my many attempts to try and be "normal".

His wife has arranged for counseling for their son and both of us are looking at grief counseling for ourselves. I thought losing my brother was hard, but a suicide takes all this shit to a whole other level. For the first time in my life I've encountered a state of mental anguish that I just don't know how to begin to deal with. (Other than to keep cleaning....it's my new obsession!)

Sorry for the hijack but Thanks for letting me rant.

[hatemornin 2]

I am certainly glad I found this group, I had complete gastric bypass on 8/31/2010, I have lost a total of 165#. Keeping it off an staying healthy is hard, I have other health issues which restrict my exercise so that is a problem, I watch what I eat an when I eat, I try to eat clean, no fat, less processed foods. I am Lucky to live in the country an I raise my own beef an pork, all natural, I have chickens an I use to raise my own veggies just can't handle the garden anymore. But I buy fresh an can as much as possible during the summer months so that I can have fresh all year long. I also have chickens, an lots of fruit trees. Y'all are an inspiration! 8 years out an still maintaining!!!!Wow

[kickboxlvr 23]

i am so sorry to hear about your loss! that has got to put a wrench in things. I am glad you are now focusing on yourself again.

I too feel that anything around 130 for me makes me look sick. i have a hard time remembering that when I graduated high school i was 115!!! I look back at that picture and see what my step mom seen at the time. She always thought I was too thin back then. I was noticing a recent picture that showed my collar bones. I never knew them to look disfigured. I of course have always been musclular (maybe thats why i didn't) and I have lost a lot of muscle as well. I try not to think about it because i would probably go on an ice cream binge!

As far as ketosis is concerned.. you used to be able to buy strips that you could test your urine with to be able to tell if you were in that state... haven't seen them in a while.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@Kindle

I wish this hadn't happened and you and your friend's family and other friends weren't having to deal with this aftermath.

I strongly encourage you to see a grief counselor. And I hope like hell that she/he is a good one. You may remember I'm seeing a shrink related to my self-care issues. He's been a tremendous help.

I'm not saying we shouldn't feel bad when we feel bad. But I think in a situation like you're in it's dangerously possible to get stuck in an emotional eddy and just swirl round and round there for a lot longer than we need to before managing to get back into the main life current (weird metaphor, sorry).

Anyway, I hope you can find someone you can relate to who is a very good therapist. I'm the toughest b***h you haven't met yet, and I'm not too tough to recognize and appreciate the support I've had from my therapist. Sometimes we need an external perspective and some better tools to deal with bad s**t.

Ann

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

@@Kindle, I am so sorry for your loss. I remember not seeing your comments on the boards for a while and wondering if you were ok. Of course, I was too consumed with my own surgery to check.

I agree with the idea of grief counseling. I attended a grief counseling group at my church when I lost a family member and it was very helpful.

Without food as a crutch, any strong emotion can seem magnified and unmanageable. There is help available.

Sending his and prayers.

[Invictus 56]

I have bern wondering about what the future will be like after WLS. In 10-15 years, what will life be like? I think I am questioning my decision because I hate change, it's easier to stay fat. But then I am embarrassed at how out of shape I am and what a poor example I am for my students. I have aches and pains that can only be from carrying 150 extra pounds. The final straw is seeing my mom and dealing with her health issues and keeping track of the 15 prescriptions she is on as a result of her obesity. Not sure if this is the right forum for this post. I know the weeks leading up to and right after surgery are going to be challenging to say the least, but for loooong term life and health, is it worth it?

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@Invictus ...

I can't believe you're 150 pounds overweight, and you wonder if it's worth it?

I have lost 89 pounds (am now at goal), and a year ago I could hardly move. Now weighing 146 pounds and 4 pounds below goal, I honestly do not understand how I survived being that heavy. For the record, I had become a nearly helpless agoraphobic. Today, I cleaned my house from top to bottom, lifted weights for an hour, did an hour-long challenging yoga class, walked for exercise and had a delicious and romantic dinner date at a beautiful restaurant tonight with my husband.

Just so you know -- today is typical of how my life is many times better than it was a year ago. It's astonishing how much more engaged I am in life.

If you want to live a full life, instead of struggle to make it through the day, please have this surgery. Please. And while you're losing weight please do what you need to do to conquer the demons that brought you to this point. The surgery will help you lose weight. But you have to build new habits and tools to help yourself keep the weight off.

You don't have to live like this.

[Invictus 56]

@@VSGAnn2014

Ann, thank you for your reply. I know this is what I must do to have a better life. Still curious as to what life will be like years down the road. Regardless if I have to count every calorie for the rest of my life, it has to be better than right now! I think I am just getting nervous about the waiting game and insurance hoops . Trying to think that next year, the ending of the school year should not be so exhausting and daunting!

[Tasha R Evers 1]

I am just now getting to where I need to maintain. I am still slowly loosing..I needed to stay at 170 at least for 6 months to get started on Tummy Tuck. see dr in august after 4 months of holding between 170 to 175..but nooo i am now 166 and dropping again..so now i think im going to see how much im gonna be in august and go from there i guess but maintaining is hard.

[KateP 359]

@@Invictus I'm nine years down the line, not quite ten! What's my life like?

Well, I am slim. Not quite as slim as I was two years post-op. I have never in all my time in this and another much busier board come across anyone who after six or seven years didn't have to work at staying slim! But I still wear US size 10 which at age 64, 5' 4" tall and a stocky build us absolutely fine. I am physically active and in good health.

The majority of the time, I don't worry about what I eat. I don't eat much of it and I thoroughly enjoy what I do eat. Like all those people who appear to be "naturally" slim, food is part of my life but not all of it. My relaxed approach means the pounds do creep on and then I go on a relatively short period of very careful eating.