Very scared.. Right decision?

[turndown4what91 27]

I have been trying to get this surgery (gastric bypass) for a full year. It's taken so long for my insurance to aproove and there were just a bunch of issues I had to go through to get here.. well.. my surgery is on the 15th. That's almost 3 days from now. And I am getting so worked up and nervous and just downright scared. I know this is what I have to do.. I'm just so worried. I have never in my life been a healthy weight or even "overweight" I've always been obese and super morbidly obese. I feel like I'm losing myself. I feel like the person I am is dying and once I lose all the weight I'm not going to know who I am. I'm so scared that I'm going to become cocky or stuck up. I'm scared I'm going to have TOO much confidence. I'm just sad that this person I've always known is not gonna be there anymore. Am I crazy for feeling like this?? My weight protects me. It allows me to hide from scary situations and uncomfortable things. I won't have that security blanket anymore. I always thought I hated myself.. but now that everything is about to change I'm seeing that I actually am scared to lose me. I guess I just needed to get that all off my chest. Sorry for the rambling. Anyone else feel this way and is it normal or am I insane? Don't get me wrong I'm excited and know this is what I want. . I just.. I dunno how to handle it.

[wildGoose 207]

Here is the thing. I figured out that would have to let go of everything I thought I knew about basically everything. My life has changed in every way. More than I thought possible. Please have the surgery and then wake up, open your eyes and see what happens. I promise, you have no idea what is going to happen. I Celebrate this every day. I hope you will too.

[srayl61 12]

Hi, I have the same fears. My surgery was just on Monday the 6th so I can't say much yet as to what I'm like post surgery because I still feel like me. you have the same fears that I did/have. The only thing I keep telling myself is to take things one day at a time. Honestly after surgery I haven't even thought much about what I'll be like in a few months because I've been so focused on trying to get my liquids in and still in a lot of pain so I'd bet after surgery you'd prob be doing the same thing. I would highly suggest getting the surgery because in a few months well be so thankful that we did. Right before mine I was absolutely terrified that I wasn't going to wake up from surgery. A lot of my fear was just of the unknown such as how I'll feel after, what I'll be eating and drinking and what I'm going to look like. Now that surgery is done, I'm not thinking Of all that so much as just trying to take care of myself now. Please don't give in and cancel your surgery. Think of all the hard work you've put in over the last year and how great you'll be feeling in a few months.

[turndown4what91 27]

Thank you both so much. I needed to hear that I'm not alone. I'm definitely not going to cancel the surgery I'm going through with it because I know is what I have to do. I owe it to myself. I think you're right, once the surgery is over I won't have time to think about all of this. I'll be too busy trying to get that Protein and fluids in. I wish it was the 15th already I can't even sleep because I'm too nervous. Haven't slept in 3 days! AHHHH I'm gonna go crazy before the 15th even makes it here lol

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@turndown4what91, You are so brave for taking this step to get healthy!

Now it is time to focus on building good habits as you get ready for surgery. This will help keep your mind off of all this other stuff. The few days leading up to surgery always seem to be the hardest for most people. I know having surgery like this is scary and not knowing the future can be just if not more scary.

For me, it was very important to remain focused on the end result. Why I was having this surgery in the first place. I was able to visualize what life would be like without all of the health issues I had. I was able to think about life without as much pain in it. I called it having my eye on the ultimate prize.

I am only 6.5 months post op right now and down 91lbs and still would like to lose another 55. For several months I have been looking and feeling the positives that come with losing this much weight. The reality is, I am a whole new me! One that is living life to the fullest.

- I can run up the stairs without feeling like I am going to pass out

- I am NOT afraid to get on the scale or go to the doctor for fear of more bad news

- I can fit in an airplane seat without using and extender (in fact, there is a lot of room left in the seatbelt

- I can keep up with my Grandchildren

- I can run around the house and my husband cannot catch me

- People who did not know me before surgery have no idea I was ever morbidly obese

- People who do know me do not recognize me (happened twice this week alone)

- I can buy my clothes in any store I want

- I can also wear Victorias Secret lingerie (who new that that would feel so great)

- All of my health issues have resolved with the exception of 1 that I was not expecting to resolve (I had MANY including stage 3 kidney disease)

The moral of the story is you should focus your time on why you are having this surgery and try to let yourself get excited about it. It will make the anxiety go away and you will actually become excited before surgery. I know the morning I went to the hospital, I no longer had any fear, just pure excitement and could not wait for it to be over so I could start my new life.

