Looking for a buddy with lower pre op BMI

[Jme82 23]

I qualify for the sleeve due to having developed hypertension. I was 35% when I started this journey in February and am now 33% BMI. I attended the support group and others told me I looked really good then asked when I had my surgery/ how much weight I have lost. Lol. I guess I feel a little guilty if they think I already look good why couldn't I do this on my own, with out surgery? But I've tried and it just doesn't come off. I go to the gym, run a 5K but I can't turn down a chocolate chip cookie... Hypertension was a wake up call. Insurance is covering the surgery so I'm rectifying the problem before it gets worse. I guess if insurance has agreed to cover it I shouldn't feel like I'm doing something wrong or cheating the system by "taking the easy way out". I do have a real need for this. Anyone else with lower pre op BMI feel this way?

My husband is very supportive. He tells me I'm beautiful every day, no matter my size. However, I can never tell anyone else in my family. Everyone in my family is rail thin and doesn't understand why I'm always the one to polish off the cupcakes. They seem to assume I don't work out because I have all this extra weight. I regularly run 5k at the gym. I just have a real problem with food... Mainly Cookies, cakes, Pasta, and pizza. I'm so tired of feeling like the obese kid at family gatherings. I'm so over trying to discreetly position myself at an angel behind my sister so I look a few pounds lighter in the family photo. I don't want to feel like everyone is watching me to see how much I pile on my plate as I approach the Deseret tray.

I would really love to find a buddy, male or female who also has a lower pre op body weight and is going through or has been through the same thing.

Thank you for taking the time to read and I look forward to your reply!

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

Do you want someone who hasn't had the surgery yet, or already has had it? I have had it in December. But I can help you, if you'd like. Just let me know.

You do know, I'm assuming, that the surgery will NOT keep that cookie from your mouth? Or jumping onto your plate. You will still have to say no, and work very hard to lose weight, and to keep it off. All the surgery will do is create a stricture, and reduce some of your hunger. But if you have been reading the posts, you will find we all have to fight REALLY hard to win this battle. You will find that people regain the weight if they don't follow their plan. This is a very difficult life we lead, but most of us use this tool (and surgery is only a tool) to help us fight the fight. We have to constantly watch what we eat, how much, and how often. Just like a regular diet. We have to exercise and always plan for the future meals. The best thing for you to do is read the posts that have been written, using the search feature at the top right-hand corner of the page, to help you find subjects relating to this.

This is a tough road, and we who are on it battle to stay on track, but it is difficult. I wish you all the best!

[Jme82 23]

Of course I would love to have you as my buddy! Thank you for replying! I know the surgery will not keep me from eating crap foods. What I lack now is motivation. I tried for so long to loose the weight and when I stayed a size 12 for SO long and I gave up. That's when I packed it on. If I have something helping me. If I see that change is happening I am a lot more motivated. About 12 years ago I found that motivation and slimed down to a size 8. But then kids happened and I was always hungry. Feeling overweight I lost my motivation. I've lost 12 lbs since my initial weigh in and I feel great! Yesterday I was at a birthday party with my kids and when the cake passed out I said no! I felt like doing a victory dance.

[Jme82 23]

Photo of me 1 week before I weighed on at 35% BMI. YES, we were in London at Harry Potters train station!

[Jme82 23]

here I am BEFORE kids.

[Jme82 23]

Please tell me all about your journey!

[lady toetaa 2]

Hi

I had my sleeve 4 weeks ago, you sound like my twin!!! I lived for carbs and sweets. My BMI was also low but I developed high BP and had other co morbidity. I also had the same guilt and doubt feelings.

So far this is the best thing I ever did!!

When they remove the portion of the stomach that produces the grellin hormone it seems to change everything. I am not sure what I would do if a plate of homemade chocolate chips were in from of me lol but i can say i am not craving since surgery.

Good luck I am brand new to this site and not sure how to further communicate, but would love to keep in touch.

