Am I Just Being Vain

[cantseemytoes 49]

I've been reading so many posts on here that I finally got up the courage to post my own story. I'm 5'2" and 39 yr old with 40 ready to break down my door next month.

I was not an overweight kid. I was active and ate the very common Hispanic dinner of chicken, rice and Beans every night. My mother did not spend money on chips, soda, or eating a fast food places. I gained about 10 lbs at the end of high school when I dropped the dance team and got a job at mcdonals. Then I gained the "freshmen 15", then I started going out with friends alot, then I started dating my husband and before I knew what happened I had gone from 120 to 200. 15 years and 3 kids later, I ballooned to 310lbs at my heaviest. I've managed to get down to @270 lbs since then.

My issue is.... am I just being vain? I don't have any of the medical issues that plague most people at my weight (yet). I've even done 5k walks to raise money for various causes, mudruns, and the Avon 2 Day Walk for Breast Cancer. Most people say they want surgery to help with medical issues, but I just want to feel confident with myself. I know the surgery will help avoid future issues, but are my current motives wrong? The doctors say it's good for me to do this now, before anything serious comes up, but I feel guilty because there are so many people that have serious medical problems.

[AvaFern 3,516]

You are not being vain. To start off with, at 270 you may not have medical issues right now, but you will in the future. If you can avoid ever having to go through unhealthy comorbidities in the future, why not do so? I did not have any healthy issues and at my pre-surgery weight of 237 I was well into the morbid obesity phase. All through my teens and twenties I gained and lost weight, usually 50-80 pounds at a time, so I wasn't fat or thin for extended periods which is why I likely didn't have any major health issues. I chose to get the surgery because I was tired of having to always be on a diet, always feel like I was starving, and never feel like I really had any control over my weight. Also, because I like being thin and this seemed like an excellent way to get back to being a "normal" size. If you have surgery, any kind of surgery, because it makes you feel healthier, happier, or more confident in your own skin, then more power to you. There is nothing wrong with being a little vain, although in the incidence of the sleeve, I really don't think you can call it that by any stretch of the word.

[jstina 6]

I too was in your situation around 6-7 years ago. I had none of the co-morbid illnesses that went along with being overweight so my insurance denied my surgery and I went back to my old ways of joining Weight Watchers losing 70 lbs, then turned around and gained 85 lbs back. This has been my pattern my whole adult life. I too was raised in a traditional Portuguese/Mexican household and was not overweight until after I became an adult and quit doing all of the activities that went along with being a teenager. I developed type II diabetes, high blood pressure, GERD and high cholesterol in the past couple of years. I turned 49 and decided I needed to try again so I went back to the doctor went through all of the tests and was finally approved by my insurance company (because I was finally sick enough) to have the gastric sleeve. I really wish I had been approved the first time because I would have never developed all of these diseases and would have saved the insurance company money as well as the wear and tear on my body. I am 4.5 months post surgery and have been doing wonderful. I left the hospital off of my diabetic meds, cut my cholesterol meds in half and if I am still doing as well I should be medicine free in a couple of months. Keep up the activity that is what is keeping the diseases at bay but the weight takes a toll on your body. Do what is best for you. Talk to a trusted doctor and make the decision as a team. good luck in whatever you decide!!

[tomzilla23 10]

Your story mimic's mine exactly. I'm 49, and will be pressing 50 next March. I'm basically healthy (despite how i look) and i was afraid mine was just being vain also. But i've just gotten bigger and bigger and its time for some disease prevention. My knees are hurting now. Out of breath faster and I don't want to hit 50 and be in that much worse shape. My family is very active and I can no longer keep up. My 78 year old father can outwork me and my 55 year old sister can too. Its time for a change for the better. I've been considering it for a few years and its time.

Its not vanity, its an improvement in your quality of life. That is what i'm ready for. The physical appearance will help with lots of issues, but the way i want to live can not happen at my current size.

I'm sure you are having the second thoughts just like we all do. You will be fine. I just wish i would have done it at your age.

Keep up the losing fight.

Tom

[Babbs 14,680]

It's not vain to want to live a healthier, happier life. I did all the 5K walks, too at 235lbs, but I was far from healthy. You may feel pretty good and claim to not have serious medical issues, but let's not mince words here. Being obese is NOT healthy. It puts a constant strain on all your organs, joints and emotional health.

