It's a journey, not a destination

[gowalking 10,790]

I'm starting to see more posts from folks with stalls, or gaining some weight back, or I'm 'X' pounds away from goal and I want to kindly remind everyone that weight is a number. It's the way the medical community determines success/failure with weight loss surgery.

It should not be our way of determining success or failure. Stop getting on the scale. Focus on the non scale victories. We have them daily. You just have to be aware of them. Even with myself being in the maintenance stage, I still have NSVs. I just am not always aware of them and then when I am, it's as good as the first NSV.

I've been on this forum for more than two years. I provide my stats just so other morbidly obese folks can see that WLS works. No other reason. I don't weigh myself anymore. I know by what I've eaten, how I'm doing. I know by the fit of my clothes, how I'm doing. I know I'm successful because I can walk again when I was almost wheelchair bound. I know I'm successful because I am healthier than I've been in almost 20 years. I know I'm successful because I look people in the eye again. I know I'm successful because I care about how I look again. I know I'm successful because I am actually out there dating again. I know I'm successful because I can take trips with my family and not be a burden. I know I'm successful because I can put my leg up on the bench in the shower and shave my legs again. I know I'm successful because I can sit in a chair with arms.

Shall I go on? Do you get it now? As the weight drops...quickly or slowly or in a non-linear fashion, we experience all types of NSVs. Focus on those. Enjoy your lives, you are making choices to be better. Even if you falter, you can get back on track. You have the tools so know that every day is a new beginning and today is the day to pay attention to how much healthier/happier you are now than before.

Have a good day today and be kind to yourselves. I'm heading out in a couple of hours to see my new grandson born this past Thursday. I can get on the train with no problems, climb the stairs at the train station without worrying if I'll make it or not, not worry about how big the hospital is because I can walk without pain, and hold the baby in my arms and know that I will be the most active grandma this kid will ever know. Come look for me....I'll be the little lady in the park climbing the monkey bars with her grandson in a few years. That my friends, is success.

[glitter eyes 1,398]

@@gowalking What a wonderful post!! You are so right this is a lifelong experience and its so easy to get hung up on the scale and the numbers. Success is defined by more than that.

I haven't lost any weight in the last month and really wanted to lose 11 more so I can be at a normal BMI. It was bothering me up until this week when I decided to ditch the numbers game and focus on my successes too.

I am fit and strong now. I am more adventurous. My body is healthy and I feel great. So even if I never reach my number goal I consider myself a success.

You are an inspiration. Have a great day!!

[jthelwell 14]

I LOVE IT! Congrats on the new you! Life is what you make it and being true to you is how you will succeed. I'm so proud of you and your accomplishments. You've motivated yourself to another level and did away with the mind telling you that you can't do it. You are a true example of Yes, I Can!

[DoneItForMe 31]

Well said. I have always believed how I feel is far more important than what appears on the scale and I feel fantastic.

Congratulations on the birth of your grandson and for some reason I think you are going to be one rocking grandma!!

[AvaFern 3,516]

I enjoyed this post! Ideally I can get to a point where you are where you can just relax and know you're doing the right thing. I am obsessive about the scale. I hit goal on April 1, but now I revised it to 10 pounds less because that was my old goal. I do well with quantitative goals...I don't care if my pants are loose- I need that number to show up on the scale! I feel like the scale gives me a lot of control. I have a regular scale that I had since the start of surgery so that is the one I base my official weight loss off of, but I also have an Aria scale because I thought it was cool that it syncs to MyFitnessPal. Of course the Aria scale is always a bit higher than my regular scale, so I record both the numbers. Sometimes the difference is a few points, while sometimes it's over a pound. Using both scales keeps me feeling confident that I am on the right track and maintaining and it leaves me less time to stress out over whether or not I may have gained from enjoying a bite of cookie or a glass of wine. Also, when the day goes badly at work or otherwise, I look at that number on the scale and I say, well, I'm 128 pounds and 2 years ago I was 230-ish...the day could really be going much worse than it is.

