Feeling like I am taking the easy way out :-/

[B-52 7,113]

I'm 63 years old...Over the years, believe me when I say I have tried every diet under the sun....you name it, I tried it.

NOTHING WORKED....because, bottom line, I simply did not have the self discipline, self control, and I probably had an eating disorder,(but never saw a Psych about it.)

Finally, my health and age began to catch up to me....problems too long to list, many life threatening....

My PCP suggested Weight Loss Surgery as a LAST RESORT.....and I did not want to do it...I felt is was the "Cowards" way out. For people who are weak.

Now, over 4 years later, I've got my life back, better than before!

Best decision I ever made....

Easy Way out? SO WHAT!!!!! It worked and that's all that matters to me!! Weight loss surgery did for me what I could not do...took care of my hunger and cravings, curing me of that disorder I probably had because eating is no longer a priority.

Diet is now just a 4 letter word....

To not do something because it's easy is ridiculous! People drive cars instead of walking....take elevators instead of the stairs...our entire society is built around innovations to make things "easier" and more efficient....so why shouldn't weight loss be easy???

If someone came up with an "Easy" way to stop smoking, quit drinking, kick drug addiction, cure cancer....just because it's easy should it be avoided??? Of course not! It should be applauded....

I'm old enough to remember when the Polio Vaccine was introduced.....at the time, just take a sugar cube and you're immune! EASY! And parents with their children in tow lined up around the block! I can still see it!

In the end, it does not matter what other people think...these critical people are not going to be there when it all hits the fan because of your obesity.

It's another reason why I never told anyone...it's none of their business...this is all about me and my own....

Sorry to rant, but this hits a nerve with me....I quess people want us to remain fat....what else is their motive...

[blondebomb 580]

I have the dx of "different depressions and anxiety". I started after my 2nd baby was born 26 yrs ago. I have been through 12 yrs of psychotherapy for a rough past. eating disorder..I ate for every emotion under the sun . I have over 12 health dx's. I was directed from 2 specialist that stepped in and saved my life and gave my life back to me! I am 51 and 10 months PO 100 pds down. I only told a select few who I KNEW wouldn't judge me. In fact they're words were "you did a BRAVE and COURAGEOUS" thing. the easy way out?? H*** NO!! it's the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Several posts above all the necessary steps, changes and new way of looking at food the do's the don't etc...I am still learning. My first month was brutal. My surgeon warned me it would be (for some yes everyone is different) I had hernia repair at the same time It was the culprit of majority of discomfort and pain. the head hunger the first month was rough!! I went through the emotional up's and down's. But I was determined to do this I had wasted 30 some yrs of yo yo dieting, losing all kinds of weight over these yrs and it always found me! finally Dx with thyroid disease last yr..I was gaining alot each month and I had climbed up to 275 headed for the life of a couch potato, I seen deeper depression of the vicious cycle and seen myself going to be using the Walmart motor buggies I said HECK NO!! my hubs was always telling me to get one Lupus and Fibro I seen so much neg right at my front door I took control with the direction of my Dr's and went for it. I have been able to stop several meds and the past few months I am feeling soo much better mentally and emotionally is crazy unbelievable!! Do I still take an antidepressant? yes. I have went from 4 for several yrs to 1 this yr. I now treat my inflammation/pain with 1 script and I use essential oils! I am tickled to death! My immediate family as in my siblings, my parents yes my parents and other friends I have NOT said anything. when they ask I tell them I have taken control and do a strict portion and diet control! and I leave it at that. it's your own mind telling you or the guilt that is nudging you to feel you have to tell others. I don't owe anyone any explanations. My life My body My decision My health! I am glad to hear you had a good visit. My only regret was I hadn't done this sooner! BUT I feel this was my time! everything fell into place!! the therapy over the last 10 yrs had helped me tremendously! Am I perfect? NO!!! it's struggle yet. But it's changing 35 yrs of behavior and it takes time to change. and at times some outside help to get another perspective. I wish you the best. ITS DEFINITELY NOT the easy way out! My hubs is my biggest supporter!! He's my best friend and he tells me daily how proud he is and how beautiful I am. (of course at my highest and worse bouts of depression over all these yrs he has told me daily how beautiful I have always been ) he's very special person. I hope you have support and remember this is a great site where you can always come for anything...Best wishes sweetie! keep us posted

