Whats the worst you've heard?

[sfeiner 2]

When reading all these notes, I got wondering what does a person say to someone who has lost a lot of weight? Is it better to ignore it or comment? It sounds like if they say you are looking great, it insinuates you weren't before and if they ignore it, like they didn't notice. I haven't got my band yet and I don't really know what I would want people to say.

[green 6]

Ha ha. I have received a lot of comments on my loss of weight over the past year. Many folk want to know if I am well. They blurt this out without showing any sensitivity and this makes me feel badly for those of us who have lost weight due to illness.

People do notice. Although I was one of the lower BMI bandsters people sure did notice and I found this to be a mixed blessing. It is nice to know that people notice that you are losing a little weight. It is horrible being treated like a former freak of the week who has suddenly been judged as one who has managed to miraculously re-enter the human race due to pounds shed.

I was a lower BMI. I didn't really think that anyone noticed. It seemed that everyone did. That hurt a lot.

[ingyrob 1]

I get all squirmy when people say that I have lost weight because people so approve. However people have only just started to notice that I have lost weight and it makes me wonder why they have not noticed before. I have lost 57 lbs. That is half a cwt. Do you have that measurement?

I would like to go to that "you are so pretty but" theme. I think that being fat but not pretty is even worse. Fat and ugly. That is the pits! I'd like you all to know that no one has said that I am so pretty it is a shame about my body LOL:):eek:

[coastlgrl 0]

I have to agree with you "green" I think men really do like women with some meat on their bones. Granted not the extra 100 lbs I have, but I must say my husband has always been supportive of me no matter what size I am. He never mentions my weight or comments about it. He has been super supportive of the LB surgery. I do think he is concerned that I will get too thin though - now that would be a new experience for me!! I have been told - not once, but several times - "Gee, you are a good example of why looks aren't everything-you have a great personality". Recently I was at Wal-Mart with a "friend" and there was a large women standing at the jewelry counter. She turns to me and says "well at least you aren't that fat" I didn't realize we were comparision shopping that day. I still haven't forgiven her for that. She could stand to loss a few pounds too - apparently "she" doesn't have a mirror!!!!!

I get so much encouragement from everyone here. I am so glad I found this site!

I was banded on September 13th and to date I have lost 25 lbs. Only 75 more to go! I am just starting to feel the difference in my clothes. I go for my first fill tomorrow! I sure hope it doesn't hurt too much!

Keep up the good work everyone!! We are worth it!

[green 6]

Yep, the weight issue is a loaded one because on one hand we do want to lose weight in order that we can blend with the rest of the folks out there and yet we also do want very much to be liked, admired, and respected for the people that we are, and not feel that all of this will be given to us or withheld depending on this shallow business of how many pounds of meat we are carrying.

[Chelle B 0]

In terms of your weight or appearance...what have been the doozies?

I'll start with this one, it's a double wammy!

Three weeks ago, DH and I visit his family. His grandfather sees my DH in his new outfit I got him for his birthday and sporting his new "do" that sort of gives him a bed head look. He says to me "If he keeps looking younger, people are going to think he's your son!"

Mind you, my DH is 5-6 years younger than I am.

I go home in a slight huff but try to figure it's just an old man not aware of what he says all the time, because he's never had a mean bone in his body that I've ever been aware of. I tell my mom about this and she says "ya...the more overweight you get, the older you're going to look."

My point being...I know I'm older than DH. I know I'm fatter than DH. Everyone else that has eyes can tell both of those too, though the age thing might be just a tad harder ( evidently not after DH got his new hip haircut)...why did they have to say anything....

I'm going to go shave my DH's head bald and get him some used sweatpants and a sloppy tee-shirt to wear to family functions from here on out. Maybe then, someone will think I've had plastic surgery and that it's doing me wonders! Course, I think having this LB is going to make them start to shush about my weight problem. I'm not telling them I've gotten one....I'm just hoping that they'll notice my efforts.

Now, help me find a few laughs out there. What have you heard that's been sort of "off-handed" or "back-handed" compliments? Lets try to make it more funny than bitchy if you can. I've got a few more that I'll post if this one takes off.

My loving father-in-law, seeing me after losing 75-80 lbs, when we went to dinner at Outback Steakhouse. "Well, Chelle, last year you wouldn't have fit in this booth at all!"

Loudly. I, uh, guess that was a compliment?

