Caregiver advice 10 days post op--dehydration and gout setback

[JM1997 3]

My hubby had sleeve surgery in 4/10. Upon coming home became dehydrated and developed gout in his knee and was in extreme pain. Brought him to hospital where he stayed 5 days and they hydrated him with fluids and wasn't able to give him pills to relieve gout until day 6 (4/16) after surgery. It's now day 10 and he is now home for about 2 days (since 4/18). He is able to drink more and now able to walk. But now has diarrhea and seems real down. I'm thinking it's because of this setback he had. Is it normal to have diarrhea? Looking for some advice on how to handle the sadness. He was so ready for this surgery and thought it was going to be a lot easier than this. I'm thinking he has his regrets now but won't share them with me.

[JamieLogical 8,710]

It's pretty common for EVERYONE to go through a bout of depression and regret in the early weeks post-op. With his complications, it seems even more justified. This surgery is a real life change and has a tough recovery period. I struggled physically and emotionally for the first several weeks and some of it continued even into the first couple of months. I did a lot better once I was eating solid foods (40 days post-op for me) and back into a regular routine. But there is definitely a period of emotional adjustment that has to happen. His relationship with food will never be the same. His life will never be the same. But he WILL eventually feel "normal" again and lead a "normal" life. It just takes a while to get to that point.

I don't envy your position, just like I didn't envy my husband having to deal with the emotional and physical roller coaster I was on. Just hang in there and encourage HIM to hang in there as well. Have him come onto these forums and post his concerns and frustrations. We've all been there and sometimes just knowing you aren't alone can go a long way toward improving your outlook.

[able2cope 193]

I'm so sorry to hear that your husband has been suffering so much.

Most of us feel down at heart and wonder what on earth we have done to ourselves, in the first few days - and because of his complications, this will even be effecting more than 'normal'.

As for the diarrhea - our insides have had major surgery and as such go through turmoil at times... it will settle down eventually.

As long as he follows the advice given by his health practitioner and keeps drinking, drinking and drinking - even if its just small sips at a time - and also trying to get all his Protein in -thats the important thing.

He is lucky to have you there by his side, looking out for him.

[JM1997 3]

Thank you so much for your replys. It means a lot to me. Just worried about him. He is a person who is always in trouble go and this has been so tough on him. I know I feel upset at times that he had the surgery so can imagine how he feels. Just want him back to the person he was before minus the addiction to food of course.

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

Ok. Now he's out of the hospital, and believe it or not, on the road to recovery! So let's start recovering! It's time to start looking forward, not backwards. Start making plans, for things he will soon be able to do, things that have been out of reach to this day. Don't allow "dwelling" to occur, launch into fast-forward! Have lots of hobbies (new ones, in necessary) on hand to keep his mind on fun things, positive things. To keep the mind off of eating. To keep the hands busy. Something he absolutely LOVES to do, perhaps things you two can do together. To stay positive! Make plans for the meals, for the eating of the meals, for the exercise, for the FUTURE! Start using (today!!!) a tape measure to account for weight loss (sometimes the scale is not so friendly, but the tape measure is!!!), so he can SEE his progress...nothing like progress to encourage you to find more progress! Make goals, small ones, easy to advance to. And plod along. There WILL be down times, but they WILL pass, as everything does. Always look to the future, ALWAYS!!!! Bless you both on your new adventure!