[Stephanie Stroup McIntosh 157]

I feel like I am pretty successful in my life. I have been able to do everything that I have really wanted. I am happily married and have a good job that I like. I have great friends and consider myself to be a happy person. But you know what the one part of my life that I couldn't master was? My weight. I tried. I did everything I was supposed to do. I even when to the doctor, joined a gym, met with a dietitian. I gave up fast food and soda. I worked out 5 days a week. I completed 6 5ks. Guess what happened... I gained weight and my blood work numbers all got worse. How was I doing everything I was supposed to do and still failing? This was new to me. Most things have come fairly easy for me in life. Here I was actually trying...and i was failing.

That't when I decided that I needed help. I couldn't lose the weight on my own. That's when I realized that I NEEDED to have surgery. Sure there were days that I felt like I was taking the easy way out, but I was wrong. The easy way was continuing the path that I was headed on before.

The process for surgery approval is a pain in the butt, but its all worth it. The surgery is just a tool. YOU have to be ready to change your life. You are choosing to make a life-long commitment. That's not an easy thing.

I know you don't really want to tell anyone, but honestly telling other people is what has made my life better so far. I have a huge support system. I have lots of people holding me accountable and keeping me on track. If you choose not to tell people, that's fine too. You can just let them know that you were having some medical issues and had to have surgery so now you are on a very restricted diet while you heal. That is usually enough to satisfy people.

Its your life and your decision. Admitting that you need help is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.

Good luck and feel free to reach out to me if you need someone to talk to.

[terrydumont46 1,954]

If anyone says wls is the easy way out they should try it and find out that it takes just as much work as not having it done. we still diet, exercise and worry about every bite we put in our mouths. I would be well over 300 lbs right now by doing weight watchers or jenny craig. my wt was going up even with diet. my diabetes was out of control even with a zero carb diet. I don't know what went down but the harder I dieted the more I gained. easy way out , no way!!!!!

[Roo101769 742]

If WLS surgery is taking the "easy" way out then I would not be 18 months post op and still obese. While I have lost 100lbs, I am only a little over half way to goal. It is not easy. It takes work. The surgery is a tool that helps you, but it doesn't do everything for you. I am in no way trying to discourage you because I wouldn't change my decision to have the surgery. I am 100lbs lighter than I was, which I would have not lost on my own. If I could have dieted and exercised that off then I wouldn't be fat now. It is a fact I have a problem. I have control issues and a major carb addiction. To this day I struggle with my choices. My surgery helped me get past the initial roadblocks to get a lot of the excess off. Now I need to figure out how to get my head back into the game to get the rest off. Weight loss is probably 85% mental and 15% physical. ( Ok, just my opinion) Please do not follow the mass delusion that WLS is taking an easy way out because that is simply not true. Be proud that you have the courage to face your reality as to why you are heavy and that you are making an informed and proactive decision to change it!

[KateP 359]

1. It's not easy! Believe me! Especially with the Lapband. We work hard! For me the first year was easy while my motivation was high. Then came maintenance! I am nine years post-op now and I have to warn you, I am pretty unusual! There aren't all that many old-timers around! Many lose their bands because of known complications but many simply cannot maintain the effort long term.

By the way, I know nothing about the meds you take, but do be aware that many banded people can't take large tablets, so make sure yours are eirher small or can be split or crushed. Some have no problems but you don't know until you get there!

2. Why is easy bad? Even if it were easy! I like my life easy, if I need shopping and the shop is more than a mile or so away, I use my car. If I want to blend my Soup, I don't use a fork and sieve, I use an electric blender.

[Chrystee 838]

So many times I "tried' on my own..

I am almost 3 weeks post op, and it is soooooooooooo not easy!!!!!!!

