What am I looking forward to?

[aubrie 6]

I too am very nervous about having this surgery done. On some days I'm convinced that because I have a thyroid problem, not even this will work. But then I go through my mental list of all the things I look forward to after the surgery and it helps!! I look forward to:

1. getting in a canoe or kayak with my husband to go fishing

2. fitting in a movie theater seat without the armrest up

3. getting the seat belt on an airplane to fit and buckle safely

4. reaching to clean myself appropriately

5. walking upstairs to our guestroom without being completely winded

6. not having to lean over to drink out of a glass with a stem because my boobs are in the way

7. not covering my double chin with my hand when my picture is taken

8. dance the night away like I used to

9. not snoring worse than my husband

10. not being paranoid about what people are thinking if I catch them staring

11. my bras lasting longer instead of the wires popping out because of the added weight

12. buying pretty underwear instead of basic white or black

13. wearing short sleeved shirts again

14. not bruising my arms walking through a narrow doorway to quickly

15. not having the steering wheel touch my stomach

16. being "on top" for a change

17. enjoying walking the mall again and going shopping

18. painting my own toenails

19. getting down on the floor to play with my dog

20. Crossing my legs.

21. Wearing my hair how I want.

When I think of all these things, my fear just disappears. I plan to have surgery in September and look forward to a new life. What do you look forward to?

[NimbleBean 2]

Aubrie,

I have thyroid problems too! I'm hypothyroid, but am on daily meds and it's under control. My metabolism may never be as quick as I like, but I don't mind if it takes me a bit longer to lose the weight. It's better than gaining it, which would have been the case if I hadn't gotten the Band!

Keep all your goals and wishes in mind, and remember that a positive relationship with food will give you better overall health and improve so many aspects of your life!

Best of luck to you.

Margaret

[faithmd 14]

Hello Aubrie, there's a few threads around here like this one, I always love these threads because it is so inspiring and offers so much insight into what makes each of us tick. In case you wanted to check some others' responses as well, I've listed a few of them. The first one is one that is fairly recent. Thanks for your list, I love it!

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/has-anybody-made-list-things-you-want-do-after-weight-loss-29177/

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f7/looking-forward-9038/

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/what-do-you-did-you-look-forward-too-21239/

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f15/nsv-i-look-forward-anyone-else-me-23899/

http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/what-things-can-you-do-now-your-banned-you-could-not-before-13671/

[faithmd 14]

I sooooo agree about the canoe and kayak thing. We have a house on a river that we've owned for about 5 years. I have yet to canoe it. I also would LOVE to buy a kayak, but it's hard to find kayaks that are reasonably priced that have a weight limit higher than 250 or 300 lbs. I would love to have a keyhole, but my butt is sooo big, I'd worry if I rolled, I couldn't get out fast. So I started looking at the sit on tops and my weight is still just too much.

[aubrie 6]

faithmd,

We just got back from vacation on Mt. Desert Island in Maine. There were kayakers everywhere having a marvelous time. We went to Alaska last year and the same thing. I just got to sit on the shore and watch. I'm sick of sitting on the sidelines and watching life go by. I WANT TO BE A PARTICIPANT!! hang in there. Kayaking on that river is just around the corner for you. Don't lose your focus.

[NDPrairieLover 0]

Never have done a blog before, but I need support. Here goes the first reply.

This thread has been helpful as I am also scared. My surgery is on July 9th and they will repair a hiatal hernia at same time. I am a real control freak so things like being under and having them place a catheter is bit nerving. I hate sleeping without my undies. Maybe I too will let anesth. know and he can give me a happy shot to calm my nerves and then I won't care what happens.

Adding to your list of what I am looking forward to:

- Not having to take over 80 mg. of Nexium to control my heartburn. This stuff is spendy:tired

-Getting to lower the pressure on my CPAP machine (using duck tape to keep mask from flying off from the air pressure; my doctor's attempt to be funny):heh:

-Possibly getting rid of the CPAP machine!

