Discouraged/Sad

[coleenrenee 66]

I was sleeved on April 23rd down 20 lbs pre op and 14 lbs so far post op. I know it's not going to be over night but it's getting really depressing my family isn't being as supportive as I thought they would be. My family eats fast food almost every night while I enjoy broth (hooray for purée, started today) it's really getting on my nerves. I think I'm more on edge than ever ... Please tell me I'm not the only one has had a down moment through this process... I'm feeling like I shouldn't have done this having a lot of regrets.

[jane13 2,256]

I don't have surgery until Wednesday and I will live with hubby and son eating fast food and my family is ok with surgery but I don't have anyone cheering me on.

[justbeingme1972 27]

Girl I'm going through something similar I think. My family is eating pizza as I write this. I had surgery 6 days ago. I want to freaking eat!! I actually cheated and did eat and it was the worst experience. I don't recommend it. Good luck I hope it gets better.

[IcanMakeit 1,318]

@@coleenrenee, I'm sorry you're feeling blue, but know that lots of people have those same thoughts/feelings early in the post-op period. In a couple of weeks, you will begin to notice that you're feeling better and better. In a few months, when you see that you have lost a significant amount of weight, you will be so glad you decided to take the risk of WLS and do the work required. Read widely on this site and you will see that experience repeated over and over. Good luck.

[sharonintx 1,275]

Awww Coleen it'll work itself out with time. I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. I wish I could say that these feelings will pass in a couple of days and you'll be overjoyed. But I'm going to tell you this instead:

It's hard to change your entire way of life. In fact it really blows at times. Let me tell you what the sleeve did for me. I lost weight - yes ma'am. I like my new appearance. It's been over 2 years now. In that 2 years I've been through every emotion imaginable. Some good and a whole lot of frustration and having to learn to fight off the demons that made me overeat and be fat in the first place.

That was the real struggle. But I did it. I came to terms with my feelings, my shortcomings, and my dysfunctional mind that equated contentment with a big ole cheeseburger. For a good while I secretly hoped the people around me would choke on whatever delicious thing they were scarfing down. Then I was angry. Then I was regretful. Then I was sad.

Then I pulled myself together.and found out that I didn't need my good friend food to be happy. I could be happy all by myself and actually come to like the person I was becoming. And now here I am telling you about it.

You'll make it too:). Hang in there and work thru this process. You will end up feeling beautiful inside and out.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

@@coleenrenee - I'm sorry you are feeling down. The reality of the situation is that you signed up for this change, not your family. Unless they are waving it in your face and taunting you, it's unrealistic to expect them to eat differently. Unless it is a mandatory family meal situation, perhaps it would be best to eat elsewhere for a while. At least until you are able to eat regular food again. However the fact of the matter is we will always have to make good food choices. That's why it's a lifestyle change. Try to begin wrapping your brain around that fact now.

[coleenrenee 66]

Thank you all for the wonderful comments. It's just that hubby is cheering me on while he has a freaking cheesesteak in his hand .. It's irritating and I asked him to please eat somewhere else but he refused. I think I will have to start eating my meals alone b/c every time the family goes out and brings back the good Old fast food that I once loved it makes me feel like punching them in the face ... Children included. I got some rest and am feeling okay now it's just been a tough couple of days and here I was saying prior to surgery .. You got this girl you worked through all of your "stuff" and now my head is saying damn girl you don't have this there is some more stuff you need to work on and I'm not ready.. I'm a planner and I thought I checked everything and crossed every T.. But there are just some things that come up that you don't anticipate .. I never thought I would be feeling angry sad yes but I'm mad at the world when I can't eat .. I think I read somewhere that it's all a mind game and that part is so true. I get to go to the gym tomorrow and hopefully that will take the edge off. Thanks everyone!

[Aspy17 22]

Hormonal changes go with the surgery. It took me about 3 months to level out and stop being depressed. As for your family eating fast food in front of you, you could be proactive and cook healthy meals for everyone so that the fast food isn't coming into the house. The soft/purée food stage will be behind you quickly.

[jstina 6]

It is really normal to have these moments when you don't have support around you. You made the decision to have the surgery and lost an amazing 20 lbs pre surgery and 14 more so far, that is awesome! You have to be your own cheerleader sometimes and keep telling yourself how great you are doing. Find a support group or therapist to help keep you mentally on track, outside influences can be tough sometimes. Hang in there you are on your way to being healthy and nothing tastes as good as that!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

You may want to consider finding some extra support (counselor, therapy, OA, bariatric support group, etc.) outside of your immediate family. Best of luck.

[Swampdoggie 477]

I told myself so long as they didn't expect me to cook those goodies early on I'd be ok. Either they can eat what I'm eating or they can make/get it themselves. It was tough in the early days but it has gotten better for me; I think it will be easier for you too when you have more options again. Most of the time I'm perfectly happy eating this better way. Now I even cook them stuff they love that I don't eat.

Good luck!

[alindsey 230]

Your family sounds like a-holes!!! Hold your head up you can do this! I know it's hard with no support but that will make you that much stronger and more awesome for getting to your goals!!! Do it for the look at me now. Take a week long vacation away from your family concentrate on you that's what I would do with no support! Do you be healthy strong and fabulous! You can do it!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Your family sounds like a-holes!!! Hold your head up you can do this! I know it's hard with no support but that will make you that much stronger and more awesome for getting to your goals!!! Do it for the look at me now. Take a week long vacation away from your family concentrate on you that's what I would do with no support! Do you be healthy strong and fabulous! You can do it!

They sound like a typical family. Are they supposed to drink broth and purees just because that's all she can eat? We have to realize that the people around us who didn't sign up for WLS are going to eat as they normally eat. That's not lack of support, that's life.

[alindsey 230]

My mom had the lap band and me my brothers sisters and dad changed our diets got junk out of the house and most certainly would never eat pizza or fast food around her. We ate more healthy and we ate what she could eat. We'd even eat all different types of Soup with her the first few weeks at dinner. Anything to make it easier on her. So there is a such thing as a supportive family. It's a shame everyone doesn't have one, it's a shame its such a strange thing to some people but it exists!

[alipollard 4]

I am feeling the same way! I had surgery Monday the 27th and I cried most of the day Thursday. I have the advantage of living alone but it is still so hard! My friends went to dinner last night and I was so upset, and definitely doubting the decision to have this surgery. It is an inner battle with myself daily. You will succeed and reach out any time you need!