Where do the Veterans go ?

[B-52 7,113]

Been on this forum a while....I did leave for a while, about a year....it started to get to me and I had enough.

When I first had my surgery, and found this site, (Lapband Talk)...there were many veterans I considered my mentors, and followed their personal testimony's with interest...

But they are all gone......left.

I noticed there are many other people who are doing well that just "Drop off the Radar"...did they have a major setback? Failure?

Speaking from own feelings, I don't think so......bottom line, successful people simply do not fit in here, and don't have much in common....other than once upon a time they were beginners also.

*****I am 100% successful...lost ALL possible weight.

*****I finished this weight loss journey...done ...completed...reached my destination with a new life, a new outlook on what and how I eat, along with a love of exercise....

*****I have no hunger, no cravings, could care less about food or eating...a complete reversal from pre-surgery days.

*****I will never Diet again, I eat what I want, NOT avoiding life's pleasures such as ice cream, Beer/alcohol, chips, etc, etc.

*****I have no fear of overeating, the band sees to that...I have tried to overeat and find it impossible...does not matter where I'm at, vacation, a party, holiday dinner, venues may change but my surgery is a constant.....

*****As a person with Lap band surgery, I cannot comprehend the notion of "Getting off track"....or the need to re-focus and start over....as long as the band does not have any issues,. I have NO FEAR of ever gaining the weight back!

******I have NEVER had a single issue with my band...the beginning "learning Phase" was tough, VERY Tough...but once that was past, it has been the EASIEST thing I could have ever done.....I don't even think about it!

Bottom line, ALL my medical issues ( and there were many) have all been reversed or gone....I did have a heart attack, and that damage to the heart muscle is permanent..but tests show new arteries have branched out by-passing the damaged one...

I can on and on......

Having said all the above, sounds pretty good, right? YET...in a environment of negativity, I'm the odd ball here....I'm the one who has to make excuses...TOTALLY out of sync.

So why stick around? Because of all the negativity I feel SOMEONE has to stay in place and show people that this can and does work....

YET, by simply sharing your own life story, it hurts other people's feelings? They feel bullied???

It's no wonder successful veterans move on.

It got to me once and I left for a while, and it's starting to get to me again...

I see patients and families everyday in Clinic who are experiencing catastrophic medical situations, 10 times worse than anyone here is experiencing...(best of my knowledge) and I deal in Pediatrics so I see kids as early as 12 months old, whose lives will never be easy..... and yet I do not find anywhere as near, if any, negativity as is found on this forum....

It's crazy....either you want it or you don't....

[ProjectMe 909]

@@B-52 Real quick...cause I'm going to be late, but just wanted to say that I hear you and agree. I wish there was a forum specifically for those who actually follow the plan or whose level of commitment is unwavering for the most part. Ive also found that some of the folks/vets that stick around are really negative & as we know...negativity is contagious. Peace & blessings

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Your voice is very needed here. I understand what you're saying but I sure hope you stay.

I think online everything can be such a mixed bag. If not for the anonymity of forums such as this, I wouldn't have had the courage to share my struggles and my frustrations, much less the emotional rollercoaster I'm living with my divorce. However, that same anonymity fosters a culture of hit-and-run. People feel free to slam others without repercussions. Long time vets and newbies alike don't get the pause before the reply that they deserve.

Part of the problem is phone apps. No kidding. I use my iPhone for nearly all my BariatricPal posting and rarely go to my PC anymore. The problem with that is that I never see the person's bio or stats along with their name. Another problem is that I don't know what forum I am in. It's just a side effect of the way the app works. I see notifications but if I looked at them on my PC instead of my phone, it would show me the person's signature, ticker, surgery type, etc. None of which is immediately easy visible on the phone app.

I hope you stay but you don't owe that to anybody. Just know that you've helped a lot of people (me for sure) and are a breath of fresh air in a crazy, impersonal world.

[KateP 359]

Good gracious! I don't see negativity, I see support from all sides. I see the sharing of experiences. I see the honest expressions of differences in outcomes and in eating behaviours.

Example. You keep your band tight. I don't, a tight band works for you and you tell people that. A tight band frightens me and I tell people that. Our experiences and therefore our posts are different,

People reading aren't morons. They know neither you nor I, nor anyone here is the expert!

If you really want to see negativity, go on the other main Wls board (dont think we are allowed to post links to other boards) - there there is not just negativity but downright hostility to bands. Virtually all the banded people there are actually ex-banded! That's why I have started spending time over here. I have lots of long term friends there and so still post but not about band issues as none of them still have bands.

Sharing problems s just as supportive as sharing trouble-free experiences.

[Rizzle01 54]

I am very new here and just got banded this year. When I see your posts I pay attention. I hope you stay around! You seem to be a voice of reason.

[Bandista 7,466]

The ex-banders are so vociferous in their posts -- I find that very off-putting (stop scaring me with your one bad experience!) and of course I worry about new people who are just trying to get info. I'm very glad there was Lapband Talk when I was researching as I was able to see the whole gambit. I found the successful people and followed them. That's you, B-52. We need a thread for banders -- CG had one going for so long but she's not on here anymore. Just a place to check in and say hey, I'm going to the gym or whatever. Successful banders not defending our choices but just the day-to-day.

[KateP 359]

Seems I am in the minority here! I really seem to have missed all these negative veterans! All I see is people asking for advice/sharing of experiences. Should people who have problems not post? Should I not say I had to have a leak repair? Should I keep quiet about the fact I have had a few episodes of regain? Is it unkind of me to say, completely truthfully, that most of the banded when I was in 2006 no longer have their bands? Or that many doctors no longer offer banding as an option?

I love my band, it does just what I hoped and need! But I am not going to pretend bands are miracle cures and work for everyone who follows the rules!

[kathousefl 62]

Hi B-52,

I also have seen some negativity. I tend to lurk more than actually post.

You and I have not gone about our weight loss and maintenance the same way, which is why I like to read your posts :-).

I have noticed criticism though from others who tend to make it sound like reducing caloric intake and avoiding certain types of foods are bad things, so I do not post very often. I do see your point though about posting and letting people know this does work and that there is more than one method to stick to the plan. I hope you continue to post.

[dewyjune 0]

I got my band 3 weeks ago, no fill yet. I look for positive outcomes like yours! Yes, there are many more that seem negative but I just think a lot of the negative ones are just asking for advice or help. I have learned a lot of what NOT to do reading negative posted. So I guess in that sense they've been helpful.

[kwcrnp 63]

@@B-52, Bandista and Kate P - the three of you are my mentors! Yes each if you have a slightly different twist on living with a band but we are all different and one persons way may not be a perfect fit for someone else.

When I read your posts or comments it always make me think, process and apply that info into my own life. I've seen some negative things as well but no forum will ever be all positive. I have learned some "what not to do" from those posts too!

I hope you and the other successful banders stay....we newer people need you and your input is truly appreciated!!

[newmein2015 13]

I have read several of your posts,B-52, and you are so inspiring! You have made me see what I need to work toward. Your advice is awesome! Please don't take that encouragement away from us that listen because of some negative people! Your story is an inspiration to me and so many others!

[Mands15 8]

Please don't leave us newbies to our own devices!!!

[Julie norton 2,850]

I truly appreciate the long term banders sharing info .... Even if we have very different experiences.

I gleen a lot ideas and opinions here and I am thankful.

Just passing 8 1/2 years this week and still thrilled with long term (KEY WORD) weight loss

Thanks to all

[Soonergal91 20]

B-52

I have only been here about a week. Everything that you post is so motivational to a newbie. Thanks for sticking around!