Having Serious Regrets.....Anyone Else?

[Guest ZenGarden]

Okay, I'm gonna say it: I am seriously regretting getting the lap band and now I'm thinking I should have opted for gastric bypass instead.

The story: I had surgery on March 26th and have lost a whopping 25 pounds since then. The first 20 pounds came off during the liquid/mush phase during the first five weeks, so that means I've only lost a total of FIVE POUNDS in almost 2 months???

I am so disappointed and discouraged at this point. I've been doing cardio and weight training FIVE TIMES A WEEK....AND I had my first fill of 1.5 cc's on May 16. My hunger level is still much higher than I expected and I am no where nearly as restricted as I would like to be.

Anyone else struggling with this?

[shellqueen 0]

I'm sorry! That must be so frustrating! All I can say is stay at it. Have you talked to your trainer (if you have one)? Muscle does weigh more than fat. Have you lost inches?

[mdrai 3]

Talk w/your doc. Get another fill. It can take a few fills before you get to your "sweet spot". Good luck!

[Guest ZenGarden]

FINALLY! Someone else who was over 300+ pounds pre-op.....I was beginning to think I was the only one. Would love to know your secret to staying motivated about your decision...

Thanks again,

Shannon

[faithmd 14]

Okay, I apologize in advance for this bit of tough love, but here it comes:

You're kidding, right? You are upset because you have lost 25lbs (try not to dwell on the only 5lb weight loss in two months, your body has to adjust after eating nearly nothing for five weeks during the post-op phase, of course your rate of loss will slow down) in about three months' time? That's about 2.2lbs (or a kilogram) per week which is not only FANTASTIC, but expected for the rate of loss for a Bandster. Did you think you'd lose 10 lbs a week? That's why you didn't get bypass, or at least that's why I didn't chose bypass. Though in my heart I want to lose 10lbs a week, I know in my mind that is really really bad for my body. I chose to go the slow and healthy route (band) so that my skin will have time to adjust, and I wouldn't be malnourishing myself. Studies are saying that three to five years out (depending on which one you read) the bandsters and the RNYers are about even. So the only supposed benefit in the short term is more rapid loss (from what I can see), and that's not necessarily a good thing. Your body can adapt after the bypass and weight regain is fairly common. Then you have to go get a band over the bypass, or have a sleeve done. With a band I could be unfilled, then recommit myself to the band and try again.

I didn't gain this weight in a year, why do I think I should lose it in that time?

Yes, the band is WORK. But we need to move and exercise to be healthy. Not only to lose weight but to prolong our lives and improve how we feel. As Bandsters we need to make healthier choices in foods, the bypass sort of keeps you honest because if you eat something bad (sugar, alcochol) for you, you'll likely dump, cramp, etc.

Did you research banding a lot before having it done? Did your surgeon and the nutritionist go over things like hunger and fills before you were banded? I've not been banded yet (8 days) but I've been researching the heck out of it. I figure I'm having surgery, I'm gonna learn all I can. One of those things I learned is that for most people it takes at LEAST two, sometimes three, sometimes four, sometimes more fills to get to that "sweet spot." It also is not necessarily immediate that a fill "kicks in," sometimes it can be two weeks later and the restriction comes. I will have to be patient. Banding is not an instant gratification process, it requires a lot of work from me and time, but eventually it will pay off. It is merely a tool.

Remember, you've LOST 25lbs. Had you not been banded, would you have still lost 25lbs? Or would you have GAINED something by now?

That having been said, I do believe that for some folks RNY is the best choice, others it's banding, others it's the DS, etc. I would just advise you to give it some time. If you're doing cardio and training 5 days a week you are building muscle, and that weighs a LOT more per square inch than fat. So while the scale may not have moved, you ARE burning fat and building muscle.

Are you tracking everything you eat? That also helps me. fitday.com mydailyplate.com sparkpeople.com calorieking.com are all good free sites for nutrition info and tracking.

Good luck, and I'm sorry if I was harsh, but I just wanted to give you a little shake and say, "Come on, did you think this was going to be completely effortless and immediate?"

