How to SUCCESSFULLY find the "One" for you!

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

This is geared to the persons of Christian faith, be advised!

Looking for love in all the wrong places? Been there, done that, and more than once, I'll add! I've been married before, divorced, dated any and all kinds of fellas over a period of years, and, I was living in Las Vegas at the time. Not much luck. Dated a bunch of real losers, and some pretty decent guys, but none that "fit" just right. I was getting on in age, losing my chance at having a family if I didn't "act" soon. So, I had me a chat with the One who made me, and who would be better than He who made the "one" for me? But I had to find him, and I had had no luck up to this point.

So I made a list, just of the things I wanted and needed most in a life-partner. He could be fat, he could be bald, he could be a cop, he could be tall....but most of all he had to have a sense of humor! Then I decided to TRUST. Trust the One who made me and the One who made the "one" for me. I put the list in His hands, let go, and left it with Him.

At the time I was seeing another fella, but he was just there, nothing special (sorry, Chuck!). One day, at my office, I heard some steps behind me. I turned around and saw a man standing there. I looked at his ring finger, no ring! I looked at him, REALLY looked at him and said to myself "THAT'S HIM!!!", the "one" I would marry. We chatted for awhile, he was new to the office, then went on our merry ways. Next day he asks me out. I told him I couldn't as I was seeing someone else. Poor Chuck didn't see it coming. I went to Chuck's and, as nicely as I could, dumped him. He never saw it coming, but then neither did I! After 2 months, which I felt was a reasonable amount of time, I asked the "one" to go out on a picnic, and we did. We dated for 2 weeks, then became engaged! He said he knew the moment he first saw me, and I said the same!

We got married a year after that and have been married now for 18 years. So what is the big deal? How did I KNOW he was the "one"? My husband was chubby, balding (now bald!!!), is a cop, is tall, and has one heck of a sense of humor (he married me, didn't he?!)! Not a big deal? Well, that's where the best part comes in. My husband, who was the "one" made for me, by the One who made me, is exactly (EXACTLY) NINE MONTHS - to the day - YOUNGER THAN I. He was, indeed, MADE for me!!!

So, if you truly want to find the "one" made for you, make your list, let the One who made you do all the work, and TRUST. You have to do this 100 percent, otherwise it will fail.

Oh, and by the way, this works for dream houses, as well! Found ours last May. This list thing works like a charm! TRUST.

[MrsSugarbabe 727]

Love your love story, @@CanyonBaby!!! Thank you for sharing it.

I met the "one" for me 12 years ago through a similar process as yours (list, prayer, trusting), although God had me waiting until I was 47 to bring us together. And guess which avenue He used to bring us together?? I always figured I'd meet "him" at church or through other Christian singles. Not!! It wasn't until 2 of my girlfriends and I decided just for the heck of it to sign-up on eHarmony New Year's Day 2003 when they were offering 3 months free. My attitude was "fine if I met someone, fine if I didn't" because I had learned "to be content" with my life. I was serving my Lord, fellowshipping with other believers, and had a great group of Christian friends. Gary and I met a couple weeks after I signed up, first coffee date was 2/13, got engaged in May and married in October 2003. We're like peas in a pod. Although he calls me his little Sugar Babe I had always wanted a daughter, but gained 3 adult daughters and 2 grandkids when we married. My bonus daughters and I have a great relationship and I have now have 8 grandkids. Extremely blessed!!! Beyond anything I could have imagined New Year's Day 2003!!

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

That is SOOOO awesome, I just love hearing about these things! If people would just trust the One who made them, and be WILLING to wait for things to work out, they would be very surprised! Sometimes these things DO take time, afterall, there are a lot of factors involved. For example, take my "dream house". It was built 12 years ago. I had to wait for 2 families to move in and out of it, have the job in the area, have the financing available.....so many things go into it. Same thing with a spouse, I had been married prior, my now-husband lived across the country, we were born on opposite sides of the country, my job took me all over the country, as did his...just finding each other was a miracle!!! Lots of things go into all of this, how could it POSSIBLY be done? How can all of this come together? Only by the Good Lord above, who not only has His plan in place, but works it out no matter HOW we humans throw it curve balls! Onto "Happily Ever After"!!!!!

[jacileggs 402]

This gives me hope. I have been single for 16 years. My kids are nearly grown and am now emotionally ready to be open to the possibility of finding love.

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

@@jacileggs

The most important thing to remember is to totally TRUST that He will do this for you, and be patient enough to wait Him out!!! And don't be surprised, sometimes what you have been waiting for is right before your eyes, and has been there all along. Best wishes to you....

