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I need it and I want it. I have always been a failure are dieting but my health is now so affected......I detailed this on another thread. My husband is supportive but scared, my daughter's are also, but one is not as sure as the other....she's afraid it will "ruin my life"...hello......it's already ruined. I'm am being worked up for the bypass because I have terrible reflux. I have been researching and there are do many "possible" complications. It's very scary.....I don't want to sound foolish....I have been a nurse for 35 years and have had many other surgeries myself, so why am I so afraid of this one??

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It is scary. There are so many "unknowns" going into surgery. I was a pretty active person before surgery and enjoyed being told I looked 10 years younger than I am. I was so worried about being malnourished, weak and looking haggard. I had a picture in my head of myself with hollow, sunken eyes and an inability to lift my own arms much less help my laboring patients. It's been 7 weeks and so far I'm feeling good and according to my very honest daughter I don't look like I've aged 30 years.

I was scared of the anesthesia and of possible complications even though I know statistically the risks are low. It is just plain scary to change our lives so drastically. For myself, I just knew it was the right thing to do and hoped for the best.

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WLS surgery is life changing in more ways than anyone could ever guess going in. It's hard, and it's not a perfect solution, but the benefits far outweigh any down sides. I was convinced I would not make it through the surgery, it was my first surgery ever. Yet, I went in and did it because I knew that I had no quality of life as I was. I am no longer in pain, I am more active, more health conscious, and overall much happier. Hang in there, you will be OK and what's more, you'll feel so empowered as those pounds start to melt away.

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When my daughter first started looking for s surgeon her young children were frightened. They were afraid that Momma was going to be sick or die or I'm not sure of all the ideas that popped into their heads, but then they're little. To rase their fears, I called my sister, who had the surgery 10 years ago, and asked her if she would talk to the boys. We put the phone one speaker and set it in the middle of the table as she began going through the steps from the pre-op liquid diet, what the hospital stay was like too post-op eating for the first few weeks. Then she had a little Q and A session with them. I was surprised by some of the intelligent questions asked by my 10-year-old grandson. I know that your children are older, but the premise still works. If you know someone who has gone through the surgery, ask them to talk to your family. It might help to alleviate their fears.

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Problem is, we did have a friend die of complications from a bypass. Had to get my oldest daughter past that. But it's been a long time ago.

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Understandable, there can be some serious complications. There's no point in denying that. I'm just starting this process and I talked with my children and grandchildren and made sure that they understood what was going on and why I'm doing this. Open communication is probably the most important thing you can do. I get the grandchildren involved by letting them walk with me. I have a wheeled walker that I use when I walk because of my back problems. When we get ready the kids make sure there is Water in the basket then we decide where we are headed. It has been a lot easier by letting them participate in some small way.

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I am so with you on this, I'm a nurse also. I think being a nurse gives you more understanding of all the things that can go wrong and doesn't help with the fear and anxiety! My husband wasn't on board till I told him the doctor said I was going to die without the surgery. That was a bit of a little white lie, I'm gonna die someday with or without the surgery. My kids are excited for me, my friends are telling me not to do it, I'll just gain it back. Ugh! I just don't feel like I have much of a life right now, I'm tired all the time and my joints hurt. I just want to have some energy!

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I was lucky. My husband was alive when I first started looking into WLS and he was on board from the beginning. Sadly, I lost him before I found my surgeon. My whole family, from my parents and sisters in Oregon, to my children here in Texas, are rooting for my. Also, if you ate determined to lose the weight this way and follow instructions, you won't gain it back. This is true of most SUCCESSFUL weight loss methods. My mother was able to lose over one hundred lbs without surgery, but she committed herself to Portion Control and exercise. It worked got her, and she's been able to keep it off for 40 years. My sister had gastric bypass 10 years ago and she's kept it off. She's my go to person when I have questions.

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I just kept in mind that the surgery was about as risky as a gallbladder removal and kept that thought in my head. I'm two days post-op but don't think that you're the only one who was scared of the surgery! I was terrified. But I kept thinking, I'm 21 years old with hypertension, I can't keep putting this much strain on myself of I WILL die earlier than expected. Being obese or overweight is not good for your body and I realize everybody is scared to lose you early, but you should be scared about losing yourself. It's about you. And it is scary but I have great high hopes that you will be just fine ❤️ chin up.

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I really appreciate the encouragement, thank you

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    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
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      1. This update has no replies.
    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
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    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

    • Jenopolis

      Had a sleeve in 2017, lost over 100 pounds. Had a DS surgery this year (2025) for more sustainable weight loss. 🤞
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    • buildabetteranna

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      · 3 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Glad it went well!! Wishing you a speedy recovery and wonderful success!! 🤗

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

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        Neat you have a pic of this day! I was sooo happy to get my surgery. It was well worth it! And I'm not even near my goal. I had surgery Dec. 2!

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