So...I am jealous that you are so laid back! I wouldn't mind being like that.

[IcanMakeit 1,318]

@@gowalking, Congratulations on the birth of your grandson. Grandchildren are the reward we get for not leaving our kids on an ice floe when they drive us nuts.

I enjoyed and agree with your post except for one thing. Although I didn't weigh myself daily in the losing phase, I'm getting a big kick out of checking my weight every day and finding that it's not a fantasy, I really do weigh this amount. I know it's immature and shallow, but I was so big for so long that I'm like a kid at an amusement park now. I want to jump for joy when I weigh myself.

And on a practical note, weighing myself daily keeps me accountable. When I lost almost this much weight 15 years ago, I didn't maintain the loss for a hot minute. As soon as I stopped losing, I started gaining. I'm determined to keep that from happening again. And weighing every day is part of my strategy.

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

@@gowalking

You are SOOOOOO awesome, and thanks for the encouraging, INSPIRING words! Just needed that today!!!

[KateP 359]

Yes and no! I certainly agree we should Celebrate success and that success Is not a number. And this is indeed a life change not a diet.

But for me, that worked for four or five years. What I find now is that the scale is more important than it was when I was losing. I have a great many online friends who, like me, have been in maintenance for years,and we all, every one of us, rely on very regular weighing, daily or weekly to monitor our weight, those who post to say they have regained significant amounts are almost always those who don't monitor their weight.

I have had three episodes of regain in nine years, and each time it was when I stopped weighing,

[MichiganChic 3,262]

@@gowalking great message, and congratulation on your success. You achieved it your way, and by your own definition.

My measure of success looks different on some levels than yours, and exactly the same in others. For me, the number on the scale does have meaning. It meant something at 300 and it means something different now at 163. I would not be able to live the full and active life I do now if I still weighed 300+. I have weighed myself every single day since surgery, and I will continue to do so. If I didn't, I would likely gain weight before I even realized it. I can eat a lot, and I gain weight fast. Ignoring the scale is a recipe for disaster for me.

I'm not saying people should do it my way, just that there are many ways to achieve and measure our success.

[Djmohr 6,965]

For me, daily weighing gives me information I need to continue on my path. It is one of my barometers that lets me know if I am still on track. I also use tools like my Fitbit and my fitness pal to keep me moving forward.

It is way too easy to simply stop tracking and suddenly I will have gained weight and not know why or when it happened.

This is what works for some of us.

Now, I totally agree if in fact I could not handle the stalls/breaks my body has taken along the journey. If I would freak out, I would have to stop weighing daily. But I don't, if I don't lose anything for 10 days to 2 weeks I know I have to really look closely at why and make some adjustments.

I can do that with a logical approach and move forward.

I now have a number goal I would like to get to. That number goal puts me at a healthy weight for my height and age.

[gowalking 10,790]

What great responses. And I agree that if weighing daily is what helps, then do it. I just meant that we should enjoy the successes along the way rather than just focusing on the end goal only. Every day there is something to appreciate even if we've stalled or gained some weight back and that's what I hope people take from my post. We should enjoy the improvements we see whenever we notice them. Whether we are 5 lbs. from goal, or 105 lbs. from goal.

For me, the amount of weight I've lost has meaning..not necessarily what I weigh. I lost 150 lbs. and in the process, gained my life back. For this I am so very grateful and I wanted to remind folks who may be struggling to know that there are several measures of success, not just a number on the scale. Thanks again everyone!

[B-52 7,113]

Being a Diabetic (post) and because my cholesterol, lipids, etc, were so high, I developed Coronary Artery Disease...in other words my fat content was so high it was oozing throughout my arteries to the point I had one Heart Attack, (and cardiac Surgery).....and diabetes on top of that because it is fat that makes one insulin resistant.

