Starting the process, could use some support

[fairgge 3]

Hey everyone. I'm going Saturday for my first informational seminar with the surgeon I'm pretty sure I want to use. I'm leaning toward gastric sleeve, just based on what all I've read in my research.

It's very possible I've OVER-researched, because I'm starting to freak myself out. I'm sure most of you will know what I'm talking about when I say that! You start reading all these things online, and for the most part it sounds great, but then there's the stories of "oh my sister nearly died after this surgery" or "I lost 40 pounds then never lost any more weight." It's enough to make you batty.

The safety of the surgery is what it is. With any surgery there comes a risk - I figure by choosing a respected, qualified surgeon and following all doctor's orders, I'm making it as safe as possible. And let's be real - I weigh 400 pounds. My odds aren't that great if I DON'T do something.

I guess my main worry at this point is, what if I do this and I don't lose the weight? If I went through the pain and expense of having this surgery only to wind up losing just a few pounds - I really don't know if I could handle that.

Anyone got any encouraging words? Sharp boot to the rear? Anything?

[Martene81 383]

I'm right there with you! I'm pre-op and have my last weigh in on the 23rd before they submit. Although I'm nearly done, this process has flown by and I still feel very new at this journey.

I too was leaning towards the sleeve but like you, reading all the posts are driving me crazy. I have a lot of weight to lose myself and my biggest fear is not losing enough with the sleeve or losing some and struggling as I do now and I'll feel like I've gone through this for nothing. I try not to focus on all the horror stories because everyone is so different in what they have experienced. Now, I try and compare the good/benefits and see what is common in that area. Since I've started to do that I'm now leaning more towards the bypass.

I think there is good, bad and ugly with both but trying to decide based on everyone's negative experiences is getting me no where so by looking at the benefits and choosing the one with the best outcome may be my deciding factor.

Because I'll literally change my mind daily based off something I've read on here or looking at someone YT video...the minute somebody posts they stopped losing with the sleeve I'm all for the bypass and the minute somebody post about dumping I'm all for the sleeve lol!

So from here on out I'm researching the benefits (I'm very educated on risks lol) and hopefully make the best decision based on that ????

[vistawinds 0]

First, stop reading (before you drive yourself nuts), you have all the information you need and you'll have an opportunity to ask questions at the seminar, and if your having surgery in the US more than likely your surgeon has a staff of support people available for you, pre and post surgery. Then come back to this form and only read the ones that are for a specific question you have.

I highly suggest you look at a website I found reading post on this form. Kelly is an amazing, funny, and most impressive; honest person about weight loss. She brings up all the things we all feel, but think we are the only ones dealing with such issues. I too have done a ton of reading, and was asking the same questions as you. After reading several of Coffeys articles, my life makes so much more sense. Bad choices, bad habits, yup, I'm the only one who put the food physically in my mouth, but now I'm learning so much more. Go over and cruise her site www.strongcoffey.com

I too have the same concerns as you. I know and know of people who have had some form of WLS,only to either not lose the weight, or gain it back. But I have a most critical eye, I saw, first hand these people over eating, eating everything in site, not "choosing" nourishing food, but eating and drinking crap! Surgery is only a tool. We have to learn the rest. This is what I am currently working on. My insurance doesn't cover WLS (bastards!) but I do believe things happen for a reason. So, I am taking this time to work on me. To learn how to handle situations better, how to see them coming and be prepared to ensure I'm taking care of me first and foremost.

Please, be honest with yourself. Ask the tough questions, write them out, discuss them with your support person. What ARE YOU going to do differently once you have WLS? More importantly, what are you currently doing to start the process now?

For me, I have started exercising. No excuses. I have arthritis in both feet and ankles. No longer an excuse. I am using free weights and a rebounder (mini trampoline). I listen to NPR while I bounce. Music disrupted my rhythm

I am eating better. No processed food, none nada. I eat when I'm hungry. I eat fresh food and cook it myself. I allow myself 1 teaspoon of sugar in my one cup morning decafe coffee. Otherwise only Water for drinking and no other sugar. My body doesn't like grains. I try to avoid them. I pack my lunch and have healthly Snacks available when needed. Sure there is still not so healthly food in my house. But there will always be unhealthly food (to me) available everywhere I go. Its learning how to handle and react around those foods that are my goal. My family doesn't have to follow my eating "rules". But at dinner time, we all sit down to a meal that is designed around my plan. Tonight it was 4oz of Cod, with a big helping of steamed zucchini with a touch of olive oil and a dusting of parmesean cheese.

I would already be on the surgery table had my insurance approved it. But I now see I need this time to process my decisions and make healtly choices to set myself up for sucess once I do have WLS. I am looking into Medical Tourism for my surgery. My insurance will cover consuling and working with a nutritionist, so I have started the journey before "hitting the table".

I'm sure others will answer your post.

Good luck on your journey....

[fairgge 3]

Martene, so glad it's not just me! I'm with you on the back and forth - I was thinking bypass until I read about dumping! I think I'm more comfortable with the idea of the sleeve, but I'll know more after my initial session with the surgeon this week.