[kcmu5411 2]

Your story sounds a lot like mine. I have a lot of guilt about having surgery. The only person who knows is my boyfriend, I feel like my friends would be like "you don't need something as drastic as surgery" or "why don't you just work out". And I have trouble saying no to the same foods you do. I will miss them, lol. The photo I'm using on here is a picture I would NEVER post on social media because I look fat. Just like you said, I usually "position" myself or hide partially behind people. But on here I feel like I should use one that most accurately shows what I really look like. And I hate it, lol. My surgery is next Wednesday, May 13th, I'm freaking terrified.

[Jme82 23]

I'm so glad you two wrote back to me! I was starting to feel discouraged, feeling like no one wanted to talk to me for being a "lightweight". Seriously, I read your posts this morning and the excitement I felt from finding people like me was enough to help me get out of bed! So thanks. Lol! I would love to keep in touch with you guys. Will you share photos and your stories like I did? My surgery is June 16. I went to support group this week hoping to find someone with a similar story. Instead I found that I was smaller than majority of post op pts there. They told me I looked good and asked when I was sleeved. Then they asked why I was going through with this. If anything the support group just made me feel more guilty. ;(. I'm really glad you guys are in my boat!

[Jme82 23]

Lady toetaa, how much have you lost so far? I have lost 12 pre so far and I feel amazing!

[brandnewme2015 217]

Best of luck to you guys :you all have made a decision that is best for YOU. I was sleeved on April 1st with a BMI of 32.9. I qualified under my insurance plan with co-morbidities and a BMI of 35. I heard the same "arguments" from my best friend, and future MIL:"you managed to lose weight pre-op, why can't you just continue doing it like that instead of having surgery? " 1) no one understands my struggle with weight, the ups and downs, all my life, like I do 2) if I didn't think I needed this tool to help me lose and KEEP the weight off, I certainly wouldn't be doing this. It is far from the" easy way out ". I finally decided to stop justifying MY decision. My fiance, my kids, and most of the people that really matter in my life are in my corner. And.. I turn to this forum often for support. I am 5 weeks post Op now and am feeling better everyday. My BMI is 29 now, and though I have another 38 lbs. to goal weight I am more confident in my ability to get there than I have ever been. Keep in touch. I would love to know how you are all doing in your journey.

Edited May 8, 2015 by brandnewme2015

[waves68 1]

Your story also sounds like mine. I currently going through the pre-op process. Had my labs done and X-rays done and the finding were HPylori..freaked me out. Now I'm taking meds to clear this up prior to my next visit with my surgeon ugh

[miks 8]

My bmi is 35, I have lost weight before, 3 kids later it's more difficult! I Sam scheduled for next week, when are you having yours?

[nicholeday 6]

This is a great thread for me as well. So glad to run across it. My surgery was 9 days ago with a starting BMI in November of 35 (minimum for my insurance if other issues). By time of surgery I was 40 BMI because I went on a food Funeral eating all of my favorite things that I'll never have again. HUGE mistake! I've lost 24 lbs and I am so disappointed in myself for gaining the extra weight because I feel it put me behind.

I am truly struggling today especially (into tears) because we went to a funeral and afterwards at the gathering was every favorite summer cook out food you could imagine. Everyone was shoveling it in and I couldn't find a safe place and felt like I couldn't breathe. My husband saw something on my face and said "why don't we go". He by the way never ate in front of me there. This happened 3 hours ago and I am laying on the couch still starving and seeing all the items in my head and want to cry.

I feel like it's Karma for gaining the weight pre-op....

[ellci 5]

I'm in!!! I'm on day 3 of pre-op diet & being sleeved 21 May (yikes).

My BMI was 36 and I too receive comments like 'you don't need it' and 'why not just join a gym'

Seriously? I'm like 5 foot and look like I got stuck inside a swim tube, although I must admit none of them have seen me naked (I don't even like to look)!

I had intended to keep it to myself, hubby & kids due to the negativity from others and shame that I couldn't do it alone (the rest of the family just assumes I am lazy, pfft I walk 6km almost every day).

Then I got to thinking, they don't know my journey so far or that the treatment for my diabetes piles the weight on, or that the dietary treatment for it is carbs first, coupled with hypertension and sleep apnoea.

I'm not making a big announcement or anything, but if I'm asked I'm not going to try and hide it. This was a huge decision, a lifelong commitment but I know that this is my only hope of taking back control.

Looking forward to following everyone's journey!