Having a hard day today and feeling like a failure

[snowkitten 371]

I am having a really hard day today. Head hunger and old bad habits have reared their ugly head. I have an almost uncontrollable urge to eat carbs to increase energy (candy, chips, brownies, etc…). I have resisted the urge but it’s hard. Im SO tired and depressed. Im in my 7^th month (8^th as of the 25^th and my next dr follow up) and im “behind schedule”. He wants me to have lost 117 lbs by my 1 year mark and at 7/8 months I’ve only lost 70. It doesn’t help that I haven’t lost anything in over 10 days… in fact ive gained a lb. Most likely due to my period but still depressing.What if i'm done losing and this is it?! I also keep seeing all these people who started out near my weight who have lost 100+ lbs in 4-6 months!!! Its making me feel like a failure and like I got the wrong surgery. Sorry for the negativity, I just really needed to vent to people who would understand. Thanks

[LipstickLady 25,682]

You are absolutely allowed to feel like a horrible mess of a failure for 3.......2.......1...... and STOP.

It's completely normal to have a bad day, in my opinion. The fact that you recognized it and have the desire to fix it is what's key here.

Cookies and brownies may give you a temporary "energy" surge but that will be followed by a sugar crash and next day hunger. Instead, reach for a bottle of Water and go for a quick walk. Fresh air and a cool drink will get your blood moving and clear your head to make better choices.

As for your doctor's goals? Tell him to suck it. You are doing AMAZING. Seventy pounds in 7 months is great. Keep up the great work and don't give up on yourself. You are totally worth more than that.

No more pity parties. Trust me, they won't help and it will only waste a few precious moments towards your new self.

[mae7365 372]

Well I totally understand the lapse in program as I've been "carb loading" for the past 3 weeks and I've gained 2 lbs. I'm 4 months post op today and I've lost 56 lbs. so far and I'm very happy with that. But you are not alone in this lifetime journey. I'm trying to put the past behind me and start each day with a fresh attitude about what I eat and more importantly what I don't eat. All I can say is don't give up on yourself. You've lost 75 pounds and you have to feel better about yourself for that.

If you need to give in to the "carb" craving, I've purchased BelVita Breakfast biscuits. If you eat the whole package it's 230 calories and 4 grams of Protein. I eat 2 out of the 4 biscuits when I'm craving carbs. They are nutritious, but have 35 grams of carbs. I know I feel better about eating them than when I was eating candy bars, Cookies and cake. And they taste good.

[JamieLogical 8,708]

I hate that your surgeon is setting deadlines for weight loss. I think it's such a mistake to do that, since everyone loses at a different rate. What does it matter WHEN you reach your goal as long as the scale is trending downward? It makes me really mad that he would put that kind of pressure on you and cause you undue stress.

You've lost 75 pounds! That's amazing! You've developed new healthy habits and changed your relationship with food! Keep up your good work and you will get results. Everyone has down days. I had a couple of my own early this week when I was sick and couldn't exercise. But I got past them. I got better. And I did my full workout last night and feel great about it today! So hang in there!

[Bobby46 327]

Snowkitten, I totally get it! I am also 8 mths out tomorrow. For the last few weeks I have not tracked what I've been eating and I've had my hand in the candy jar...literally! I exercise about 5 days a week and I keep telling myself that I'm doing great because of the exercise, but I'm closing my eyes to the carbs that I have been shoveling in my mouth and the lack of good protein!!

I did great until a few weeks ago. About the 7 mth point I started feeling completely normal...like I haven't had surgery at all. That "I got this!" feeling. But, I don't. I know there's still restriction but I know I'm eating around it. I have my small meal but I push around the veggies and add a spoonful of Pasta. Or I just don't plan and eat what I can grab. Not tracking has made me feel like I've been eating mountains of food. It makes me feel out of control.