-Hopefully eliminating the massive sweating that occurs when I am doing as little as folding the clothes(no I have not nor am I even close to menopause. Every doctor tests and says "No, that's not it.)

-Most of all, to just be able to look at myself in the mirror without planning my "new" diet that always seems to never start.

P.S. Loved #4. I hate that when that happens!

[aubrie 6]

Prairie Lover,

I also HATE to sweat and do it all the time for next to nothing. Our house is like a meat locker. (poor family) When I'm hot, which is most of the time, I'm a B%^*$. I had to laugh when I read the thread titled "I'm freezing and fed up". It's on the general lap band discussion section. Many people say after surgery they are cold all the time. In my book, that could be something to look forward to! LOL I'm much more pleasant when it's cold. Matter of fact, we vacationed in Maine this year and Alaska last year. the thought of going tropical and being sweaty and miserable and swollen just doesn't do it for me. Maybe after banding I'll be more flexible on this.....

[anonemouse 1]

I am looking forward to:

• 
  
• being able to apply to any internship/PhD position that I want to, without worrying that I physically won't be able to do the fieldwork
  
• being able to climb over wire fences without worrying that they'll break when I'm doing my thesis fieldwork
  
• not having to turn sideways and walk on the tips of my toes to walk between desks when I'm at school
  
• going hiking with a group of friends and not wheeze too hard to talk
  
• being able to climb back on the tube when I fall off after tubing behind a boat
  
• finding an attractive swimsuit
  
• actually having fun when I go clothes shopping, instead of thinking it's torture

[Gibson 7]

These are always my favorite threads! I'm going to work on a weight loss scrapbook this summer that has all of my list in it along with pictures. Thanks for the new ideas!

[faithmd 14]

Oooo, Lauren you hit the nail on the head with that tube comment. I've floated down our river in a tube once, and I was freaked out the whole time because what if I fell out of the tube in a deep spot and couldn't get back in? I didn't enjoy it at all.

I also want to be able to go swimming and just hoist myself up on the side of the pool and get out like I used to when I was a kid,

[Sweety 0]

GREAT THREAD. I WOULD LOVE TO

1.BE GUTSY ENOUGH TO GET IN THE POOL WHILE VACATIONING. I KNOW NOBODY THERE KNOWS ME, BUT I DON'T WANNA SCARE ANYONE.

2. BE ABLE TO SHOP AT A NORMAL CLOTHING STORE RATHER THAN A PLUS SIZE WOMAN'S STORE. YUK

3. BE ABLE TO GO BIKE RIDING WITH THE FAMILY OR EVEN FOR A WALK AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD W/OUT LOSING MY BREATH RIGHT AWAY.

4. GET ON EVERY SINGLE RIDE AT THE AMUSEMENT PARK W/OUT BEING PARANOID AS TO WHETHER OR NOT THE LAP BELT WILL FIT AROUND ME.

5. I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO SAY "DAMN THAT WOMAN LOOKS GOOD", INSTEAD OF THE USUAL "SHE'S GOT SUCH A PRETTY FACE".

6. I JUST WANNA LIKE WHAT I SEE IN THE MIRROR FOR A CHANGE.

7. AND MOST OF ALL ASIDE FROM BEING HEALTHY, I WANNA SPEND A TON OF MONEY ON A NEW WARDROBE.

IS THAT WANTING A LITTLE TOO MUCH? I DON'T THINK SO. I BELIEVE WE ARE ALL WORTH IT.

[Sweety 0]

forgot To Mention That I Am Looking Forward To Buying My First Harley. And Actually Looking Good On It. Lol

[mandilou 1]

I have been waiting for a list like this for ages... and I made one a while back. Here we go... brace yourself:

1) It would be nice to cross my legs under a table and feel like I’m sitting like a lady, even if my grace is a joke. It’d be nice to be able to fake it without doing the “fat lady ankle cross”.

2) I would like to sit in an airplane seat without feeling like I was oozing onto the person next to me. I would like to feel comfortable sitting anywhere, for that matter. It’s hard not to feel the sides of a chair digging into your hips, or feeling the metal of a lawn chair stress as you settle into it. Yes, I’ve broken a chair, and while no one noticed, it was probably one of the most humiliating moments of my life.

