Feeling negative & doubtful. Need buddies and support!

[jordantaylor 51]

Hi All,

My surgery is the 26th and I'm fighting a lot of anger, mostly that I have to give up a crutch that has served me during hard times but has no place in my life anymore. I'm also sad because I feel like I've failed in some way-after all, WLS is a "last resort"-I feel a bit backed into a corner.

I am HATING a the liquid diet. I already switched Protein powders because my stomach is so sensitive, but sometimes I just feel like I can't tolerate any more Protein so I'll eat a little something like veggies or salad. I think it's better this way than to make myself feel totally awful then end up binging.

So, sorry for the pessimism. While all of the above is true for me, its also true that I feel optimistic for the first time in a while and I feel like I've started to come alive again, even if a lot of the emotions are painful and/or negative. I hope this makes sense.

I think it's really easy sometimes to get wrapped up in success stories and before and after pictures and look at it all through the happy lense in your mind, only to realize the really difficult parts and hard work that's coming up and get grumpy about it all again!

I am someone who has struggled with emotion regulation and anxiety, and I'm proud to say at this point I'm skilled enough at keeping my moods at bay (through very helpful treatment with a doc and a therapist) that I feel grounded enough to take this on. I know I'm going to get through it fine, but sometimes it sucks. Right now I'm really learning how to find peace inside instead of through food, cigarettes, or other addictions.

So, just needed to vent, thanks for listening. Any pearls of wisdom or support are greatly appreciated!

Good luck to everyone else whose surgeries are coming up!

[Jewelgirl04 106]

Hi there! I went through something similar to you and then in the first two weeks post-op. I'll be honest, the first two weeks after surgery are the hardest. Between the discomfort, pain (mine was probably a 3 on the scale once they got me on painkillers and I was able to stop taking them all together by day 5), difficulty in finding a comfortable position to sleep, and the liquid diet, it was rough. But it gets better.

There isn't a day that goes by now (a little short of four months later) that I don't say this was the best decision I ever made. If you had vision troubles, would you deny yourself glasses because you needed the help? If you had an illness that required medication, would you deny yourself that?

For people like us sleevers, we have an emotional dependence on food... sometimes food addiction. This is what helps us.

You don't have to tell anyone about your surgery. It's a personal choice. I only told a few close friends, my parents, and sister. I never told my older sibling or my classmates, even though I was out of law school for two weeks.

My point is that you should not beat yourself up over the fact that you need this surgery. You are making the conscious choice to get healthier and that's more than I can say for a lot of people. And more than they can say for themselves.

Trust me, having to constantly donate clothes and buy new jeans/shirts or shop in my closet for my skinny clothes is one of the greatest feelings in the world.