My son is in a lot of sports and is in boy scouts. We hit the road running at about 5 most nights and don't get in until around 7:30. So we hit fast food. I don't think that is a bad thing for me. I usually get a small chili from wendys or a plain chicken sandwich and just eat the chicken. Or I get a small salad with low fat dressing. Always bottled Water or sugar free tea to drink 30 mins later. But....last week I crossed over to chicken nuggets! I ate 4 of them and gave the rest to my son. The point is....I'm slipping. I am losing control and I watch myself do it. I let myself do it. I confess....I had it so easy up until now. Mentally, physically and emotionally easy. Easy surgery. Easy control. Easy weightloss. Well....now the work begins for me. I am determined to fight it. Yes, I have moments when I feel like a failure. I do. But....If I don't pull myself up by the boot straps and get back on this horse RIGHT NOW. Then its only going to get harder for me. All holidays are over and no birthdays until August. No excuse to have junky food in my house. Its NOW. I am forgetting the past few weeks and moving on!

I also agree with Jamielogical....don't worry about set weight goals. This is your body and no one else out there is like you. I am so glad my doctor has not set such high goals for me. His philosophy is still the ....you didn't put it on in a year, youre not going to take it off in a year....even with surgery. I'm hard enough on myself!

[Medi619 3]

I am only 3 weeks post op and I have had feelings of failure too. I've been wondering what I got myself into with this sleeve surgery because I can't seem to get enough fluids in yet. But I keep reminding myself that I did this because I want to be healthier. I know there are days that we are going to struggle with this but we didn't go through major surgery for nothing. 75lbs lost is great. Try to focus on the positive and don't be sorry for venting we all need to once in a while.

[bling2 1]

I feel you. I also feel like I've failed or the procedure itself has failed me. Also no support or input from the doctor and his staff. I'm almost a year and half post surgery and I've only lost 50 lbs since surgery. I haven't gained any weight and every one tells me I look great and physical I do feel great. The Dr prescribed diet pills to help but still not much weight loss. The 1st 6 months I complained that I wasn't able to tolerate the Protein Shakes, so they recommended lactose free milk and that still didn't work for me so finally 9 months later I was told to try egg based Protein which works however it's only 23 grams of protein. I had a GI Study today to check my sleeve and to see why I've been horrible acid relux. Now I'm just waiting on the results and trying to say positive. I wish you the best and don't give up.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

You are doing well. Don't let that looming deadline haunt you. 70+ lbs in 7 mths is 10lbs a month. So if you continue at that rate you could actually hit your doctor's goal. However I wish he had framed it more positively for you. Doesn't hearing, "Congratulations! You've lost 70lbs, if you keep losing at this rate you'll weight ________ in a year!" Sound better than demanding you lose such a big number by your 1 year anniversary?

Either way, here's the reality. You've lost 70+lbs! When was the last time you did that? Pat yourself on the back for working as hard as you have to get to this point. As for the cravings and low energy. I suspect it's a side effect of the emotions that are being stirred up due to feeling you are "behind" and the fact that the scale hasn't moved in 10 days. Now is the time to develop new coping skills instead of turning to the old friend food for comfort. Are you working out? I have discovered the endorphin that you get from a good, vigorous workout. Better than carb loading by miles. Instead of hoping on that scale and upsetting yourself, have you taken your measurements? Neck, boobs, waist and hips. Try doing that once a month and maybe give the scale a rest for a while.

Spring is coming, maybe try your hand at gardening. Or just try a new adventure that doesn't have anything to do with food.

You can do this, just hang in there, put the scale away for a minute and focus on eating well and exercising more.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

I think we've all been there - especially the fear that you've lost that last pound you are going to lose - ever! I thought that from the start...all the way to 140 pounds lost. The thing about the sleeve is that you don't lose super fast, or at least most people don't.

Ignore the "I lost 100 pounds in 6 months, at GOAL!" posts. That is the exception, not the rule. You'll see just as many post about slow loss. I almost never open those fast loss posts , lol. Good for anyone who can do that, but the hard cold truth is, we just can't control the rate at which we lose. We CAN control how we eat, making sure we follow the rules and doing our part.

I have tons of great advice for people, (because I'm like that ) but the most important thing I can say is that you just have to stick with it for the long haul, and it will work. It's not magic. Just do the best you can every day, and know you need to do this indefinitely. You are not failing, you are just living.

