First post... check

[SookieLei 47]

So, Ive been lurking on these boards forever reading all of your stories and hoping that one day I would get to share my story as well. I looked into the bypass more than a year ago when my doctor suggested it, I was fed up with my wieght, I dont seem to lose weight anymore I go on diet after diet to no avail and come out heavier than i started. I got diagnosed with pre diabetes, high cholesterol, hypertension and knew I had to make a change.. Unfortuanately when I started the journey then, I lost insurance and wasnt able to carry through, but I kept believing that one day, maybe, I to, would be a success story. I spent a year researching and making sure this was absolutely the option I wanted to take. Im really excited I have met with a nutritionist, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, I have my psych eval set up in May and I have called my Cigna insurance spoke with them a couple of times and I have a 3 month waiting period with the dietician.

I have always been overwieght since around the age of 10. I remember my doctor talking to my mother about getting me on a diet, and she declined saying it was stress of the loss of grandparents. That stress eating got me to the pleasently plump woman I am today.. The woman who feels like she has gotten to a point of no return. I actually lost a significant amount of weight about 4 years ago, I had gotten tired of it and completely revamped my life I lost 90 lbs! I looked amazing, I loved being alive, I had a whole new love for fittness that I had never thought was possible! I really miss that girl, and Im sure my kids do to. I got pregnant with my twins and the weight came on like no other.. I gained 80 lbs with my twins but actually once i delivered and healed from my vertical c-section them I was only about 30 lbs more than when i started. I of course had a lot of excess skin, something only cosmetic surgery will fix, but I felt good. Unfortunately, the next year and a half of sleepless nights caused my weight to spiral out of control, throw in every stress imaginable with being a mother of 4, working full time, finishing a degree, and LIFE and what do you get, ME!

I know that my weight has put a strain on my relationship, I'm to the point that I dont want to leave the house because I feel so ashamed. My kids use to love when I took them on hikes and bike riding, and now it doesnt even seem obtainable. I feel horrible that I have allowed myself to become like this. I always put my children first and did everything for them and their health and making sure they had a good life and everything they could ever want, I just never thought my weight was taking away from them.. but now I know it is.

As far as support goes, little to none, but that doesnt stop me I have always been my biggest cheerleader when it comes to getting what I want anyway. My fiance "supports" it but he got angry at me the other day and told me I was being selfish to him and he didnt have anything to look forward to and now i do. I know that when it comes down to it, this decision and my new lifestyle will cause some issues with us, however at this point I feel that I'm doing the right thing for me and my future. I hope that once he sees the changes in me, and starts to see me for the girl I was when he met me, maybe his attitude will change.

Edited April 13, 2015 by SookieLei

[Djmohr 6,965]

Good for you! Way to take control of your future for both you and your children.

This disease kills! It can make our children frustrated when we cannot do the things they want to do. They are young and have their whole lives to live. It should not ever come to them having to care for us at such young ages. I lost my mother to complications of obesity and at first I was sad and depressed. She was my best friend outside of my husband. Suddenly at 66 I was making life altering decisions for her. I was much too young to have to do this. She ended up losing a toe, then a foot and then finally her leg. She was then not capable of getting up and around on her own, she had rheumatoid arthritis, type 2 diabetes and severe sleep apnea. It was the sleep apnea that killed her. She was told she would have less that a couple weeks to live if she would not use a CPAP. She refused and died on St. Partricks day in 2005.

Now, I am actually angry with her for quitting. For not getting up and saying my children need me in their lives. I swear, I will never do that to my children and grandchildren. It isn't fair to them.

So, while at first I was sad and depressed, now I have motivation to focus on me for a change. I have been doing that for the last year and I feel fantastic, I am about 90 percent healthier. I won't let anyone sabotage me or tell me I cannot do it.

I am proud of you for taking the next steps. Your positive attitude will aid in a successful outcome for you. If you need anything, feel free to reach out.