really struggling

[eyhornmom 36]

I am really having a hard time adjusting to my new lifestyle. I know why I made the decision to have this surgery, but I'm struggling with not being able to eat what I want to anymore. I'm tired of my pureed foods, and I want some pizza, or chicken wings, or orange chicken. I seem to have lost all the resolve I had before surgery for a healthy lifestyle. I want to be able to go out to eat and enjoy eating with my family. It makes me a little sad that those are all things that I can no longer have, probably ever. I knew I was giving all those things ups when I decided to have the surgery, but for some reason now I'm very depressed about it. This is making very unhappy in general. I no longer enjoy going to work, I'm having trouble motivating myself to workout, and I'm sure I'm unpleasant to be around. I'm already on an anti-depressant, so meds won't help, because they aren't helping. Has anyone else dealt with this?

[Djmohr 6,965]

I would be surprised if every person who has gone through WLS did not mourn food. First of all, it is probably because you are in the pureed stage and emotional following surgery which is making it worse.

This surgery is not for the feint of heart. It is very hard work, most of it mental. You have to stay positive and focus on all the reasons you had the surgery in the first place. Do not spend wasted time focusing on the negatives, it will only make you feel worse and that ultimately means you will struggle, like you are.

Keep your eye on the prize whether it was health reasons or simply because you wanted to lose weight. Pull your goals out that you wrote before surgery and remind yourself why you chose to have surgery.

I promise you will make it past this phase and if you stick to the right foods pretty soon you will crave healthy foods and not all the other stuff that made you heavy to begin with.

Also, having WLS does not mean that you will never eat those things again. You will simply have them once in a great while and in very small portions.

I wish you all the best, keep your head up and stay positive, it will help you succeed.

[Blue Sky 89]

Not sure how far out you are, but I had similar feelings early on. You will get thru the process. Just take one day at a time and concentrate on getting well. Your outlook will improve after you get thru this pureed phase. It gets better.

[wantingabetterlife 364]

Stay positive and as the NSVs add up, you forget how much you miss certain foods. I do miss my old go to's from the past but as I lose weight and have victories, I realize exactly why I gave them up. Hormones are a big factor here too. As you are losing fat, hormones are released. It can make us irritable, mad, sad, or just plain hard to be around! This is a hard stage to get through but you will! Keep your head up and stick to your plan, it's worth it!

[cat1802 14]

I think the liquid and purée stages are hard because if you have a family it can feel really isolating not to have food with them. I am almost 4 months out and I really enjoy eating out. I get salmon and broccoli or chicken and veggies and I always have leftovers for the next meal or two. You'll get there with enjoying food again.

[AvaFern 3,516]

Since you're in pureed foods, you're still pretty early out, but if it helps, you can eventually have all of the foods you love again, just in small portions. For example, today I had a wing for lunch...yes a wing. It was the ranch kind. I was never crazy about fried foods before surgery, but sometimes I really crave something salty. So today for lunch I was in the grocery store and I bought 4 wings. In the car I ate one, my desire for the taste was satiated, and I tossed the rest in the garbage when I got home. About two weeks ago I had my first piece of pizza in probably 2-3 years. I ate about 1/3 of it over the course of about a half hour, it was good, but I had no real desire or need to eat anymore than that.

I am "lucky" in the sense that the vast majority of food that tastes good (butter, sugar, fat) makes me barf almost instantly if I have more than a few bites of it. My sleeve has given me the opportunity to eat literally a few bites of my favorite food and then not only not be hungry for anymore, but in the event I don't stop myself, puke it all back up. I've been conditioned to enjoy food in a few bites and not pig out on anything.

So...right now you are missing food. I personally missed my old tv watching friend. It really was no fun for awhile to watch tv without enjoying food with it. Now, I eat while I watch TV but instead of eating the entire hour, I eat for maybe 20 minutes, I eat 1/8 what I used to, and I'm nice and full and happy with far fewer calories. I am 19 months out and I am at the point where most days I have about 800-1200 calories and the majority of it is food that is decent for me. If I want something bad for me, I eat it, and then I have no real need to eat too much of it. For example, I wanted a Chik Fil A grilled chicken sandwich tonight...I ate 1/4 of it, I am so full I am burping, and I have no interest in eating anymore. If you're keeping track, that was both a wing and a fast food sandwich in the same day. Breakfast was 230 calories of granola, my late lunch was a wing (100 calories) and dinner was 1/4 sandwich (75 calories). Later tonight I'll probably eat a granola bar (150 calories) or maybe a bag of rice chips (150 calories), but I'm not hungry right now, so maybe not. Ultimately, I didn't eat very healthy today, but I am well within the required calories, so I don't have to be worried that tomorrow I will gain weight. Once you are used to your sleeve you will learn to balance healthy days with days where you splurge a little.

So...to make my long post less long, you will eventually be able to eat food that you like again and if you're like me it will be a few bites, you will be satisfied, and you can live life both as a thin person and as a person who can sometimes eat pizza and wings. Life doesn't end after sleeve surgery...it just tends to feel like it did for a few months.