[marjon9 6]

zengirl, it seems to me that you are jumping to conclusions at a time when you have not yet really even started your band journey. In many ways the band journey begins when you have proper restrction. You've just had one fill!!!!! It's the rare exception that proper restriction is achieved after just one fill. Didn't your doctor tell you that? I would contact your doctor and discuss this. Also, on this forum you can find many threads that talk about restriction and how many fills it takes to get there.

I have no way of knowing whether the band will actually work well for you in the long run, but it is definitely too soon to start reaching the conclusion that it is not working. As I say, in my opinion you really haven't even started yet.

The last thing I want to say is this: You asked in your post above how a person stays motivated in their decision. Here's the thing about the band: You really don't need to worry so much about staying motivated. The whole point about the band is that it works whether or not you are motivated (unless, of course, you deliberately try an sabotage yourself by drinking McDonald's milkshakes all day). The band is a physical barrier to overeating. It works because you get full on much smaller portions (once you have proper restriction, that is). The band is not a "diet" that requires will power and "staying motivated." The band is a device that works EVEN THOUGH you can't stay motivated and stay on a diet. That's the whole point!!!

So, please, calm down and don't feel too disappointed yet. And stop worrying about "staying motivated." The thing you need to focus on right now is working toward getting enough fills to achieve the proper degree of restriction. Once you have proper restriction, then your band journey begins. Then, after a year or so, you will begin to have a true feeling for whether the band is or is not working for you.

[pelhamlisa 0]

Zen,

With the band you will lose weight more slowly than with RNY and it will take some tweaking to get to a comfortable fill amount. Unfortunately, restriction is not instantaneous like with the RNY. The working out is wonderful, keep at it. In the long run it WILL pay off. I have 2.5cc in a 4cc band and have some restriction but you have to make smart food choices. Let me tell you, ice cream is no problem what so ever to eat. So I could eat ice cream every day, but that would be defeating the purpose of the band. I do not battle hunger like I use to before the band but I do still get hungry, just not as often and not as ravenous as before! I am 7 months out, as of today, and have lost 50 lbs. When I was three months out I had only lost approx. 25-30 lbs. But please remember, each person is different and you can not compare your journey to someone elses! That is only asking for disappointment.

Also, please do not believe that muscle weighs more than fat! 1 lb is 1lb, no matter how you look at it. You need the muscle to burn the calories!

Please keep up the great work and work with your doctor on a fill schedule that will work for you and get you the maximum result from this wonderful tool.

Good luck!

[mdrai 3]

Who, me? <looks around>

How do I stay motivated about my decision? Well, to begin with there was absolutely no way I was going to be sliced & diced, so bypass was never an option for me. I'd have been a jolly fat lady if that had been my only option.

As for the band, I lost 8 lbs prior to starting the 2-week liquid pre-op diet; the other 21 came off during the 2 weeks pre-op & the first 1.5 weeks post-op. The past .5 week (I'm 2 weeks post-op now) I have been struggling, honestly. The swelling is down; I'm hungry; and, apparently, I can eat almost anything, don't have to take small bites, and don't have to chew/take a long time. I've been having a mini pity party/freak out the past couple days but then last night it hit me that this is what they call "bandster hell".

I think it's only my body's natural response, to finally have food again, even tho they're (mostly) mushy... to gain a few lbs. + to take some time to adjust itself after the rapid losses of the past month or so.

So now the work begins... between now & my first fill, which I think will be a few more weeks. Nobody ever told me this was a magic bullet. And I didn't want to lose it all so fast that I looked grey & haggard like those bypass people. I went into this knowing that it would be a 1-2 lb/week loss by eating less AND exercising. I just wanted that built-in "helper" for when I couldn't control my portions/volume/speed... it would do it for me. Well, as I'm not filled yet, I don't have that yet, so I need to work at it for awhile longer.

So today I re-committed myself to, well, myself with the following:

*Remember that this is a MAJOR learning process... it's not about just the food, but also finally, once and for all learning new behaviors and developing a new relationship w/food. Use this time for that.

*Walk every morning at the park. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

*Write down everything I eat + track all nutritional values.

*Post a list on the 'frig w/what I can eat & how much -- if it's not on the list, I don't eat it!

*Eat the bandster way: Protein first, veggie carbs second; small bites; chew 30 times; pause between bites; 20-30 min meals.

