Counting my Good Fortunes

[whippledaddy 5]

The alarm rang at 3:00 A.M. today. It's on the other side of the room so that I must throw off the warm covers and let the morning chill help to pull me up through the thick gravy of sleep to the waking world. The alarm rings a little longer these days since I've gained forty odd pounds in the last year.

I staggered to Patty's room (yes we have separate rooms, my sleep apnea noises keep her awake, and there just isn't room for her hospital bed plus the twin in either of our tiny bedrooms.) and gently kissed her awake.

She was a bundle of nerves. She got her bath and got dressed. At 4:30 A.M. her Mom pulled into the drive. Then I kissed her goodbye and watched them drive away.

You see, she's having surgery today. She must ride three hundred miles to Cleveland Clinic, undergo a five hour procedure, then be in the hospital down there for at least three more days.

This is the first time she's had surgery without me there. This is the first time she's gone through something like this without me there. Part of me thought I would enjoy this little break. Some "me" time for a change. Part of me was wrong.

I talked to her on the phone after they got to the hospital room. She's doing fine. I'm not, I feel like something necessary has been amputated. You see, she insisted on my not going. She didn't want me to burn any time. She has done an about face on my time off after surgery. She wants to make sure that I have as much time as I need.

Any wonder why I love her so? I don't know what changed her mind. I just know it changed.

So, here I am, counting my blessings, and lurking at LBT. This place is my salvation, sometimes. Here I can laugh, and cry, and just be. Here I don't worry about being macho, or anything I'm not. Only myself.

I surely don't know where I would be without my wife and without this place. As I think I've said here before, Chefs make friends but only for a time. My best and dearest friend is in the mountains in New Mexico, and we can only talk on the phone every week or so.

But now I have new friends. Warm caring people, and I can hear the lilt of their cyber voices in my mind whenever I want. With the click of a mouse I can come to a safe and warm place, like hot chocolate for the soul.

Thank you all for being you. Thank you for letting me be me. I think I'll go lurk some more, while I count my blessings, and miss my love.

[New Hope 37]

Ryan, what type of surgery is Patty having? You listen better than I do. I would have been trailing right behind her. Sure hope everything goes as you expected!

[whippledaddy 5]

She's having a Tunneled Epidural Catheter placed. It's one of the more radical treatments for RSD.

The catheter is in place, and by now they are administering the first mixture for the drip.

The catheter will stay in place in her epidural space for six weeks. Then she will have it removed. In the meantime she will have home health care helping her. The doc put this off as long as he could as invading her body is very chancey. She has MRSA, and no surgery can be done until the risk is worth it.

It isn't that I listen all that well. But her nickname is "She Who Must Be Obeyed" for a reason, lol.

[New Hope 37]

Ryan, what is RSD? What are you hoping the drip will do for this? What is MRSA?

[whippledaddy 5]

RSD: Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy, or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome.

It's a problem of the Sympathetic nervous system. It most usually manifests after an injury to the neck or shoulder area. It affects only limbs, and poses no direct threat to life, though if undetected for a prolonged period it can led to paralyisis, even quadraplegia.

Simply put it is pain for no good reason. Something that should feel pleasureable is painful. A gentle warm wind upon an affected limb feels like it is immersed in boiling Water. As you can see this causes the patient to feel cut off from loved ones who can no longer hug or caress them. There is no cure, only treatment. The earlier it is diagnosed, the better the rebound will be and the more normal the life the patient will end up living.

Patty's RSD is in her right leg, and right arm. Since her shoulder is severely damaged, and there are bone spurs in the joint itself, the arm is difficult to manage. Each little movement will cause an RSD flareup. She has a Neurostimulator in her lumbar and thoracic spine to keep the RSD in check in her right leg. This was necessary as it was very swollen and the swelling couldn't be brought under control.

The Tunnelled Epidural Catheter will place powerful pain meds directly on the nerves involved, allowing for a huge dose to the affected area, with only minimal doses for the entire body. This reduces side effects and lets the nerves be directly medicated by steroids and narcs without sending them systme wide and causing more harm to the body than pain relief.

MRSA is a type of staph infection that is resistant to antibiotics. So far she has responded well to Vancomycin, and should it become resistant to that, there is at least one more big antibiotic gun to use. If it mutates enough and becomes resistant to all antibiotics death is usually imminent. It is easier to contract it after you've got it once.

Probably TMI but these things seem so complex that simple answers don't do them justice.

Thanks for asking.

[leatha_g 4]

Ryan,

I really hope your wife's procedure went well and this will help her to regain some semblance of quality of life. Sounds like she's really had a tough time. God Bless you both!

Leatha

[Iluvharleys 15]

Ryan - My prayers are with you and your wife.

[La_madam 20]

Ryan...you are an inspiration to me. Your words hit close to home. You may not be with your wife in the physical sense but both she and you know you are there in her heart and soul, I hope everything goes well for her...I know all to well what is is like to have your spouse suffer in pain every waking day.hopefully this surgery will give her some comfort... My thoughts are with both of you during this difficult time.

[NancySmiles 2]

I can feel just how much you love your wife in ever word.....you are both so very lucky to have each other for support....I just know things will go well...for both of you........

My thoughts and prayers are with you.........and remember Gog doesn't give us more than we can handle....so you will both be there to take care of each other.....

Hang in there........good things come to those who wait!

Nancy*

XOXOXOXOOX

[Zoe 6]

Ryan, I hope Patty heals quickly and is back by your side ASAP. . . and how wonderful that she has decided you need the extra time off after your own surgery. Do you have enough vacation days to rush down to Cleveland if you just can't stand the empty house another second? If not, we'll try to take care of you through the cyber ether until the two of you are home together again.

[Theresa Marie 0]

Ryan, what a remarkable person you are. You express emotion so vividly. My prayers are with you and your wife. I pray everything will go smoothly for her and she will find some relief from her pain. You have less than a month until your surgery; I hope she will be home, comfortable, and in less pain so you will be able to relax and focus on your healing after your surgery. I pray November will be a new beginning for you both.

Please keep posting; you are a true inspiration. Give your friend a call in the mountains, and please remember all of your friends here too. You are very valuable member of this family as we all grow in our lives and shrink in our clothes. :-) Take care, Theresa Marie

[New Hope 37]

Ryan, thanks for explaining so well! We live in a wonderful age where so many things are now possible. I certainly hope the steps being taken will help your wife regain her life. Sending healing thoughts to you and her!

[whippledaddy 5]

Sending healing thoughts to you and her!

Thanks, a little Reiki sure couldn't hurt!

[paula 4]

Ryan, Ive learned that the caregiver needs just as many prayers as the patient....

so I too, pray for both of you.

You know, the reason we all feel so comfortable in this place has to do with acceptance! Its our greatest need in life... to be accepted. Here in this place, we all accept each other as we are. Doesnt matter if one is edcuated or not, rich or poor, big or little, banded or NOT banded.... Its a place of TOTAL acceptance.

I cant find this anywhere else..... not in my neighborhood, not in my family, not in my church, not even among friends, and CERTAINLY not in my in-laws!

Sorry Ryan, I certainly didnt mean to "steal the show"....... I just felt compelled to share that thought.

God bless you!

[Neicy 0]

Ryan, I am hoping that Patty's surgery will give her relief. My prayers and best wishes are with you both.