Unsupportive Mom :(

[Dubai Scouser 2]

I won't be telling my mum. We don't live in the same country so it will be easier for me to keep it a secret. I will be 13 weeks post op before I see her again and I'm hoping she will be happy that I have lost weight as she is my biggest critic.

[Rogofulm 2,440]

I was scared to death to tell my mom because I was afraid of her reaction. I told her the other day and immediately she got a negative tone. I shut her down and told her I needed her to listen. I explained the differences in the surgeries and then told her which I had chosen. I started crying as this is a very emotional subject for me and she now agrees that this is what needs to be done.

My mom was not "unsupportive", but she did wig out a little when she started to do here own "research" and kind of freaked herself out a bit. I ended up taking her to my surgeon's office to sit down with the nurse coordinator for a better education. It helped IMMENSELY to ease her mind. You might try this if she's open to it.

YES!!!! This is what I've been saying all along. Once you explain it to most people, they "get it" and become supportive. And with close family members, if that doesn't work, then they need to hear it from your doctor. My new approach when people ask how I lost all the weight, is to tell them. "I had bariatric surgery... and haven't had any starches, sugars, sodas, or booze for 10 months, and I'm exercising 5-6 times a week." That pretty much nips it in the bud.

[Stacyc311 36]

Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice! I'm trying to distance my self a little bit from her until after my surgery. This is hard because I am an only child and my husband and I only live 3 miles away.

My only problem is who do I bring to my pre-surgery support seminar next week? I was planning on bringing my mom, but since she has been so unsupportive I don't think that's a good idea. My husband just might have to take a day off work!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

^^^

Sounds like you're adapting to reality pretty well.

Of course, we all use this site from time to time to vent. Therefore, I know this will probably come across as snarky, but I really don't mean it that way at all. Here goes ...

At some point we figure out that Mom and Dad are not just our parents -- they're people with issues of their own. And that's when we start growing up by learning how to live without their approval -- or even their support.

It's just another phase of life.

I think you're going to be fine, with or without her approval / support.

[taweedeegirl 68]

sounds as though she may be envious?!