To put it in perspective, instead of walking 5K's, I am currently training to RUN a 5K. I could not have done that at 235lbs. Don't feel guilty. Just DO it

[cantseemytoes 49]

Thanks AvaFern. Everyone in my prep classes had major health issues and I was starting to feel alone. When was your surgery? How are you doing now? What was it really like?

[Teachamy 1,042]

I once heard an interview with a couple who decided on bariatric surgery. They were told, "look around for people your size who are 70 ." The sad truth is, people who are morbidly obese will die earlier than those who maintain a healthy lifestyle/weight. I had a host of comorbidities prior to surgery. (I too was 39) It has improved or ended all of the health issues I experienced. (With the possible exception of asthma and a spinal tumor...) It is wonderful that you do 5k's and that you were able to lose some weight on your own. Wouldn't you like your appearance to reflect the amount of effort you put forth? I don't call that vain. I call that human!

[cantseemytoes 49]

Thanks everyone. Yours responses put a smile on my face and strengthened my resolve to do this. Yes I'm nervous, but with the support of my family, I know I can succeed.

I'm just waiting for the pre op appt with the surgeon to schedule the date of my surgery and I'm ready to go. I just needed the pep talk y'all gave me. :-)

[cantseemytoes 49]

Teachamy my family says it's my stubbornness that got me through those walks and mud runs. Plus they're fun so I love to do them. But I have to admit, I'd like to be able to run a 5k, maybe even a half marathon.

[cantseemytoes 49]

It's not vain to want to live a healthier, happier life. I did all the 5K walks, too at 235lbs, but I was far from healthy. You may feel pretty good and claim to not have serious medical issues, but let's not mince words here. Being obese is NOT healthy. It puts a constant strain on all your organs, joints and emotional health.

To put it in perspective, instead of walking 5K's, I am currently training to RUN a 5K. I could not have done that at 235lbs. Don't feel guilty. Just DO it

I do admit, I'd love to run a 5k and maybe even a half marathon one of these days. :-)

[Babbs 14,680]

It's not vain to want to live a healthier, happier life. I did all the 5K walks, too at 235lbs, but I was far from healthy. You may feel pretty good and claim to not have serious medical issues, but let's not mince words here. Being obese is NOT healthy. It puts a constant strain on all your organs, joints and emotional health.

To put it in perspective, instead of walking 5K's, I am currently training to RUN a 5K. I could not have done that at 235lbs. Don't feel guilty. Just DO it

I do admit, I'd love to run a 5k and maybe even a half marathon one of these days. :-)

And you WILL

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Good for you in wanting more out of life (for yourself and others you love) than you're able to receive or give right now.

By becoming really healthy now, you'll head off those (otherwise certain) comorbidities at the pass.

And I hope you come to appreciate that "vanity" is the wrong thing to call a yearning for a full, complete life in which you can become all that you are capable of becoming.

Very best to you!

[angewil60 65]

I also was not fat as a child but I started putting on the weight when my children came I went from 98 pounds to 241 my highest. I needed to do something about it. No health issues until later, I was blessed to have the sleeve done in December 2014 and I am now down to 187. I still plan on more my husband states that he is cheating with new woman and I love it. Do what you feel is right for you.

[cantseemytoes 49]

Good for you in wanting more out of life (for yourself and others you love) than you're able to receive or give right now.

By becoming really healthy now, you'll head off those (otherwise certain) comorbidities at the pass.

And I hope you come to appreciate that "vanity" is the wrong thing to call a yearning for a full, complete life in which you can become all that you are capable of becoming.

Very best to you!

:-) thank you!

[cantseemytoes 49]

I also was not fat as a child but I started putting on the weight when my children came I went from 98 pounds to 241 my highest. I needed to do something about it. No health issues until later, I was blessed to have the sleeve done in December 2014 and I am now down to 187. I still plan on more my husband states that he is cheating with new woman and I love it. Do what you feel is right for you.

GREAT JOB! Your husband sounds very supportive. My husband knows how unhappy I've been for the last few years so he is also very supportive. :-)