[B Autumn 20]

You are not alone. Totally with you. I know what I should be doing but the emotional part keeps getting the best of me. This great group of people here are helping me. I hope you start to feel the same way.

[Swampdoggie 477]

I agree with the posts in this thread that ALL our losses are bringing us to healthier and there's no single pace we should be comparing ourselves to. I think the pressure some of us feel to meet our drs' expectations is counterproductive. You should be congratulating yourself for the awesome work so far.

For me, going back to reading the science about what healthy food gives me and what crap food subtracts restokes the commitment.

[kyrickchick64 468]

You are absolutely allowed to feel like a horrible mess of a failure for 3.......2.......1...... and STOP.

It's completely normal to have a bad day, in my opinion. The fact that you recognized it and have the desire to fix it is what's key here.

Cookies and brownies may give you a temporary "energy" surge but that will be followed by a sugar crash and next day hunger. Instead, reach for a bottle of Water and go for a quick walk. Fresh air and a cool drink will get your blood moving and clear your head to make better choices.

As for your doctor's goals? Tell him to suck it. You are doing AMAZING. Seventy pounds in 70 months is great. Keep up the great work and don't give up on yourself. You are totally worth more than that.

No more pity parties. Trust me, they won't help and it will only waste a few precious moments towards your new self.

And they say your mean @@LipstickLady lol

[LipstickLady 25,682]

You are absolutely allowed to feel like a horrible mess of a failure for 3.......2.......1...... and STOP.

It's completely normal to have a bad day, in my opinion. The fact that you recognized it and have the desire to fix it is what's key here.

Cookies and brownies may give you a temporary "energy" surge but that will be followed by a sugar crash and next day hunger. Instead, reach for a bottle of Water and go for a quick walk. Fresh air and a cool drink will get your blood moving and clear your head to make better choices.

As for your doctor's goals? Tell him to suck it. You are doing AMAZING. Seventy pounds in 70 months is great. Keep up the great work and don't give up on yourself. You are totally worth more than that.

No more pity parties. Trust me, they won't help and it will only waste a few precious moments towards your new self.

And they say your mean @@LipstickLady lol

Yup. I'm a real b!tch.

[kyrickchick64 468]

I am only 3 weeks post op and I have had feelings of failure too. I've been wondering what I got myself into with this sleeve surgery because I can't seem to get enough fluids in yet. But I keep reminding myself that I did this because I want to be healthier. I know there are days that we are going to struggle with this but we didn't go through major surgery for nothing. 75lbs lost is great. Try to focus on the positive and don't be sorry for venting we all need to once in a while.

@@Medi619 I am 7 weeks out and felt like crap when I was where you are. You well turn the corner SOON. Just keep your Protein up abd Water going. I promise the last 2 weeks for me have been WAY better

[kyrickchick64 468]

I am having a really hard day today. Head hunger and old bad habits have reared their ugly head. I have an almost uncontrollable urge to eat carbs to increase energy (candy, chips, brownies, etc…). I have resisted the urge but it’s hard. Im SO tired and depressed. Im in my 7^th month (8^th as of the 25^th and my next dr follow up) and im “behind schedule”. He wants me to have lost 117 lbs by my 1 year mark and at 7/8 months I’ve only lost 70. It doesn’t help that I haven’t lost anything in over 10 days… in fact ive gained a lb. Most likely due to my period but still depressing.What if i'm done losing and this is it?! I also keep seeing all these people who started out near my weight who have lost 100+ lbs in 4-6 months!!! Its making me feel like a failure and like I got the wrong surgery. Sorry for the negativity, I just really needed to vent to people who would understand. Thanks

Your doing great! Don't worry about what the doctor wants. As long as you're keeping to the program why does it matter when you get there. You didn't put on all that weight in 7 months right? A little slower means your body has time to catch up and less stretch marks and excess skin. Keep a good diary to make sure your staying the course, drink your Water top flush out your stall. Your doing fantastic!