*Drink Water, Water, water as my main liquid.< /span>

*Stay off the scale. Weigh just once each week.<o:p></o:p>

I think having a positive attitude, exercising, and remembering that this isn't a quick-fix but a longer-term (a year or two?) process helps, as well.

Hope this helps!!

[Guest ZenGarden]

I appreciate the honesty and feedback. No, I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I hoped I wouldn't be as hungry as I still am and also hoped I wouldn't be able to eat as much.

Perhaps I am a prime example of how the band works for some people but not others...

[lisah25 3]

I appreciate the honesty and feedback. No, I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I hoped I wouldn't be as hungry as I still am and also hoped I wouldn't be able to eat as much.

Perhaps I am a prime example of how the band works for some people but not others...

it's WAY too early in your journey to decide it's not working for you. I took 5 fills before I hit a spot with good restriction, in my mind that is when my real band trip started. All that came before was prep to get things set up and working.

[musicalmomma 1]

I appreciate the honesty and feedback. No, I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I hoped I wouldn't be as hungry as I still am and also hoped I wouldn't be able to eat as much.

Perhaps I am a prime example of how the band works for some people but not others...

When are you scheduled for your next fill? It's been a month since your first fill. As it was explained to me, the average is three fills before hitting the sweet spot. I feel for you tho...I really do, I'm in bandster hell and STARVING!!!!!! I think I'd rather ride my bike an extra 5 miles just so I can have more to eat!!! I'm REALLY trying to stay under 800 calories and I never go over 1000, but dang, some days it about kills me!

[TracyinKS 7]

I'm only going to say this once on these boards...... but

I've had 2 best friends have the RNY one 4 years ago and one 2.... both lost 120 the first year... my friend that had it 4 years ago never dumped and could eat anything...... she has gained back and got depressed and tried to kill herself..... (she was pissed off when she woke up in a hospital) I love this woman and to write it makes me tear up..... she is now looking into banding over her stretched out pouch.... Not only will she always have to take all the vitimin supplements, permantly be malnourished and to top it off she has to start all over again in weight....

[huntersmom 0]

zengirl, I know 3 people who had bypass done years ago and has now gained all their weight back plus some for one. I was told from my surgeon that it was going to take about 3 years to take all my weight off. I only have 90 to lose. So that is about 30 pounds a year. I think that is great because if I didn't get banded I would probably be up 30 pounds each year instead. I would rather it come off slowly and keep it off other than lose it fast and gain it all back.

I hoped I helped.

[hairagain 0]

I know it is hard to stay motivated. I find it helps me to look at my materials they gave me before banding. This web site helps too. I don't have all the answers but I do know this is a process. For me the best part of being banded is that when I put forth the effort to lose the pounds, they usually stay off. I still have to excercise and diet to lose but I know there was a time I could gain back 5 or 6 hard lost lbs in a indulgent week end. Now I have restriction and no choice about it. Yes, there are times I would love to go to the golden arhes and have a

Mac and Fries but I know that food will make me sick because it sticks in my band. All bread doughy things do. That is a good thing. (If only ice cream would stick too) Tee Hee. Just hang in there and it will come in time. I sometimes look at people who had bypass and see how thin they

are but I also know many who have much of their old pounds back. Banding is good too, just different. I beleive it is healthier and if we do as we are told we can have a normal life and re-learn healthy habits for a LIFE TIME of better choices. This is not a race and we become impatient with ourselves. We want it so bad and the disease fights us all the way. Be kind to yourself and practice a few non food rewards for a job well done. Twenty five pounds is great and a hard fought victory that needs to be celebrated. Only those of us who have been there understand your pain. Good luck and I know if you get past this stage you will be right on track and flying.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I appreciate the honesty and feedback. No, I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I hoped I wouldn't be as hungry as I still am and also hoped I wouldn't be able to eat as much.

Perhaps I am a prime example of how the band works for some people but not others...

Or perhaps you need to get appropriate fills and then you will be able to actually USE your band. You haven't USED the band yet and you are already complaining that it doesn't work?

Would you buy a car, flatten all the tires and then wonder why it doesn't go fast? That is exactly what you are doing with your band.

It is up to YOU go to and get fills until you are at appropriate restriction. Saline does not magically appear in your band one night while you sleep.