Truly, I'm not looking for sympathy, just need advice.

[hndyman 0]

Hi Beachgirl,

I was in a little different boat than you. My ex was the cheater as well. But being the man I had to pay for everything, she got 1/2 of everything even my retirement (being married 17 years). I pay child support now to the tune of $1200 a month. If she had not forged my name on a car I would have to be paying her alimony. I agreed to pay my child support till my kids got out of college, to benefit my kids. Needless to say she got remarried and now her new hubby don’t work and my child support goes to keep him up. I have to still take care of my kids even though I pay her too (sorry not here to rant, and I do not blame or begrudge my kids I love them with all my heart and will do what I have to do, to see them taken care of ).

My point, you being married over 10 years, female, and not working out side the home will put you in the driver’s seat, if you choose to be there. He could possibly have to pay for your lawyer. I would suggest you using a voice activated recorder to catch him verbally abusing you. I will also say once a cheater always a cheater, and once the trust is gone, it can never be fully regained. I tried for 10 years, trust me I know. I have 0 tolerance for cheaters and even less sympathy.

I have been single for 6 + years now. I wonder every day why I fought it so hard. Even after paying and losing that much I am so much better off. My kids are great. I see them often 3 to 4 times a week and every weekend. My daughter 19 is in college and my son 17 will be a senior in high school. I see them more now than I did when I was married, because I worked 60 to 80 hrs a week so she could be a stay at home mom. I am closer to them now than when I was married.

Life after a divorce is what you make it and I think you can make a lot better life for yourself and be much happier away from someone that keeps dragging you down, I am.

Keith