Who all did you tell?

[KimmiKae 0]

Thanks for this thread. Good to read.

[vwdriver95 11]

I was recently approached my a church member who to "speak to me privately" ....oh goody. ????. Well she started to talk about my weight loss and how she didn't know if I had WLS or not, but that she was going to have gastric bypass. Long pause on my part because I couldn't think of what to say back and then I just fessed up. Kinda annoyed I did it, it is not anyone's business. Hopefully she will keep her promise not to tell anyone else.

[bikrchk 1,313]

I told everyone. For me and for them. For me, because I'm not ashamed in the slightest for taking control of my health and having others know, (even those who may disagree with my decision) helps me. The ones that are on my side are my cheerleaders and there's no better motivation for me than to prove a hater wrong!

For them, because being open reduces the stigma of obesity and helps me mentor others who may be struggling. For them because, yes, this was\is WORK, but reality is that I have a tool others who are struggling with weight don't have and if they are comparing my progress with theirs, it's just not a fair comparison.

[blashlee 509]

I was recently approached my a church member who to "speak to me privately" ....oh goody. . Well she started to talk about my weight loss and how she didn't know if I had WLS or not, but that she was going to have gastric bypass. Long pause on my part because I couldn't think of what to say back and then I just fessed up. Kinda annoyed I did it, it is not anyone's business. Hopefully she will keep her promise not to tell anyone else.

UGH. This happened to me recently. The 100th person at work asked me about my weight loss and i just snapped "I had weight loss surgery." in a somewhat annoyed tone LOL i'm over it at this point. If it gets around the office, good for it. I never lied about it. When people asked me what I was doing to lose weight I said I was working with a doctor and a personal trainer. Which is 100% true.

[dbfn 67]

I HAVE TO SHARE THIS. I TOLD ONLY DR, FIANCE, AND MY KIDS, WHEN I WENT TO MY REGULAR DR, WHO SUGGESTED THE SURGERY, ABOUT TWO MONTHS OUT, WHEN HIS NURSE (WHO I KNOW OUTSIDE OF THE DR. OFFICE) FOUND OUT THAT I HAD THE SURGERY IN JANUARY, HER COMMENT WAS, " YOU'VE LOST 50 POUNDS, AND YOU HAD THE SURGERY, HERE I THOUGHT YOU HAD BEEN DIETING REALLY HARD". I HAD TO BRING IT TO HER ATTENTION THAT I LOST 30 ON MY OWN BEFORE SURGERY AND 20 AFTER SURGERY AND THAT YESI HAD BEEN WORKING HARD......SHE AND OTHER PEOPLE LIKE THE SURGERY IS JUST A BREEZE, TICKED ME OFF SO BAD. EVEN SOME PEOPLE IN THE MEDICAL PROFESSION DON'T UNDERSTAND IT AND VIEW IT AS THE EASY WAY OUT OR THE MAGIC WAND. I'M STILL ILL ABOUT IT AND SO GLAD I CHOSE NOT TO TELL ANYONE.

That so perfectly sums up why I told just my husband, one of my sisters and my son. There us so much negativity out there from people who make assumptions based on what they THINK they know about this process, and the fact that someone in the medical field can get it so wrong just makes my head hurt!

I'm a very private person and decided early on in the process that I wanted to keep it under my hat.

Also, when I'd lost weight in the past (about 25kg a few years back through diet/exercise), every second person seemed to think it was OK to interrogate me about how much I'd lost, what I weighed now (which I came to the conclusion was their round about way of saying "so just how fat were you?" without actually asking the question), what I was doing to lose the weight, etc.

The questions and comments didn't come from just close friends and family, there were people who were friends of friends, people at the office who were in different departments and probably barely knew my first name, the girl at the local coffee shop ... and they all had an opinion on what I was doing right (or wrong). Oh, and if I had a dollar for every time someone said "you're doing it the 'right way' so you'll keep the weight off" I'd have quite a healthy bank balance!

Besides, I figure the "right way" is any way that actually works. That 25kg weight-loss didn't stick, the weight loss I've had from surgery (14kg in the leadup to my op, 40kg since) has stuck.

One of my colleagues -- someone who doesn't know me well enough to have met my husband or socialised with me outside of work -- sat down across the table from me at a senior staff meeting a few months ago and asked straight out: "how much do you weigh now?" My response was to ask if it was a round-table discussion on our weight, and if so she could start us off by giving us her weight. She's not asked again since.

I really don't understand why people think it's ok to ask something so personal, and so publicly.

Anyway, that's how I handled it. And when I get the inevitable questions on how I've lost weight, I just give the honest but not particularly detailed answer: I'm just working on having a healthier lifestyle.

[AJ cowgirl 79]

I told everyone except for one of my siblings, it's kind of funny that I really wanted just feel like I can do a reveal for him. He's been the sibling that is always been a highly critical bully to me all of my life. I think part of my issue is I want to make sure that I lose the weight and I'm not one of those statistic people that fail VSG. My InterVoice always tells me if I don't do well it'll just be another level of criticism from him. So I can understand both ways and I'm "OK"with him actually finding out from other people I just didn't want to be the one to directly say. I would much rather see him at the holidays when I'm a lot thinner and act like it's no big deal and not even mention the word surgery if it doesn't come up. If it does, but I might say that it's none of his business. Because then I'm sure all eyes will be on my plate at Christmas dinner

Edited July 31, 2015 by AJ cowgirl