Vistawinds, that sucks about your insurance. Mine actually only pays 50 percent, but I'm hoping that the rest of the cost is reasonable enough that we can afford it. I just have so many questions right now. I'm eager to get going, but I know I need to go through all of the process so that I'm positive this is right for me. It sounds like you're doing great! Trampolines sound fun. I'm pretty sure I'm too heavy for something like that, just like everything else. [/end self pity]

I went to a podiatrist today for a nail problem, and he seemed encouraging about me having the surgery. I still haven't brought it up with anyone but my husband, just because I'm hopeful about this, and I don't want to listen to all the "oh I knew someone who had it and such-and-such horrible thing happened!" that I know will come with telling people. Why do people feel the need to do that? I swear, weight loss and pregnancy brings out the worst in people. If they know someone trying to lose weight or who is pregnant, suddenly they have to drag out every horror story they've ever heard from their mother's uncle's cousin twice removed. And it's like, you're being a jerk! Back off!

Anyway. Sorry, rant attack. :|

[MassageMini 31]

I love the last thing you wrote. I'm a massage therapist and have met SOOO many ppl with diff opinions. Just listen to the bad ones because there are so many more positive stories out there. I felt God gave me the supportive/successful clients more than the negative.You know what's right. I am excited for you! Honestly, I saw more signs to go for the surgery than not to. I have my review appointment tomorrow and am finally excited to almost be POST-OP!! FINALLY! This whole thing is scary but listen to ur voice ur God and everything will be ok.

[brittneywlsj 13]

I am in the process as well. I have kaiser insurance and they require a 6 month eval before they reccomend you for surgery. I feel like you can never research too much. Just undertand what comes withi this big step you are about to take. I would try to out weight the pros and cons of you getting the surgery versus not getting the surgery. I would also make sure you find out what surgery is going to be the best fit for you. From the seminars that I have been to thus far the surgeon really thinks people should stay away from lapband. I also found through research that gastric sleeve looks to be the most popular form of surgery because of the results and success rates. If you honestly think that you may not make it if you do not have surgery I say go for it. Your overall health is whats important. It also helps to find friends and family who backs your decision up. My name is Brittney by the way. We can take this journey together.

Best of luck

[Stephanie Stroup McIntosh 157]

Take a deep breath and try to relax. Its easy to stress yourself out.

Ask your self...Why do you want to lose the weight and have the surgery? Do you think you are really ready to change your lifestyle. Why are you leaning towards the sleeve over the bypass? What happens if you keep living the way you are now? What do you want your life to look like in 1,2,5, 10, or 20 years? What do you want to be able to do that you can't do now?

The only way this surgery works is if you are ready to make a life long commitment. The people who don't lose the weight or who gain it back, are the people who really didn't change. You will probably never be a size 2, but you can be a healthy weight.

I recommend talking to your surgeon and pcp to get their views on which surgery they think you should have. I also recommend talking to a counselor about how you got to be 400 pounds in the first place. For me I ate because I could. I could justify it. I usually didn't need to eat, but i could, so I did. Now, I can't eat. At least not without feeling ill.

Try not to listen to all the horror stories. Its usually people that have bad experiences that put it all out there. Those of us with good experiences, dont have anything to complain about. Take your time and make sure you are comfortable with the whole process. I was required to do 6 months of pre-op stuff. I grumbled at first, but I am really glad that I had to do it. It gave me time to really make sure that this is what I wanted to do.

I don't mean to sound harsh with anything that I wrote, but I can't sugar coat anything either. I wish you the best of luck and am here if you need anyone to talk to.

[fairgge 3]

So excited - I just had my initial seminar at the surgeon's office, and it just seems like a fantastic facility! The doctor was nice, the support staff was amazing. The patient coordinator had bypass herself and lost 250 pounds! So inspiring to be able to talk to her, and she was so open about the whole thing. Calling Monday to make the appointment with the surgeon!

Thank you MassageMini - I appreciate the encouragement, and I'm excited for you too!!

Hey Brittney! It's so funny you said that about which surgery is right for you. I've been leaning heavily toward sleeve this whole time, but after listening to the doctor today, I'm thinking bypass might be the way to go. He mentioned people with bad reflux (which I have) but without hiatal hernia should opt for bypass over sleeve. I'm eager for my one-on-one with him to get more answers.

Stephanie, I totally agree with you on it being a commitment, and it's one I'm willing to make. I'm sick of being "too big" for things I want to do. I have a 7-month-old nephew in California who I have yet to meet because I don't want the shame of having to pay for two seats on an airplane. This is the only child any of my siblings has had, and I won't get to meet him until he's 15 months old and they bring him home for Christmas. I love the beach, but don't go because I can't stand the thought of being in public in swimwear. I flat-out don't like going in public because people stare at me. I'm sick of it, and I want to change my life. Heck, I want to HAVE a life! I don't do anything now. Just sit in the house, go to work, come home. Eat my feelings. I'm with you on wanting to not have the option to eat too much. I don't think you're harsh, I think you're being real.

Mi-chaMae, thanks for the advice - I'm trying to be careful about the support team, because I know how important it is. My husband is being amazing about this. He came with me to the seminar today, and is totally supportive of whatever I need to do. And he also said he's willing to eat however he needs to to accomodate my diet after the surgery. I haven't told anyone else yet, because I wanted more info beforehand. But I'm going to make it clear that this is my decision, and I don't want to be "talked out" of it, or told horror stories about so-and-so who they know who had it. We all need positivity!

Thank you all so much for talking to me! It's making this whole thing so much easier. I can't wait to get the process going - hopefully it won't take too long!