[green 6]

My maw-in-law, a woman with a superb body, has always over many years now made a point of reminding me that I am fat. She can be very rude. Sometimes I repay the favour by reminding her that I am intelligent (she worships brains); this way it works out about even.

But lately the balance is shifting. I have lost a lot of weight thanks to the band and I have just had a face lift. It will be interesting to see how she deals with this. :cool:

[BJean 16]

Both my parents in law and all of my DH's siblings are slender. In fact, several are downright skinny. When they first saw me after my 40 lb. loss, no one noticed. I guess since I'm still overweight, they are still overwhelmed by my mass. Creeps. I have a feeling that I still embarrass them. Creeps. :tired

I wish I could say they love me just for me, but being able to get your ass in skinny, heavily starched Wranglers is important to native Texans. Being a native Okie means never having to wear those uncomfortable crotch grabbers. Just give us a big Indian Chief blanket and we're ready to smoke pipes around the campfire. Hiya, hiya, hiya, hiya, hiya, hiya.

[ingyrob 1]

A woman I worked with said that her husband could not bear fat people and could not bear to have foods like cooking oil, butter or any kind of fat in the house. It made him shudder. She was a slim ,good looking woman, but her skin was like sandpaper. So rough and dry and I thought to myself no wonder!

Bjean I can't watch your dancing with the stars, but we have a similar programme in the UK and I have started to watch that. I think two of the judges we have here - Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioni - you also have in the US. If Kenny Rogers is a little aggressive he will have to go dont you think?

I think I am almost at the end of my dental treatment. The worst is over. I am having dental implants, much better than dentures.

[green 6]

BJean, you must stun the in-laws with your superior intellect. It worked for me. My maw-in-law is German and she is in the way of being a Jew-groupy. This is because she loves smart people and she figures that Jews have an edge. Of course her beliefs are really only reverse racism and thus utterly offensive but the wily and opportunistic Green feels no guilt about exploiting them. I have had troubles with some of my husband's anti-Semitic German in-laws and those tales would take a long time to tell.

In-laws sure are difficult. I used to dream of finding a deaf-mute orphan to love............ But I am lucky with my mate and I now have a reputation of being creative and high-strung. This means that I can opt out whenever I am not in the mood. Yippee!:whoo:

[anonemouse 1]

My loving father-in-law, seeing me after losing 75-80 lbs, when we went to dinner at Outback Steakhouse. "Well, Chelle, last year you wouldn't have fit in this booth at all!"

Loudly. I, uh, guess that was a compliment?

Ah, that reminds me of my family, one of my uncles, to be specific. His comment wasn't about my weight, though. I got an internship on Cape Cod at a wildlife refuge in the summer of 2004. Well, the summer after that (the next time I saw this uncle), he hugged me and said, "That was so great! I never thought you could do it." I was like, "Gee, thanks, Uncle Ed." On one hand, he was complimenting me, because I impressed him, but on the other, he had freakin' low expectations of me!

[Chelle B 0]

Ah, that reminds me of my family, one of my uncles, to be specific. His comment wasn't about my weight, though. I got an internship on Cape Cod at a wildlife refuge in the summer of 2004. Well, the summer after that (the next time I saw this uncle), he hugged me and said, "That was so great! I never thought you could do it." I was like, "Gee, thanks, Uncle Ed." On one hand, he was complimenting me, because I impressed him, but on the other, he had freakin' low expectations of me!

Another reason I miss my dad so much - he had very high expectations of me and a firm belief that I could accomplish anything I wanted. I see my FIL next week for the first time since Christmas - it will be interesting!

[ShineNSta 0]

One comment I received a while ago that was made with the best intentions by a Chinese (family friend) was 'Hello Jessica..you're looking very prosperous!!' (meaning eating well....!). Not a big deal in hind sight but I took it pretty badly at the time!

I've also had two different people ask me 'when I was due'!!

[wrk-n-prgrss 0]

My favorite was from an old co-worker I hadnt seen in awhile. He said, "Wow, you have lost a TON of weight, where is the other half of you?"

I could only think to reply, "Keith...there is a point it ceases to be a compliment"....then we laughed.

[L!NDS@Y 0]

HEY wrk-n-prgrss. your weight loss is amazing! I was the same start weight as you when I was banded. How long did it take to lose that much weight? I can't wait to be where you are. Keep up the great work!!! I've lost 22 lbs. so far, got a ways to go.