Edited April 9, 2015 by AvaFern

[JamieLogical 8,708]

I think everyone goes through a period like what you are experiencing. At some point, the weight of the permanence of the surgery sets in. You realize that your relationship with food can never be the same. And when you are used to turning to food for comfort and that's the one thing you CAN'T do anymore, it makes it all the harder. It was tough tough for me probably into my 4th or 5th month to fully wrap my head around it. In those early days of solid foods, I even tried to eat my old comfort foods and was disappointed and frustrated because I couldn't eat enough of them to feel satisfied. I couldn't achieve that old feeling of comfort just eating one or two slices of pizza the way I did when I could eat an entire pizza. Eventually my body and brain both caught onto the fact that food just couldn't be my source of comfort anymore and I really don't crave those old foods anymore. Though, I assure you that you CAN eat pizza and wings again eventually. You just may not enjoy them the way you remember, which is a little sad, but really worth it in the long run when you think about the happy and healthy and full life you have ahead of you.

[josieanna75 8]

I am 10 days post-op and am struggling, too. Today was very emotional (crying at the drop of a hat, very fragile emotionally) and the head-hungry food cravings are making me insane!!! My loving and supportive family have no idea what I'm going through, so their love and support is just irritating me. (Did I mention I am a little emotionally fragile? Add irritability to that). I know this stage is temporary...soon enough we will be able to return to eating food (a lot less, a more healthy) like human beings. We will start to feel normal again. Things will get better. But today? Today I reserve the right to have a mini-breakdown, cry, and wallow in self-pity. I reserve the right to be mad at myself and mad at the world. I reserve the right hate my liquid food and exercise, too. But just for today. Tomorrow will be different. Hopefully better. I hope it is for you, too.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I am one of those weirdos that's never mourned food.

Instead, I mourn the healthy body I should have had when my kids were toddlers, elementary aged, in middle school. I mourn the years of missed family pictures because I hated being near a camera. I mourn the irreversible damage I did to my knees from being heavy for so long.

I mourn all the times I chose not to go skiing, or to the top of the dunes, or for a hike through the mountains. I mourn all the money I wasted on food that was slowly killing me.

I am almost two years out and I can eat anything I want. I am released from the constant need and desire to eat crap. I can spend my time outside with my kids, not overheated or panting for breath after a run down the trails. I can shop in the same stores as my two teens and I get a thrill every time they borrow something from my closet. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.

I have more energy than ever before. I can do anything I want. I am no longer the fattest person in the room. It's a amazing feeling.

Hold on, chicky. You will get there!

[purrfctangel 239]

I'm really starting to struggle in another way. This has been way too easy. I almost feel like my Sleeve isn't working and i could eat anything. My stomach makes alot of noise but no pain, no nausea. I'm on pureed and made a smoothie. Kept sipping and just never felt that STOP feeling. It's taking willpower to not only have 2oz. This isn't what i expected. I almost want to eat something awful just to see if my Sleeve stops me. Any advice?

[woo woo 872]

Liquid flows through the sleeve. You will feel full very very quickly when you start on solid foods.

[alwaysvegas 702]

Being satisfied on 4-5 oz of food post-op has been much more rewarding than being stuffed on 4 cups of food pre-op. I can't explain why it is, but it is.

Best of luck!

Edited April 10, 2015 by AlwaysVegas

[purrfctangel 239]

@ woo woo Thank you. I was spiraling a bit tonight. It was the first day the scale didn't go down (i need to stop the daily check) and I'm just hungry to the point my stomach growls. Drinking Water so I've heard acid can cause/mimic hunger. Thinking of going back on Prilosec. I'm grateful i haven't had complications and pain and nausea but frustrated that I feel like I'm ready for a piece of chicken.< /p>

[scoutmom 63]

I am one of those weirdos that's never mourned food.

Instead, I mourn the healthy body I should have had when my kids were toddlers, elementary aged, in middle school. I mourn the years of missed family pictures because I hated being near a camera. I mourn the irreversible damage I did to my knees from being heavy for so long.

I mourn all the times I chose not to go skiing, or to the top of the dunes, or for a hike through the mountains. I mourn all the money I wasted on food that was slowly killing me.

I am almost two years out and I can eat anything I want. I am released from the constant need and desire to eat crap. I can spend my time outside with my kids, not overheated or panting for breath after a run down the trails. I can shop in the same stores as my two teens and I get a thrill every time they borrow something from my closet. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.

I have more energy than ever before. I can do anything I want. I am no longer the fattest person in the room. It's a amazing feeling.

Hold on, chicky. You will get there!

Amazing post.....hits home for me! I loved reading this and can SO relate. I just got a date for surgery (May 23rd) and your description is exactly why I am choosing this surgery. While I am already mourning food and can't quite understand how I will win the mental battles of my relationship with food - I can't wait to feel like I am not the elephant in the room.

Thank you @@LipstickLady!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I would be surprised if every person who has gone through WLS did not mourn food. First of all, it is probably because you are in the pureed stage and emotional following surgery which is making it worse.

I did not mourn food. The closest I got to that was during all liquids when I got to the point where I just wanted to chew. I like to cook and I'm okay with trying recipes that have the same flavors but are more nutritious and have fewer calories.

I wonder if it's because of where I was at in my journey to health when I got sleeved. I had already changed a lot about my diet by the time I decided on WLS. Having food allergies that land you in the ER or in a medical coma changes how you view food. I'm okay with eating the smaller portions on a bariatric diet. Even better now that I am sleeved I can actually have 1 cookie and be okay.