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I also feel that by bringing it up you may make her feel uncomfortable. I think encouraging her to walk with you or cook a healthy meal with you can make her feel more open to asking you questions about WLS or at least make her feel less attacked. I never liked when people ( including my dr.) mentioned my weight. I knew I was fat and it made me defensive. Sadly most people need to hit their personal " rock bottom" before they seek help. Good luck to her & congrats on your success

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This is truly the toughest to deal with because you know that a surgical intervention would definitely help and prolong her life.

For me it took another crappy health diagnosis of stage 3 kidney disease but it was in fact that specialist who told me I was looking at dialysis and an early death. He asked me one simple question: have you ever considered weight loss surgery?

That was what it took for me to immediately begin working down this path.

I would say I felt absolutely miserable at this stage and probably could have died from a heart attack at any time.bthank goodness my heart was actually still in good shape.

I was absolutely ready and it worked for me.

I know as everyone else that if a family member had brought up this idea I would have done the exact opposite. All you can do is be supportive and hope she gets ready before it is too late.

God bless you and your family.

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I hope the stars line up and she finds the worthiness to choose herself and her health but meanwhile she is very lucky to have a sister like you. So many of us struggle with issues around deserving happiness. I had no idea until after WLS that this would be such a change in my life. I didn't know how unworthy I felt. That has all changed and I'm so grateful.

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Before I decided on WLS, my Mom who had lost 80lbs on WW and has kept it off for 20 yrs, asked my teenage dgt to talk to me about my wt. I was furious with my Mom but knew that my dgt was simply put in the middle and I worked hard to not be negative with her. I was very defensive with my Mom though!

But, the talk did sink in and eventually I decided on LB surgery. I only told my dgt. She was so supportive through the 5 mon of lifestyle changes and I only told my Mom once I had a date for surgery. Needless to say, both have been very supportive post-op.

It's very hard not to get defensive when approached by family.

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    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

    • Jenopolis

      Had a sleeve in 2017, lost over 100 pounds. Had a DS surgery this year (2025) for more sustainable weight loss. 🤞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      The 14th was my day. I am home and recovery is going pretty smooth. They even let me walk out of the hospital. Picture of me in recovery curtesy of my boyfriend lol. 

      · 3 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Glad it went well!! Wishing you a speedy recovery and wonderful success!! 🤗

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

      3. Selina333

        Neat you have a pic of this day! I was sooo happy to get my surgery. It was well worth it! And I'm not even near my goal. I had surgery Dec. 2!

    • Alisa_S

      Bought a treadmill and some 5 lb weights. Time to get off my butt and get moving!
      · 1 reply
      1. DaisyChainOz

        That's a great choice! 😊

    • DaisyChainOz

      Surgery done!  Really looking forward to the next chapter 🥳😁
      · 3 replies
      1. GreenTealael

        Congratulations!!🎉

      2. Bugzy46

        Congrats

      3. Alisa_S

        Fantastic! Best of luck to you & I hope you're healing nicely & not having much pain!🙏

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