I'm 4 weeks post op, and you are right.. its not the easy way out for sure.. my surgery was a piece of cake; surgery was perfect and so has been recovery.. but the weight started dropping off and just stopped and now I'm working on getting it going.. it is still work! I wish I would have done this YEARS ago.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Its not so much that its the easy way out as its the SUCCESSFULL way out. at 4+ years out, I have to work as hard as ever to get it off, keep it off as any diet in the past, however, the amount of work actually WORKS now. Before, I could work this hard and get very little and temporary success. Now I have a chance of keeping a big chunk of weight off. Will I be at goal forever? .... well not so far, but I am pretty close and that is awesome! Statistics say it is uncommon for someone with this surgery to get to or stay at 100% EWL, and weight gain is most common after 3 years out.... but I really count myself as a success.

[KateP 359]

I notice quite a few people who have replied are not banded and you say on your profile that you are getting the band. Do be aware it is harder for us! I am living proof it is easier than without surgery. But banding is the option which gives you least help as you still have a fully functioning stomach etc and the band only slows eating, it should never stop it. It is more common for banded people not to reach goal than for people with the other surgeries.

[blondebomb 580]

Just remind your self this is in no way easy. You are going to have to exercise and monitor your food choices for the rest of your life. It was way harder than I expected. You will have the "head hunger" where you have to break bad habits. ( Mine was eating Snacks while watching evening tv shows) Also, gone are the days when you can binge eat. Personally I regret telling some people because a few were quite negative. Saying how I should have been able to exercise and diet. Funny is these same people are fat. Be confident and look forward to the changes. Your first victories like losing a pants size are so very rewarding! Good luck on your journey.

I find myself saying mentally..'yea how's that been working for you the past 30 yrs'? (talking about the fat ones saying I should be able to lose with diet and excersice like I hadn't done that like forever now!) geeesh some ppl just don't get it! ????

[B-52 7,113]

I am a Lap bander.....,this is MY day to day experience...NOT what I have been told or read

A.) The lap band restricts what I eat and how much I eat...that's why I need to start with Protein. If I started with the mashed potatoes for instance, I may not get to the protein....it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to overeat....

B.) The lap band has diminished all my hunger and cravings...not just between meals, but 24/7...I can skip meals, or go all day without eating and it does not bother me in the slightest....and because of this, point A. does not matter.

C.) I do not have to measure my portions, I do not count calories...since the band lets me eat so little, all I need to do is make the best, healthiest food choices I can...and not waste my portion on something stupid and useless.

D.) I don't believe in maintenance...this is a new lifestyle I have adapted since my day of surgery that will follow me for the rest of my life....what can I do for maintenance? get Fluid taken out so I can eat more? Then struggle not to gain weight? No Thanks, I'll stay right where I'm at and not think about it.

For me, this is not a diet.....it is a life altering event. I failed at diets before and I'm finished with them.

So, having said that....where is the Hard Part??? I have to make sure I get my Water in....I have to make sure of my Protein intake, and I have to be sure to exercise regularly.....I do not find any of that particularly hard.

Now I will say the first 6 months were extremely difficult....that was the phase getting my band properly adjusted, learning to eat all over again as the band dictated me to....and all the while I was hungry as hell and all I could do was count calories and stick with traditional dieting....,I even gained weight between fills....but eventually I did get there, changed my attitude and eating to comply with what the band was forcing to do....

And since then it has been HEAVEN...EASIEST thing I could ever do.

I get the feeling that some people do not take this to the extent I did, but stop somewhere in between....but I am not one to judge, can only think what it would bee like if I did not get that last fill, or had it removed.

For me, it was all about how my band is adjusted, and as it got adjusted I had to adjust myself....at any one point I could have stopped, or I could have some Fluid taken out.....but if I did, I'm sure it would result in everything becoming more harder for me...more me, and less band doing the work.

When you've been around these boards for a while, you soon learn that everyone here has different views...everyone's Dr. is a little different.....

I've learned there is not a right or wrong way...and it would not be proper to tell anyone else what is right or wrong....I just share with everyone what I have done to find my ultimate success, and that's all!!

Take it or leave it, does not matter to me...although I pray everyone finds their success, freedom from fear of ever being fat again.

In spite of all the different views and ways people approach the band, these same people still find 100% success...PERMANENT weight loss...and that's all that matters and should not be judged.