You won't lose yourself, you will just be amazed at the new you!

Good luck to you! I will say a prayer for a safe and speedy recovery

[Kimberly Bouche-Perez 48]

Hi, If you wern't scared something would be wrong with you, lol. I had bypass 22 months ago. Actually I just had a Tummy Tuck 3 weeks ago. (Not fun, not fun at all)

But.....

I can walk more then 20 feet without knee pain

I can keep up with my grand kids

I can walk a mile and entire mile in 15 mins

Cloths fit they actuqlly fit

I can go into the store and buy regular clothes, not plus size

I can fit at those bucket tables without my stomach barley fitting in

Up until a week ago, I still saw the fat Kim

Now I have a problem keeping weight on. I am 'under weight' now.

It is crazy that 22 months ago they were telling me loose loose loose, lol

As far as you worring about being stuck up and so.

You will be the same loving person you are now.

The surgery changes the outside. YOU change the inside.

This site is great for aupport I wished I found it saooner.

I am here for you if you need me.

Good luck and I look forward to hearing good things from you!

[TXMissy 211]

I am so excited, but I have so many questions. I want answers, but I think some of it we are just going to have to find out on our own. I can't wait to find my first pair of jeans in the regular size section, or to walk between two chairs without fear of not fitting. I am so glad that there is someone on here to share each step with. We have 2 days to go!! You got this!

[turndown4what91 27]

Thanks everyone I appreciate the words if encouragement. Your replies have got me being more excited about it now than o am nervous I know this is the start of a new life but it's a better new life! A life in which I can experience actual happiness and I can't wait. 2 days left!!

[MariaElena1983 17]

I've been overweight/morbidly obese my whole life. I had RNY 8 weeks ago. I have to say I was scared to death. I even had a moment of regret after the surgery. It was harder than I thought it was going to be. Adjusting to the new me. Mostly the new way of eating. I have lost 32lbs. since the surgery. I am so happy now. I don't have any regrets now. You just have to get over the "hump". Once you do it will seem so worth it. I have a lot more weight to lose but I am so excited to start seeing more changes. I can't wait to be more confident. I can't wait to go shopping and actually enjoy it. I know I have a ways to go but I am so ready for the journey! Good luck with everything!

[turndown4what91 27]

I've been overweight/morbidly obese my whole life. I had RNY 8 weeks ago. I have to say I was scared to death. I even had a moment of regret after the surgery. It was harder than I thought it was going to be. Adjusting to the new me. Mostly the new way of eating. I have lost 32lbs. since the surgery. I am so happy now. I don't have any regrets now. You just have to get over the "hump". Once you do it will seem so worth it. I have a lot more weight to lose but I am so excited to start seeing more changes. I can't wait to be more confident. I can't wait to go shopping and actually enjoy it. I know I have a ways to go but I am so ready for the journey! Good luck with everything!

Thank you!!! And congratulations on your success! I can't wait until I can say the same things about myself!

[turndown4what91 27]

I know I made this post in April.. But I just wanted to follow up on it in case there is anyone out there right now who feels the same way and has the same fears.. I went through with the surgery. I was absolutely terrified and as soon as I woke up I had regret after regret. I was in so much pain. I was so depressed. I hated myself and I hated life. But then... Then things got better! I am now 4 months post op, I have lost 92 pounds since the day of my surgery, and I would go through it all over again in a heartbeat. Being scared and having second thoughts is bound to happen, but I can promise you it is WORTH IT!! thanks so much to the people who responded to me when I was having doubts and eased my mind. You were all right. And now I can say the same thing. ❤

[CGrindstaff 0]

_{Thank you for letting us know that you are doing so well. My surgery is scheduled for August 31. I have gone through every emotion possible at least a dozen times and I am sure it will get worse as the day gets closer. It helps so much to be able to come to this site and see that people are experiencing the same fears and emotions that I am and that they are happy that they went through with the surgery.}

Edited August 21, 2015 by CGrindstaff

[QuilterGal 216]

I went through these emotions before my surgery. I knew they were rational emotions and that many people have them. I just had to put them on a shelf and push them to the side so they didn't overwhelm me. I intentionally stopped thinking about all of the "what ifs" and told myself "onward, we're doing this!" The day before surgery and the morning of surgery I was extremely calm. It helped that I had a wonderful surgical team and felt very secure in their hands. I've had no problems since my surgery July 27.