3) I would like for someone to want to date me for me. Not BECAUSE I’m bigger or BECAUSE I’m thinner, but just because. I’m no fool – I realize that some people have ‘types’, and they find them more attractive than others. But so many people that are attracted to me are drawn to me BECAUSE I’m bigger, not because I’m Mandi. It’d be nice to be “average” for once. Not that I was ever born to be average. But size-wise, it’d be nice to blend in.

4) I would like to receive a compliment without the whole “sucha” syndrome. You bigger folks have heard it… “he’s SUCHA nice guy” “she has SUCHA pretty face” “she is SUCHA smart girl”… people tiptoe around compliments because they want to find a way to tell you ‘IF YOU JUST WEREN’T FAT, YOU’D BE PERFECT!”

5) I would like to resume the activities I loved so much when I was younger… being athletic, going hiking, biking or skiing. And I would like to do those things without feeling self-conscious about my body while doing it. When I am focused on working out, when I get the best athletic ‘high’, it’s when I’m not feeling my thighs rub together, and I’m not worried about how my clothes are showing rolls or not, when I’m not thinking about how my butt looks if anyone is behind me.

6) I would like to enjoy a date, or a get together with friends, or another social activity, without food being at the center of my evening. Not only do I base most of my activities around eating, but I’m thinking about it a lot. I would like to live my life and learn how to “eat to live”. It’s a concept I have never understood, and I don’t know if it’s because of how I was raised, or if it is because I just am a passionate person and eating passionately is part of that. And I’m the one who eats the most, and the fastest, and I can’t help myself. I am a person of excess, in many arenas. And I am a person who needs to learn by doing and usually that means learning the hard way. And if having surgery and making a life-changing choice leads me to finally learn how to live without making food the focus of my life, then so be it.

7) I would like to wear sleeveless tops and halters without people saying “wow, you’re brave I could never wear a shirt like that” referring to my large breasts and my large size.

8) I would like people to not be seemingly surprised that I have good fashion sense, and do not come to work in a mumu or stretch pants.

9) I would like a guy to check me out, and not just look at my face and scroll down and then look away. But rather, I want them to check all of me out, and come back to my face, and perhaps even smile.

10) I would like to wear a two piece, proudly.

11) I would like to spend an entire day not thinking about my weight, not overthinking the way I look, or making sure my makeup and hair look good to “balance” out the rest of me below my neck.

12) I would like to buy a piece of clothing without trying it on.

13) Speaking clothes, I would like more than just three stores to shop from. And this does not include a few nice options on the web, but again, I can’t order clothes without trying them on, and returning them would be a giant hassle.

14) I would like to go to a bar or club and not be self-conscious when I dance, or when I walk, or when I basically do anything.

15) I would like to go to bar or club mentioned above, and not have to wonder WHY people are looking at me… are guys checking me out, or just grossed out? Are women threatened by me, or wondering what the hell I’m wearing and feeling sorry for me?

16) I would like to fit comfortably in a bathtub and actually feel submersed in the Water rather than just feel like my butt and lower back were getting wet. I would like to “soak” and light candles and read and drink wine and feel comfortable and not get cold too fast because I am too fat to really sink into the warmth. I would also like to FIT in the tub, width wise a little better. Being squeezed between both sides doesn’t really make me feel relaxed, it makes me feel claustrophobic.

17) I would like to address the REASONS I EAT. I eat when I’m sad, when I’m lonely, when I’m angry, when I’m happy. I eat to Celebrate, I eat to mourn, I eat to feel comforted, I eat to feel whole and full, I eat to feel, period. I don’t want to eat to realize feelings, and I don’t want to use food to temper those feelings. I want to find other outlets for my emotions, and my punishing myself with food has got to stop.

18) As a single person, I would like to expand my dating options and not just look for guys who like big girls. I’ve mentioned this above, so I’ll move on from this for now.

