Did people treat you differently after weight loss?

[B_Darkly 18]

My surgery date is June 8th 2015 so it's getting closer, and I was just wondering if anyone had been treated differently after losing weight? Was it positive? Negative? Both? I'd like to know because I'm about to have the surgery and for my whole life people have treated me like I was invisible, and if the did notice me they looked at me like I wasn't human. So... does anyone have a story to tell? How has your social life changed as far as how people treat you?

[B_Darkly 18]

And actually, I don't just want to know how they treated you after, but how did they treat you before? I'd like to hear some stories, and maybe compare them with my own experience.

[mike@goal 21]

Hi B,

The sad truth is that people really do treat people differently based on their weight. I noticed that as I got closer and closer to my goal weight, people who never looked at me let alone talk to me suddenly started to takenotice and be a bit more friendly. I even had a waitress who served me lunch every day by my office not only talkwith me for the first time but she actuallt sat at my table and left me her phone number on the back of the check. I was flattered but also a little ticked off because prior to having the surgery she never said a word to me and I'll guarantee she didnt even recognize who i was.

Hope you are doing well!

Mike

[B_Darkly 18]

I can see why you would be ticked off by them :/ that's one of the things I wasn't looking forward to. It wouldn't be fun to know that people you've known your whole life started being nicer to you based on what you look like, and I'm hoping that isn't the case. I've also heard that some women have gotten negative attention from other women who used to be their friends. The weight loss is really great though, congrats on that part!

[mike@goal 21]

I think you'll see as the weight comes off that you'll start feeling better about yourself and you'd be surprised how a more confident you makes people look at you in a different light as well, in a good way. A little confidence in your new post-op life really goes a long way. Thanks for the compliment!

[B_Darkly 18]

That's a very uplifting thing to hear I have also heard that as well, people said that they became more confident and that people were reacting to how they carried themselves. I think with some people it is the confidence and then with other's it does have a lot to do with outer appearances.

[mike@goal 21]

totally agreed!

[Jusst*mee 28]

I was never treated poorly to my face at least prior to weight loss surgery. I was always told things like I was beautiful but I should lose weight. Duh. Well I'm now 5 months post op and 40lbs from my goal weight so I still have work to do and still see myself as very heavy. My husband tells me I'm skinny and I know I'm not so that aggravates me lol. But since the weather is getting nicer I've finally replaced my clothes and after a year of working losing weight ppl are really noticing. I've kept my surgery a secret due to I don't feel it's anyone's business. In the past week these are things I've heard "you lost a lot of weight" "how did you lose weight" "what's your secret" "are you on a crack head diet" "you didn't have wls did you? It's incredibly unhealthy for you". All of the above comments to me were rude. A simple you look good or great job would suffice. So I think some ppl are just rude either way. I just try ignoring them and enjoy things like wearing whatever fashionable clothes I want now since I no longer have to shop in the limited selection plus size departments.

[aelovelady 243]

You will definitely be treated better. You will find your voice and people will hear it.

[Djmohr 6,965]

Most people are shocked to see you if they have not seen you for a while. Some have not even recognized me and only did so because I happened to be with my husband.

Your good friends are simply so happy for you that you get great big hugs, the people you thought were friends but really are not will usually ask inappropriate questions. Or if they know you have WLS because you told them, they will always have some story of someone they knew that either had horrific complications or gained all their weight back. For me, I simply ignore these people and simply show up with my positive attitude. When they see the transformation they usually shut right up.

Most of the time they are jealous that you are doing so great and don't know how to handle it. Many do not understand that obesity is actually a disease and needs to be treated for long term success. I do my best to educate them and sometimes that works and other times it doesn't.

In the end I really don't care what people think, say or do. I did this for my health and I have accomplished that!

I win!

[lptreg 25]

Now everyone wants to date me and the guys want to hit the clubs with me. It feels good yet sad that weight made such a difference

[MBM1Forever 107]

I do think that people treat you differently. They look at you in a different way. I tell most people who ask me how I have lost the weight. It isn't anything I am ashamed of and it feels more authentic to me. I am not judging any one who does not tell, it is mine and yours to tell if you wish.

[B_Darkly 18]

Now everyone wants to date me and the guys want to hit the clubs with me. It feels good yet sad that weight made such a difference

I've always wondered why some people tend to look at you as less important before you lose weight, not saying everyone does that but I do know quite a few people who think like that.

[B_Darkly 18]

Most people are shocked to see you if they have not seen you for a while. Some have not even recognized me and only did so because I happened to be with my husband.

Your good friends are simply so happy for you that you get great big hugs, the people you thought were friends but really are not will usually ask inappropriate questions. Or if they know you have WLS because you told them, they will always have some story of someone they knew that either had horrific complications or gained all their weight back. For me, I simply ignore these people and simply show up with my positive attitude. When they see the transformation they usually shut right up.

Most of the time they are jealous that you are doing so great and don't know how to handle it. Many do not understand that obesity is actually a disease and needs to be treated for long term success. I do my best to educate them and sometimes that works and other times it doesn't.

In the end I really don't care what people think, say or do. I did this for my health and I have accomplished that!

I win!

I like that attitude X) "I win!" lol.

[jess9395 5,449]

All of a sudden the sales clerks approach me and want to actually HELP me now that I am a size 4. Service people make eye contact and smile when they didn't before, strangers strike up conversations. It isn't the people I KNOW who treat me differently, it's the strangers. Is it the weight or the new confidence? Probably both to be honest. But it's a HUGE difference for me.