If someone like myself, finds this to be easy, which I do....and if that offends anyone...too bad...I used to be obese, I am now at a "Normal" weight and loving it....my health issues have all been reversed...no more meds or insulin injections...

I am one who has had one heart Attack resulting in surgery because I was fat, but now run 5 miles a day much to the amazement of my cardiologist and other Dr.'s I still see.....

So why should I feel guilty about changing, and saving my life??? Not A Chance!!!! Misery loves company and I want nothing to do with it! I am not a survivor, but a Winner!

There have been many veterans on this forum before me who I used to follow, and felt the same way I do today....and for obvious reasons they chose to move on and leave.....I can understand why, and left myself for a year....and will probably move on again when it all gets tiring....and sometimes it does.

80% of the members on this forum are just starting out...and have absolutely no Idea what I'm talking about, or simply feel it is all too good to be true...that there is actually a life after lap band....

That is a main reason veterans move on....there is simply no longer that much in common.

[Graciesmom04 184]

I notice quite a few people who have replied are not banded and you say on your profile that you are getting the band. Do be aware it is harder for us! I am living proof it is easier than without surgery. But banding is the option which gives you least help as you still have a fully functioning stomach etc and the band only slows eating, it should never stop it. It is more common for banded people not to reach goal than for people with the other surgeries.

As for not having gone through the other types of wt loss surgery, I'm not sure I could/would comment on if it's harder for one or another. we all go through the ups/downs and what's harder for one may not be for another...but then again, what's harder for another type might not be as hard for bands. It's all in the same boat....what you can and can't do is the same for all categories. The small pills/crushing meds, is same for all surgery types. We all need to make healthy choices, choose the right foods, get sick if too much, have horrible days after surgery. We just need to choose which option is right for us and go with that...but as far as which one is better or worse....I think they're all the same. The struggles are there for each procedure.

[bikrchk 1,313]

After losing and regaining, (with interest) time after time and watching my health decline, I came to the conclusion that this is a disease I could not fight and win against without help. The first year and a half was a true "honeymoon". I worked at it, followed my plan for Protein, Vitamins and exercise, and the weight came of faster than any other weight loss attempt. I reached maintenance and have maintained pretty well, bouncing up a bit, cutting back on the junk to recover, rinse, repeat whenever I creep outside my maintenance zone. The point is, that today, I am successfully living as a "normal" fit person. I have to work a bit harder than I did a year ago to maintain, but I still have to WORK it. Still exercise daily, still put Protein first, still comply with supplement requirements. But I'm WINNING this battle now. This is the first time I've actually made it to a healthy BMI and the longest I've maintained a healthy weight, EVER. What's hard? Having high blood pressure, (even on 3 meds), constant joint pain, asthma, high cholesterol, and zero energy. If I needed a boost to get here and stay here, so be it! If I had cancer and needed to have it cut out because it was killing me I wouldn't have hesitated. How is WLS different?

[KateP 359]

I notice quite a few people who have replied are not banded and you say on your profile that you are getting the band. Do be aware it is harder for us! I am living proof it is easier than without surgery. But banding is the option which gives you least help as you still have a fully functioning stomach etc and the band only slows eating, it should never stop it. It is more common for banded people not to reach goal than for people with the other surgeries.

As for not having gone through the other types of wt loss surgery, I'm not sure I could/would comment on if it's harder for one or another. we all go through the ups/downs and what's harder for one may not be for another...but then again, what's harder for another type might not be as hard for bands. It's all in the same boat....what you can and can't do is the same for all categories. The small pills/crushing meds, is same for all surgery types. We all need to make healthy choices, choose the right foods, get sick if too much, have horrible days after surgery. We just need to choose which option is right for us and go with that...but as far as which one is better or worse....I think they're all the same. The struggles are there for each procedure.

Oh indeed they are all difficult! I wasn't trying to make any claims orherwise i just wanted to warn the pre-op poster that we don't malabsorb like bypass and DS or have a limited size stomach like the sleeve. The band does nothing other than dim hunger, it should never physically stop us eating like the sleeve does.

[Graciesmom04 184]

Wouldn't it be nice if this WAS easy for all of us?