Whats the worst you've heard?

[travelgirl 3]

I told pretty much everyone about being banded. One of the men I work with is fascinated by the process, and is pretty supportive, and positive about it. BUT, he makes these comments that are meant to be compliments.... How would you take it?

"Wow, you can really tell how much you've lost in your face/neck/shoulder/upper chest area...."

To me, that means that "oh, you can't tell you've lost anything below your boobs" even though I've gone down from a VERY VERY tight 24 stretch jean to a loose 20, or sometimes 18, depending on the cut. I still have a spare tire around my tummy that just won't go away, so I'm sure that's what people see when they look for my weight loss. Makes me crazy.

[OH Juli 15]

This one makes me laugh more than anything.

I was driving my 75 year old step-father's mother back from a family event. She's been 250+ for 40 years. I'm a lesbian.

She asks me if I'm a lesbian because I'm fat and can't get a man?

I asked where she's been hiding her female lover all these years?

Oi.

[hopefull loser 0]

About two years ago, my MIL I 'guess' was trying to bond with me while future hubby and his brother and gf were along for a ride, lunch and shopping. MIL pulls my arm and drags me into a LB store and tells the brother's GF that this store is 'just for us.'

Picture me mortified. I hate shopping anyway and she just made it worse. Now that time has passed, we can all three shop in LB. lucky us!

To make some matters worse, this GF is now my SIL. I was recently chatting with her on a vacation and we were discussing our MIL. We both hate when MIL says we have anything in common with her( because MIL is pretty evil at times). My SIL tells me that our MIL says that MIL and I shop at LB, and that's what we have in common, but it's because we 'have to.'

Ya...I'm pretty happy I'm banded....now THEY can have so much more in common soon when I'm shopping at the GAP and Eddie Bauer.

[conniesueb 1]

I can remember running into an old friend(guy) that I grew up with, and he said "Oh, i didn't know you were pregnant!" and I told himI wasn't, that I was just fat. He won't believe me and keeps saying "no, really, c'mon, really?" I was so embarrassed! And of course the old stand-by--"You have such a pretty face!" Yeah, but apparantly the rest of me looks like total crap! Even now, that I am 74 pounds thinner--the other day, I ran into someone I know, and she starts yelling--"Oh my God--you've lost a TON of weight--you look amazing!" NOw, I know that's suppossed to be a compliment, but all these other people in hte store were staring at me probably thinking what a huge cow I must have been before! I am not Thin by any means, but Ijust wish people wouldn't make a scene when they see me for the first time in a while!

[tlambright1986 0]

yea well i always get " you have such a beautiful face and skin" yea you cant just say you are beautiful..

just tell me yea.. your fat but you have a cute smile lol

people just dont think

[Marimaru 7]

I told pretty much everyone about being banded. One of the men I work with is fascinated by the process, and is pretty supportive, and positive about it. BUT, he makes these comments that are meant to be compliments.... How would you take it?

"Wow, you can really tell how much you've lost in your face/neck/shoulder/upper chest area...."

To me, that means that "oh, you can't tell you've lost anything below your boobs" even though I've gone down from a VERY VERY tight 24 stretch jean to a loose 20, or sometimes 18, depending on the cut. I still have a spare tire around my tummy that just won't go away, so I'm sure that's what people see when they look for my weight loss. Makes me crazy.

I think this really is a compliment. I don't think he's saying he doesn't see the changes in the other areas, there are just some areas that really stand out as you lose weight. There are bones in your face and your collar bones n' stuff that start to show as you lose weight, and, you know, your tummy and other areas just kind of get smaller. I actually really love looking at these areas on my body and seeing how they turn out. My wrists, ankles, collar bones, etc, are all starting to be nicely defined. I hope that helps.

I'm fortunate in that I don't get too many backhanded comments. My mother actually told me once that I was getting HUGE. I know she was trying to wake me up, but it just sucked. I have another friend, who I sometimes can't tell what she really thinks. She always says things like "oh you're melting away!" or when I'm eating and start to get full she laughs and says "you're so cute!'. She's like 350lbs or so I think, and I can't tell if she's really happy for me, or if she is saying those things to mask jealousy, or what. I love her to death, and I know she'd never try to say anything to hurt me, but I don't talk with her about my surgery or my weight unless she brings it up, because I'd feel like I was kind of rubbing it in her face, whether she felt that way or not.

"You'd be really pretty if you lost weight" seems to be pretty standard.