19) As a committed person, I’d like to feel confident and sexy in bed, especially if things don’t work out with ****. Being open with being, well, opened…. Is something that’s always been a little difficult for me, and I have to really feel a connection to someone before I’d let them see me at all angles, good and bad. **** and I, both being bigger, and both immediately connected to one another, were really open with each other from the start, and even so, there are still times when I’m more self-conscious than not. I don’t expect to always feel great naked, but most of the time would be nice.

20) I would like to wear shorts during the summer, without using stupid excuses for not wearing them. The bottom line is that they run-up the inside of my thigh and I end up doing the “leg roll” walk… where you walk normal for maybe five steps, then roll your leg sideways to let the fabric unbunch from between your legs. I would love to be comfortable wearing shorts to the gym, or even when I’m hanging out. I never wear shorts anymore. No matter what.

21) I would like to tie my shoes without any difficulty, and do the straps on strappy heels. Furthermore, I’d like to be able to WEAR heels, period. I can hardly wear anything with a heel on it without it a) breaking, and yes, it’s happened or :scalesno: feeling like my feet are going to revolt and beat me up after only a few minutes.

22) I would like to get in and out of my car in a tight parking spot without worrying about dinging the door, ruining my coat, or breaking off a side mirror. I don’t want to find parking spots to fit my fatness.

23) I would like to order whatever I want from a restaurant, or eat whatever amount of food I want, or not eat, or whatever, and not have every thing I put into my mouth noticed and scrutinized by others.

24) I don’t want to be lazy. I have found myself trending towards laziness, and I no longer have as much of an inherent need to MOVE. I love exercise, and being physically fit, and finding myself becoming a couch potato because I’m self-conscious to do much else is really becoming disconcerting.

25) I am adopted. I have thyroid issues. I have dealt with depression. I worry about my cholesterol, I worry about diabetes (it’s in my family history). I don’t want to be plagued with health issues when I get older, and I don’t want to be 28 and worry on a semi-regular basis that I might have a heart attack at 40. I want this surgery now, while I’m younger, so I can enjoy my late 20’s and early 30’s and make the most of my life.

26) I don’t want to be self-conscious of myself at work. I don’t want to be the stereotypical person that is underpaid and under promoted because there are stereotypes associated with being heavy.

27) I don’t want to weigh more than everyone in the room. And I usually do. Unless there’s someone REALLY big, and by that I mean the type of person people usually stare at.

28) I want my personality and energy and passion on the inside to match what’s on the outside. I want to feel like my body is mine, not that I’m walking around in a fat suit. This is not the REAL ME. I am envious of women who enjoy being bigger, because they are on the outside who they feel they are on the inside. I don’t feel congruous.

[NDPrairieLover 0]

Dear Laurend

I too am working on Ph.D. and work with children all day. It is demanding and I am determined to be able to keep up on the recess playground. Maybe another thing I look forward to is not having children outrun me because I am out of breath. One thing that really convinced me it was time to consider this was when I did a complete tear of the ACL and Meniscus while trying to partipate in the annul staff/6th grade charity basketball game. It really hit me hard when they had to drag me off the court. That was the last straw. I am determined to play in that game again, but this time as a healthier example to students.

[allwright 0]

I just got back from Boston, MA. I went to see my grandchildren. My husband and I flew there from KY. I can not explain the joy I felt when I had to say, "wait a minute honey, I have to tighten my seat belt"! He smiled knowingly as we shared that moment. No one else knew but we did and it felt sooooooo...good! We also took the kids and grandkids to the Aquarium. Walked all over the place, subways, buses, sidewalk tours, and I kept up and breathed NORMALLY! We ate in nice restuarants...I chatted, nursed a wonderful bowl of chowder, laughed, smiled at the grandbabies, talked, enjoyed my lemon Water, smiled, nibbled on a wonderful chicken salad..had a blast and no one noticed I was "Dieting"! Woops, was this supposed to be hard? It's only been 2 1/2 months and I can't wait for our next adventure.

I did nothing different or special. We can set and meet our goals!!!