Apparently I'm uncomfortable with attention

[Idonerds 136]

More so the attention from males I don't know if I should ran, stare, do something strange, or say hi... I've come closer to the more acceptable range of thick in the African American community and it attracts a different type of suitor which is freaking me out ...they are overly aggressive

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Head up, shoulders back, confident smile, take no sh!t attitude.

You'd be amazed at how effective a good resting bitch face can be.

[MommyMeghan 92]

I have noticed that the weight loss has triggered a lot of attention. I take it as a compliment and assert my married mother of three status. No harm in a little attention.

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

Are you married? Are you looking? A smile, then a "I can't be bothered" look usually does it for me! If your not ready for that kind of attention, and you're NOT married, consider getting a ring for yourself, to be taken off when the RIGHT one comes along! ENJOY this time; as we get older, the looks get less frequent!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Yep, a quick "thank you" and a "chile please!" look is all it takes.

[Idonerds 136]

Head up, shoulders back, confident smile, take no **** attitude.

You'd be amazed at how effective a good resting b***h face can be.

I wish I has resting b***h face my face is always stuck on super happy. Lol

[Idonerds 136]

Are you married? Are you looking? A smile, then a "I can't be bothered" look usually does it for me! If your not ready for that kind of attention, and you're NOT married, consider getting a ring for yourself, to be taken off when the RIGHT one comes along! ENJOY this time; as we get older, the looks get less frequent!

Single and looking... but following me 3 city blocks in your car is scary

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

@@Idonerds

Ok. My husband is a cop, so I'll give you his advice. How many times has this person followed you? Get a good description, try to get a license number, and if it is repeated, call the police. Do not stop for the car, even if he hits you, just drive to the police station. If he follows you again, if you can, drive to the police station. Do not confront the person. If you have more concerns, call your local police to ask for their advice. You are in my prayers, and good luck to you!

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Are you married? Are you looking? A smile, then a "I can't be bothered" look usually does it for me! If your not ready for that kind of attention, and you're NOT married, consider getting a ring for yourself, to be taken off when the RIGHT one comes along! ENJOY this time; as we get older, the looks get less frequent!

Single and looking... but following me 3 city blocks in your car is scary

Call 911 on your cell, drive to the nearest police station if you know it. Make a report even if they just humor you. Make sure you get the report number in case this happens again.

[Grateful_Love 114]

Girl. Same here.

I didn't tell anyone at work about surgery, just took personal time for a hernia repair and an ulcer--that I didn't have, but didn't want to be criticized or questioned.

A few years before surgery the manager of my mental health group home job was super into me. (Even at 295 pounds.) he was my husbands friend and was going to be in our wedding!! Anyway, he started texting me about work at first---and then it went into a "leave him for me" conversation. Not kidding you. It was a long and tumultuous conversation because I LOVED the attention of being wanted by two men, and my husband has always been super stable, calm, confident and this other guy is a trainwreck, impulsive, wreckless. I felt like I was in a movie.

Long story short, I got away from my cold feet about being married, and I am happily married now to my husband and I didn't cheat and wasn't a ho-bag. I just cut ties, got a new job, processed why I liked that attention with my therapist, and all was well.

NOW as I've been losing, there's a dude at my new job--who is absolutely wonderful--in his own stable relationship long term..but we have always given each other the "side eye" since I started and are always aware what the other one is doing. Kind of like my work husband. But it is was entirely innocent--he doesn't even have my number, I have never been out for drinks with him even when other coworkers go out..I realized I needed to keep boundaries when I worked with my therapist way back when the first incident ended. So I've kept boundaries with this guy, even though he is super innocently interested me as a human being/we are very similar in how we handle our cases, etc. He would be a great friend--but I blurred those lines once before in the last, so I'm armed with that awareness now.

But the SIDE EYES are getting more frequent. It's almost like I feel the sexual tension. And another person at work brought it up so now I'm terrified that I'm in some way doing something to lead him on---even though we are both in happy relationships.

HE hasn't attempted to make any moves (he's really not that guy) but people are paying so much more attention to me even though I haven't done anything different.

I HATE the attention.

I was walking to my car last week from Walmart in a not so good neighborhood around 11p because I had to run and get something late, and some random dude cat called me and said "hey yo ma!" I have never in my entire life been so scared.

60 pounds ago, I wouldn't have thought twice to cuss him out and go into how it's not okay to come at a girl in the parking lot like that. Now--he could have picked me up and thrown me in his trunk.

Being smaller, losing my armor. In some ways, it makes me paranoid.

Good luck. Call the cops. Carry mace and always wear shoes you can run in. That's my plan.

[CanyonBaby 1,852]

@@Grateful_Love

What would scare me is OPENING that trunk!!!! Love your dialog!!!

[downsizingdiva 459]

I haven't lost enough that I consider myself attractive again and I'm not getting "noticed" again yet. But if and when I do I know I'm not going to know how to handle it either. It's been a few years since I got looks, stares, glances, and smiles from men. I'll probably freak out too. But that brings up another subject we've talked about on here too. That new attention for me will probably bring mixed emotions thinking about the fact that if these people paying attention to me now wouldn't have taken a second look at me just months ago. I will feel weird about that too. I think if someone tells me how hot or good I look etc. I'm going to say well you should have seen me a hundred pounds ago!

[fit4life123 108]

Since I've lost I've found that I will confidently wear fitted clothes and have noticed more attention that I still don't know how to handle.

When I was 300+ I was getting some attention but now at almost 220s it is becoming more frequent.

It's overwhelming but my resting b*txhface game is pretty strong! (I commute to school) and I'm really good at ignoring it...plus wearing headphones helps in ignoring.

At least for the moment.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

...plus wearing headphones helps in ignoring.

This entire thread escalated quickly but as someone who trains in women's self defense, I do have to comment.

If you feel AT ALL as if you are in danger, call for help. Carry a rape whistle, download (free) apps on your phone like SafeTrek and Life360. Look for women's self defense classes in your area. Don't just BUY pepper spray, have someone teach you how to use it.

I carry a whistle, stun gun, and a kubaton at all times. I am aware of everyone around me and how close they are getting to me. Awareness is a HUGE piece of keeping yourself self.

I highlighted the above post not because it is wrong or "bad" but simply something I see women do and it scares me in relation to previous discussion in this thread. If it's dark, if you are in a shady area, if you are walking down the street or across a parking lot, have your keys out, phone away and earbuds off. Distracted women are the first women attacked. Truth. See what's around you, hear what's around you, all your senses should be on alert. Don't be a walking target.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

It's overwhelming but my resting b*txhface game is pretty strong! (I commute to school) and I'm really good at ignoring it...plus wearing headphones helps in ignoring.

There's a admittedly fine line between a guy say 'hey", street harassment and stalkers. the first 2, yeah a bit of attitude and a look may take care of that, the stalkers are a different story. I wouldn't advise any female to walk with headphones on. You need to be safe and aware of your surroundings at all times. I have 911 on speed dial on my phone and I carry my keys in defensive mode, ready to stab an eye if I need to.