One I've been liking lately, is that I look younger as I lose weight. I'm not sure how that works, and I'm only 25, so I don't really need to look much younger than I do, but hopefully it's a good sign for 10 years from now, lol.

[travelgirl 3]

Thanks, Sarah, that makes me feel better.

BTW, you were positively GLOWING in your wedding dress! Any more pics posted yet?

[green 6]

I started gaining weight after I hit menopause at the early age of 41. Like my mother I gained all my weight on my torso and this means that my legs and arms remained relatively normal sized. My mum used to say that she looked like a pregnant spider and that is how I gained my weight, too. So of course over the years I would get lots of people congratulating me on my pregnancy....! My payback was to tell 'em that that I was post-menopausal and just fat. It is always fun to watch people squirm. But to tell you the truth I wasn't offended by their comments for the truth was that I did look pregnant and these folks were just trying to be nice.

I did have a punk street kid snarl at me that I was fat one time when I was walking home. My reaction time was a little slow that day because what I wanted to say to her was, "so what! I'm old and I am post menopausal. People gain weight. That's life."

To tell you the truth, in general people were pretty careful not to disrespect me on the basis of my weight. The only person who was beating me up about my weight was myself. I got to the point where I just couldn't stand myself. The band has been a very good thing for me.

[Marimaru 7]

travelgirl, there's a link on that thread now :scalesno:

I'm glad that helps. I'm always telling people to look at those parts of their body, because that's where the biggest changes seem to appear (especially in the evil mirror!!)

[KariK 0]

I told pretty much everyone about being banded. One of the men I work with is fascinated by the process, and is pretty supportive, and positive about it. BUT, he makes these comments that are meant to be compliments.... How would you take it?

"Wow, you can really tell how much you've lost in your face/neck/shoulder/upper chest area...."

To me, that means that "oh, you can't tell you've lost anything below your boobs" even though I've gone down from a VERY VERY tight 24 stretch jean to a loose 20, or sometimes 18, depending on the cut. I still have a spare tire around my tummy that just won't go away, so I'm sure that's what people see when they look for my weight loss. Makes me crazy.

I think it was meant as a compliment too, because he probably didn't want to say anything about your body because .. you might have thought he was being inappropriate and checking you out! lol really he probably was.

[lornajh 0]

Another interesting comment: I did a Protein sparing fast for 12 weeks and lost 44lbs. Upon seeing an acqaintance while shopping, she stepped back aghast and said, "You've lost a TREMENDOUSamount of weight!"

[OH Juli 15]

I told pretty much everyone about being banded. One of the men I work with is fascinated by the process, and is pretty supportive, and positive about it. BUT, he makes these comments that are meant to be compliments.... How would you take it?

"Wow, you can really tell how much you've lost in your face/neck/shoulder/upper chest area...."

To me, that means that "oh, you can't tell you've lost anything below your boobs" even though I've gone down from a VERY VERY tight 24 stretch jean to a loose 20, or sometimes 18, depending on the cut. I still have a spare tire around my tummy that just won't go away, so I'm sure that's what people see when they look for my weight loss. Makes me crazy.

Again to give the guy some slack, if I may. If he had said, "Looks like your t!ts and as$ are getting smaller/firmer/tighter." you could sue him considering you work together. Also, talking about your body below your chin just isn't comfortable for some fellas.

And, I too get, "wow, I can really see it in your face!" Which is where I see it the most too. I feel like I'm melting from the top down.

HTH

[TracyK 3]

My worst...

"When are you due?"

I am not pregnant!!!

AND...you have such a pretty face!!

[FELICIA17 0]

When my FH and I first moved into our house and were talking to one of the neighbors, she thought he was my "son".... I was so ashamed and embarassed, we are only 1yr apart in age. I know fat makes you look old, but did I look THAT old?? But actually her comment made me finally decide to do something about my weight and get the band.

[cazulay 0]

You have such a pretty face just really sucks... I know people are trying to be nice and pay you a compliment but to be it really means You have a horrendous body. Yes, I know I do, and no I am not proud of it so will you please stop reminding of the fact

My mom is always on my nerves about my weight, she can make pretty hurtful comments. And her sisters too. I actually stopped talking to my aunts altogether,just couldn't take it anymore. As for my mom, she really eased up after I started avoiding her, so we're back to normal again. But talking to her about my weight is still very hard and painful.

Also, I am a special ed. and my little guys are always making comments like " Why do you have so much flab hanging from your arms?" and " You really do look pregnant ( after I assure them I am not)" they are only 5-7 years-old and special needs but still hurts my feelings.