why oh why oh why?????

[areellady 1]

YES GREEN!!! I love it. He is just the intimidating, overpowering, "I AM THE RULER" type that no one can say anything too. BUT, I am going to have to I guess. I think I will tell him next time that if she wants to go riding, I am sure she can do it anytime that she would like on her own. NO, NO, AND NO....I won't. I won't say anything but nod my head and look away and wish for a quick exit. I know that he made a comment about how pretty soon I am going to look like Twiggy and THAT would not be good. HELLO!!! I CAN LOOK ANYWAY THAT I WANT!!! I just hate that I can't stand up to him and tell him NO!! I am NOT going to take your wife. YOU TAKE HER!!! Maybe its time to stay away from them for awhile so I don't have to worry about the stress. Deanna

[green 6]

YES GREEN!!! I love it. He is just the intimidating, overpowering, "I AM THE RULER" type that no one can say anything too. BUT, I am going to have to I guess. I think I will tell him next time that if she wants to go riding, I am sure she can do it anytime that she would like on her own. NO, NO, AND NO....I won't. I won't say anything but nod my head and look away and wish for a quick exit. I know that he made a comment about how pretty soon I am going to look like Twiggy and THAT would not be good. HELLO!!! I CAN LOOK ANYWAY THAT I WANT!!! I just hate that I can't stand up to him and tell him NO!! I am NOT going to take your wife. YOU TAKE HER!!! Maybe its time to stay away from them for awhile so I don't have to worry about the stress. Deanna

I had a FIL like that once. I finally lost it with him and pounded my fist on the table and bellowed "you are not my father! I don't have to take orders from you!" He was shocked but after that we got along quite well. My MIL from that era ragged on my about not ironing my husband's shirts. I was working as much as he was and I said so. And then I pointed out that he wasn't handicapped as far as I could see. (To tell you the truth I hate ironing and never do it. I just tell people that I want my clothes to have more wrinkles than my face. :heh:)

It does seem to me that you are having difficulty standing up to the old man and so perhaps you should stay away from in-laws for awhile. On the other hand, ask yourself what would happen if you did stand up to him. Would there be a fight? Or would he simply process the new information? Remember, the in-laws have more to lose if the relationship between themselves and your young family goes sour. Maybe you figure out a strategy with your husband? This is just a suggestion.

[areellady 1]

I have stood up to him on a number of occasions and it gets me NOWHERE but ignored by them, which in turn they igore my hubby...which pisses me off.....lo and behold...she called this morning and invited us to a family bbq tonight. I HATE the thought of going, but for DH sakes I am afraid I will. I am just going to ignore him or say...you know, you would probably feel a lot better yourself if you got a bike and rode with MIL, and she would much rather ride with you than with me!! I don't know...just get sick of trying to PLEASE everyone and end up pleasing NOONE...Deanna

[green 6]

I don't know...just get sick of trying to PLEASE everyone and end up pleasing NOONE...Deanna

It does sound like you have got some irritating parents-in-law on your hands! :paranoid It is probably best to stay out of their reach. Anyway you can avoid the bar-b-que tonight?

[areellady 1]

Well, went to the bbq and in laws were having a squabble I guess, since they didn't talk to anyone much. FIL ate and then went inside to watch tv. MIL talked to us SIL's and no one else knows in the family so MIL didn't bring it up. One of my SIL's kept telling me how beautiful I was getting, but no one said anything about my weight loss. I don't know if they secretly know???? and were told NOT to let me know they know??? I don't know, but last time I saw them I was 50 pounds heavier...how could they really not notice.....oh well, if they know they are doing a good job not letting me know they know... Deanna

[green 6]

Sounds like the beautiful comments were code for "you have been losing weight and you look great!" That is a nice compliment and an excellent NSV. Enjoy.

[areellady 1]

Awe, thanks green. I didnt really think of it that way. Thanks..Deanna

[Marimaru 7]

"uh, look old man; I ride 10 miles for myself. If she wants to join me, she knows when I'm going and where I'll be. That's where my responsibility on the subject ends".

heh. I could never say something like that, LOL

[Kat817 19]

If you look up martyr in the dictionary, you will find my MIL's picture! She has the attitude, and the actions down so pat, we all know what to expect from her!! They tend to make me crazy as well. My SIL (their DD) and I were banded together, and she has dogged my early success, and said how horrid the band was, until SIL finally hit a sweet spot, and began losing, and now the band is wonderful, and it is too bad I am regaining my weight---which I am not BTW!!!!! If we do not run away, they tend to try to monopolize every spare minute my DH has off of work. He just had another heart procedure done (he had open heart this year) and they were hinting at HIM to come buck hay. I ended up doing it. They rely way too much on him----and he is responsible and will do it for them or feel guilt from his siblings who live out of town, and they too expect him to do it all. There are times I am ready to move to a foreign country to escape them! They are not bad people----but very selfish people without question. They are 80 years old, been married for over 61 years....and VERY set in their ways. And they expect my DH to take care of things for them, it is the nature of things as they see it. I agree to a point. I have no problem helping out----but they don't want help, they want him to do it! My FIL is too old to grow alfalfa, and raise cows, he simply cannot do what needs to be done. But will he quit? Oh hell no! Let my DH go by every day after work, and deal with it. His heart surgeries have been a real problem! When I personally have to lift 200 bales of hay out of the field, onto a trailer, then off the trailer and stacked in the barn----I get pissed! I want the animals GONE! I want the fields GONE! I want the huge garden GONE! When we come to spend time with them, sit and visit with us, talk to us, don't send us off on yet another chore for you----but they see it much differently! So do the siblings.......like I say it may be time to learn a foreign language!!!!!!

It is rather refreshing to know I am not alone!!!

Kat