compliments that are not compliments....

[devillynn 193]

I don't know if any of you have ever dealt with this kind of thing before but....I have a couple ...well i was going to say friends but they aren't really friends...women I know...that make complimnents to me but the way they say them to me i don't really think they mean them as compliments and when they say them they look at ewach other with this look on their faces like you know they are being bitches about it. I am so over this BS. I really want to knock the hell out of them and walk away smiling to myself....buuuttttt it is at work and i can't afford to be unemployed. Help me deal with this drama folks - I'm really about to lose my shit over here.....

"Don't you look skinny today" (look at each other)

"You have lost so much weight i bet your husband just LOVES your new body" (wink wink) (looks at each other all ugly)

"so be honest don't you feel better now that you aren't so fat?" (for real....sigh...just said to me 15 minutes ago...i am reallly trying not bitchslap a ho right now)

"So now that you lost all that weight are you going to start getting pedicures?" (like i was afraid to get my feet done before WTF????)

"I have a friend and she would love to talk to you about losing weight can i give her your number - oh wait you had surgery...nvermind..."

and on and on....I asked one of them this morning if she was serious and she said yes...don't you like talking about your success? i told her i felt like they were not being sincere and she said but you know we are your friends and we love you...(gag) so anyway - I needed to vent before i killed someone and you all so me on yahoo or something...but really the nerve of people...why do they feel so free to say that kind of stuff to me?? ANd for the record i am not that friendly......hahahahaha

[AvaFern 3,516]

Why do you still talk to them? I have found that distancing myself immediately and significantly from people who do not know how to act like adults sends a faster and clearer message than having a chat with them about their comments. Outside of professional purposes, don't talk to these women. Don't go to lunch with them. Don't take breaks with them. When you see them in the hall or around the office, politely smile and walk past them. People respond far better to being cut out of your life than they do to being called out, as much as the latter of the two options provides much more immediate gratification. If they happen to make a comment you find offensive, look at them, give them an "are you serious right now" look, and then immediately walk away. If they don't learn to be professional and legitimately polite, then they aren't in your life, however if they do learn to mind their manners, you can slowly let them back in.

[devillynn 193]

you are so right! I have tried to just be distantly polite but that is sooooo not working!!

[raqdabells 9]

It sounds like they are envious of your success and miserable so they are trying to give you backhand compliments just to push your buttons.

Stay away from them as much as you can unless it is for work related things.
Negative people like that are just seeking to down other people to try and make themselves feel better.

[devillynn 193]

true! and i have for sre been letting them push my butttons!! LOL!

[A'sgotthis 49]

"People respond far better to being cut out of your life than they do to being called out."

LOVE IT!

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

1. "I DO look skinny today! And HEY! I don't just LOOK it, I am SKINNY TODAY!!!"

2. "Hubs DOES love my new body, does YOURS? Might be time for a change!"

3. " I DO feel better being slimmer. Do you?" (and give that famous up-and-down all-knowing look while you're at it!)

4. "Why, yes! I will get a pedicure. Want to join me, I see you're due, as well!"

5. "Oh, please, give her my number. Maybe this time it will work for her!"

[devillynn 193]

i love it!!! i needed a good laugh!!!

[cruummbs 36]

Tell them jealous ho's not to say anything to you or your skinny ass..will ###*** them up!!!!

[VSGmary 418]

You can respond, yes ive lost a lot of weight then look at them sternly and say but unfortunately your manners are still very ugly indeed! Then just walk away, if that doesnt stop them then im afraid nothing will!

Best of luck to you

[devillynn 193]

thank you all so much! this morning i walked right past both of them and didn't even look at them. it felt so good. (cruummbs - i am always keeping my options open!! hahahah) Y'all have a good day - and thanks for helping get thru a tough time yesterday!!!

[KingMoose 238]

I am an athletics coach at a local High School, all of my co-workers and athletes are men or teenagers. I have coached with these guys for 7 years and for all the years until this last October I weighed north of 375 lbs and as high as 397lbs. I coach the offensive line for the football team and looked the part. Now that I am 140lbs lighter they bust my balls all in fun (because that is what we do) keep saying that I am too small to be a line coach and I now look like a wide reciever and need to coach that position. Everybody I associate with is very positive and supportive in my path to being more healthy and give me nothing but positive feedback on my success. We spend a lot of time together on and off the field and they see the real struggle that I have dealt with prior to my surgery and the success I have had since. Surround yourself with a circle that is positive, uplifting and supportive. Ignore the ignorant comments made by uneducated people. They are not worth your time or energy. When you stress over what they say you just give them free rent and space inside your head. Good luck with the co-workers and if all else fails remember today is "Throat Punch Thursday"!

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

@@KingMoose

I'm having this feeing men in general aren't as nasty as women regarding this kind of stuff. But man, I'd hate to be around you guys during "Throat Punch Thursday"!!!!!

[KingMoose 238]

Hahaha no we man are A-holes to each other and are not ashamed to tell each other off. But, women are just catty and mean especially when it comes to another woman looking "good". They may feel threatened by your "new" physical attractiveness.

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Response to a rude question "Why on earth would you want to know?"

Response to a rude statement: "Why would you care?"