[My Bariatric Life 764]

@@CanyonBaby I am not Christian but I deeply believe in the concepts of what you've written although I practice them a little differently (prayer and meditation). Please tell me how exactly is it that you sustained belief/trust 100% over the long haul and kept your thoughts 100% positive (free of doubt)? What is your advice to believers stuck in a rut of doubt and whom want to find their way back to 100% trust and 100% positive thoughts?

Thanks and so very happy for you!

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

@@My Bariatric Life

Exactly. What the word means. It calls for definitiveness; and in the human world, in my opinion, it is hard to use that word as there are so many variables in life. And since there are as many opinions, viewpoints, and belief systems, we also must tread carefully when evaluating one another's faiths.

Faith. It is what I live by. The very definition of faith, in MY book, is believing in things not seen. I don't have to SEE love to know it is there. You cannot SEE love, but TRUST that you have it, by a loved one. By the things they do, say, and eminate.

My Lord Jesus died on a cross for me over 2000 years ago. I didn't have to see it to know it happened, I didn't have to see Him rise again to KNOW He DID. There were eye-witness accounts and recollections. I, fortunately, had the blessing of being raised Christian, but I didn't come to REALLY know Christ until I allowed myself to see what He has done for me.

In all of my life and the adventures I have lived through, He has shown me repeatedly He was there, and in control of the situation(s). How? By the way things worked out, whereas things could have turned out SOOO differently if I did not trust in Him to handle it. And He did that because I asked Him to. In most cases, not knowing what to do, I would ask Him to take control, and whatever He saw fit to do, or have me do, would be ok by me. Thy will be done. This is where faith steps in, and trust. I trust Him to do the best for me, because He promised He would, and has made it more and more abundantly clear every time I LET Him have control.

The biggest rut I see people have in following this path, is themselves. It's kinda like that trust game, where they tell you to fall backwards into someone's arms, and they will catch you. You can't see them, but you KNOW they will not let you down, will not allow harm to come to you. You just have to trust. The more you trust Him, the more you see what miracles can happen as a result.

What stops EVERYTHING in it's tracks, in my opinion, is when the person all of a sudden STOPS the trust, and takes back the task. So why should He continue on? Since we humans know SOOOO much, why should He step in and take back the control. Arrogance on the human's part? Fear? Whatever the reason, you are no longer trusting the One who made you, who promised you (because you believe in Him and what He has done for you - that cross-thing again) to fulfill the promise, or do what you have asked.

One thing we must remember, as Christians who believe in creation and in the fall of mankind, is that we are still human. And this is a broken world. Bad things happen, and many times, with no apparent reason. But there is a reason. And those "unanswered" prayers ARE answered, just not necessarily in the time-frame we would like, or the answer we WANT to hear. We must accept what He has done, or not done, as His plan; and in OUR eyes, for better or worse.

It goes back to the faith-thing. We MUST trust that what happens, what answer is given (or not), is part of the plan, and GO WITH IT. I could tell lots of faith-stories that I have experienced over the years, but what works for me is not necessarily right for everyone. And not everyone will have the same results, as we are different people, with different plans. I am married to a police officer. My faith (and my husband's) carry us through VERY difficult times. I have had many serious health issues over the years. Once again, my faith steps in. I have had loss, and I have peace. Because I believe in Heaven and an eternal life with Christ in Heaven. He lives in me, and I in Him. He loves me, and I love Him. He died for me, and I would die for Him. He rules my life, and I let Him. Because of this verse "I also know the plans I have for you: plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11. When things get tough, scary, sad....I repeat this verse, and it gives me comfort, peace.

Doubt will always rear it's ugly head, because we are human. We LIKE to have control. We NEED to have control (at least in our minds). That is where trust and faith come in together. You ask about getting 100 percent doubt-free. Not possible, as humans. But God, who made us, KNOWS we're human, and steps in to show us those miracles WHEN (but not always!!!) we show faith. The more you learn about God, with an open mind, the more you will WANT to learn.

I hope this LONG dialogue helps answer some of your questions. You've heard the phrase "Leap of Faith", well, that's what it is. I have leapt, been caught, and am eternally grateful. Thanks for asking, and thanks for listening!

[My Bariatric Life 764]

@@CanyonBaby thank you for taking the time to share such a well thought out and impassioned reply. You have given us something to reflect upon. Thank you.

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

Just a simple follow-up: What do I have without Him? Not much, and nothing for the future. What do I have with Him: everything, and eternal life.