Trying to get my head straight. Input requested :)

[sweetie716 270]

Hey everybody, I'm feeling kind of down lately, and I'm wondering if anyone else went through this and what got them through. I just hit my 5 month mark on Monday. My highest weight ever was 331, the day of surgery I was 281, and I'm now 201. I've been a strict rule follower, Protein, chewing, separating food and fluids, exercising every day, etc. I got a lot of milage out of these first months out of surgery. However, the last week or two there have been a handful of days that I didn't hit the 64 oz Fluid goal, and I have missed some Vitamins as well. Because I'm on thyroid medicine, I have to take that in the morning, then Calcium in the afternoon, and finally my Iron multi before bed. The toughest one for me to remember is the Calcium because it's at work and things get so hectic during the day. I'm really good with the other two.

Anyway, there are a couple of things that are going on with me I think and I just want to see what you guys have to say about how to move through any of these. Not always following all the rules by missing a couple glasses of Water or missing a Vitamin dose makes me feel like I'm slipping. I hate that feeling. It's a scary feeling because it feels like a short step to my old 'all or nothing' type of thinking. I hope that I can deal with this and stop that kind of thinking (I honestly don't see myself just giving up and eating junk or anything), but it does really bug me when I didn't do everything right for the day.

Second, things have started to slow down. I was hitting at least 15 pounds a month for the first 4 months, and this month I hit 13. I know that's awesome, but it really disappointed me when I didn't make the goal I set for myself this month. It's also not helping that I'm hanging out right above a major accomplishment of hitting the 100's. It feels soooooo slow.

I sometimes feel fat, which is not how I expected to feel after losing 130 pounds. Don't get me wrong, I often feel great about how I look comparatively and there are many things which are so much improved and easier (like today I sat in the backseat of a car with two co-workers without worrying if I was encroaching on someone else's space, yay!). I don't really get why I have this new body criticism, when I made the best of what I looked like before. I was telling my husband how I was feeling last night, but he did not get it. He asked if I was re-gaining weight and when I said I was still losing I don't think he understood or knew what to say because the conversation just dropped. Maybe it's a girl thing, I don't know. I figured if anybody would understand my bariatricpals would.

Well, this turned long really quickly. If you have any insight or want to tell me what helped you through any of these things, please tell me. Is this down feeling just a phase? Right now things are crazy busy at work with the end of the school year coming up. I just want to keep going and keep losing until I get to goal in 61 pounds TIA!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Congratulations, from where I sit (3 weeks post-sleeve) you seem to be doing great. I am on the opposite side of your issue, trying to establish routines that remind me of my Vitamins and Water. The only thing I can suggest related to your vitamins is to set a reminder alarm on your phone and/or connect it to another regular activity.

[sweetie716 270]

Thanks! I guess part of why it bothers me is because I had been doing great with the Water and Vitamins for months and then in just the past week or two I've been having trouble. So it feels like going backwards and it is scary that everything was going along and then it happened several times very quickly. It sucks to think, what if 4 or 8 years down the road I get off track with the food part. I'm scared of regaining.

[sharonintx 1,275]

You aren't going backwards:) You are doing a great job and if you recognize that you've slipped a time or two then you've almost won the battle. Your weight loss couldn't possibly keep up at the same pace as it was the first few months. You'd dry up and blow away. Your body has worked extremely hard in recovering from surgery and from losing a lot of weight real fast. You are right where you should be.

Sometimes when I forget to take my Vitamin I spend the rest of the day worrying that my hair will start falling out or that some other horrible thing will happen. Silly isn't it? Just today I went in the store to look for some pants. Causes a huge problem. I've waited all these years to simply shop in the regular size section and now that I can I never find anything I want. I still wander over to the plus size and wonder why all the clothes look so big. I have 3 pairs of size 12 pants. They are too loose. So today when I saw some capri pants that were cute, what size did I pick up??? A 12. I put them back and studied the size 10 for a good while. Then I bought them. Now I'm convinced that after I wash them there's no way it will fit. I look in the mirror and see just as much fat as ever.

Haha. It's funny in a way. But just know that you aren't alone. I guess we all go through it to some extent. The fact is that neither you or I are near a big as we once were. Others see it! We look good girl - don't worry too much. You are doing just great.

[ProjectMe 909]

@@sweetie716 I am a thyroid cancer survivor and have to take my thyroid med everyday for the rest of my life. I totally get what you're saying in regards to the "Vitamin timing". I take my thyroid med @ 5:30am, 2 of my Calcium tabs before I leave the house at 6:45am. I keep my Multivitamin in my desk at work and take it at lunchtime, then I take the other 2 calcium tabs before bed.

I've read that 4 hrs is the optimal time to wait before taking Vitamins. My Endo and my recent blood work says my regimen is working just fine as my thyroid levels and Vitamin levels are great. Also, there have been plenty of times where I've forgotten my Vitamins and still my bloodwork is great, so I wouldn't worry too much unless your bloodwork shows a deficiency.

Regarding the feeling fat...been there & still struggle with it. It's called body dysmorphia, and it's something I need to work on. But I'm a work in progress and my mind will catch up to my body changes in time.

About things slowing down...things haven't really slowed much for you in my opinion. A couple of pounds could be anything (constipation, Water retention, etc.). I once stayed at the same weight for 3 weeks. Keep calm & breathe, you are doing great!

[princess20 60]

Thanks! I guess part of why it bothers me is because I had been doing great with the Water and Vitamins for months and then in just the past week or two I've been having trouble. So it feels like going backwards and it is scary that everything was going along and then it happened several times very quickly. It sucks to think, what if 4 or 8 years down the road I get off track with the food part. I'm scared of regaining.

Stop beating yourself up because you are doing great! This weight loss journey plays games with all of our minds. I have a bad habit of saying I "only lost 43 pounds" then I catch myself. I was losing zero pounds prior to making the decision to have the surgery. We all have to be kind to ourselves and forgive ourselves. None of us is perfect, yet all of us are very brave. Onward!