I was seeing as many as 5 Dr.'s all on a 4 month rotation, and every one of them insisted it was the high fat % that was literally killing me.

So for me, it was all about a #...and not in pounds or worthless BMI's...but in Body Fat %...how much of my weight was actual Fat Content...and because of the band I got that # down to within the lowest range...Athletic.

Needless to say my Diabetes has reversed, no more Endocrinologist....and I am the talk of my cardiologists office when I show up...which is only once a year now for a routine visit. My Arteries are clear, excellent circulation.

I also see my Bariatric Surgeon only once a year now, although I can call any one of them if I develop symptoms or have complaints.

I do consider this a journey, I also consider myself as finishing that journey.

From years with the band everything has become a way of life, a new lifestyle, not worrying about what I can and cannot eat, taking all that for granted now.

For the way I approached this, there is no such thing as maintenance. Not sure how I could do that, possible get Fluid taken out of my band so I can eat more??

I also have no weight left to lose...BMI says I'm overweight, but my body Fat % could not be better and to lose any more weight would be self destructive.

But I also understand reading posts from people who fret with just about everything....people do need to relax and let this thing play out....we did not get fat in 2-4 months, and we are not going to get back to normal in 2-4 months....

But with a little patience, this thing does work!!! Some people need to get out of the way and let it do it's magic.

Just my 2 cents.

[Julie norton 2,850]

Great thread... So inspiring...

I gather we are all a bit different in our habits, but if you FEEL you are pleased with your body size, scale number, pant size, fat % ,whatever your yardstick for success... Thank WLS !! And your new habits!

I , for one, know in my soul I could never lose and KEEP off 100 pounds

I thank the posters here who inspire me almost everyday... ????

I am sincerely thankful for my "Normal" size... (Whatever that is to each of us)

[TinyMamiOf3kids 1,280]

Idk how to click the thumbs up. This post is awesome. I dont weight my self like befote,but due to my tiny self I have to be alert due to being anemic. Im careful of the scale & food. I'm over all proud of my self & everyone in here. Its a life change that we did. As long as we dont fall back on old habbits we will be a success. Congrats to the grandma to be. I will also be a grandma of a 18 year old teenager & im 36 years old.

[lisaanewme67 123]

@@gowalking I have to say a very BIG THANK YOU for your encouraging words and this post. For the past couple of years trying to lose weight on my own, I would eat better, work out 5-6 days a week. I literally did everything I that I COULD DO to be my best me and not gain anymore weight. The scale was the enemy that would tell me that all of my hard work meant nothing because it really did not move in my favor. Being hypothyroid, High Blood Pressure, Diabetic and High Cholesterol I couldn't win for losing. I never would allow myself to be weighed at my MD appointments because I knew that my mind would play tricks on my. "see all that sacrificing Snacks & your favorite pizza at the party meant nothing"... "Working out after work instead of relaxing catching up on your shows was a waste of your time.. I told you" . That scale was the devil I swear. I basically judged by milestones by how I began to feel everyday, if my clothes wasn't snugged. I feel I have done everything I could plus learned alot about making healthier choices, resting, staying active than ever before. It is NOT about the scale but so much more. Breaking milestones, overcoming defeat, learning what worked for me. In the past, I only felt my worth was in the numbers and if it didn't read on the scale, it was nothing.

With being diagnosed with my medical conditions, I have learned to have to confidence, educate myself and simply listen to my body and what works for me. I push myself to be active, eat better and motivate myself regardless. Now the scale don't indicate my worth. I just laugh at it either way and keep doing my BEST!!

With my requirements being completed (after my sleep study tomorrow night). My surgery will be early June and I know I have the tools mentally to DO THIS WORK and maintain. I am so grateful for this site and all of you that keep sharing, posting and encouraging. Also so happy to find someone else who share my feelings on this topic.

KUDOS and Thanks, Congrats on your progress...