Surgery date (yay!) and telling kids...

[carebear42 82]

I am new here. I have my surgery date of June 2nd and I am so excited. I have 4 wonderful boys ages 10, 8, 3, & 2. I haven't told them about my surgery yet but plan on it soon. Anyone thoughts on discussing this with kids?

[kbmerritt84 4]

Welcome!

My surgery date in July 14th and I'm excited too.

I also have 4 children. Boys are 6, girls are 4.

I spoke to my therapist about this very topic just last week. My kids will be going to spend a week with family the day after my surgery so my partner can stay with me in the hospital and be attentive during my first few days at home. My therapist and I decided to let the kids go to family with high spirits as if it's a vacation. Then , the day that they come home, have my family members tell them that mommy had a visit with the doctor and that she's fine but that she has a booboo on her tummy. She can't pick you up and you CANNOT jump on her, but you can lay in bed with her and walk with her holding hands. The idea was that I wanted them to know that I wasn't ok to be seriously physical with them but also that I was ok. I don't want them to worry about what they can't change or even be present for.

Your oldest may be ok to tell, but even so, he would likely worry all day. I don't think that we should lie to them but we should come up with a message that doesn't make them worry about mom or make doctors scary.

I hope this helped.

- K

[dhrguru 1,238]

I told my kids I was having surgery to reduce how much I can eat so I could lose weight. I described what my expected capacity for eating would be, long term, using measuring cups to give them an idea. Also got them prepared early for me being out of the house for the hospital stay ( I've got momma's boys) as well as what help I'd need from them in recovery. Then I highlighted all the fun things we could do together going forward.

They've been super supportive! Mine are 10 and 12.

[mrsxjay 3]

Hi there!! I had my sleeve done on 4-6 during spring break. I have 2 girls (11 and 13). Thankfully they were at their grandmothers for the week so I was able to rest. I didn't tell them anything until they returned home. I told them I had a procedure done at the hospital. I didn't exactly tell them what It was. I felt that they would take on a responsibility that wasn't theirs. Of course they asked a ton of questions and still do. They ask about my eating habits and things. they are girls so I don't know if it's different for boys!! Good luck with your surgery????????????