female only Things men say when told about WLS :)

[SleevePerry 248]

I had a guy friend who was internet dating. He went out with a woman who, on their second date, told him that she had been on the television show, The Biggest Loser. She came over to his house for their third date to watch a movie (wink wink) and he blew it by getting blackout drunk and falling asleep while they were making out. He explained that he did this intentionally, that he didn't want to get naked with a former fatty with saggy skin.

I never spoke to him again.

[Packerfan61964 293]

<----------- is single and available!!! :-)

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

And all the rest of us can say is... too bad you are all the way across the country.

<----------- is single and available!!! :-)

[drmeow 323]

Yep, I'd love to meet a man who'd also had WLS and could understand the whole lifestyle change, etc.

@@Packerfan61964 - you have a great pic!

[Bluesea71 698]

I'm going to chime in with my my clinical hat on and play the role of devil's advocate. Was there not a spark of truth to what boy toy #3 said? I'm yet to meet someone who had WLS who felt in control of their weight and body before surgery. Most of us were NOT smart about the choices we made pre-surgery. That's partly how we ended up where we did. Oftentimes when we have intense reactions to people, places and things, it's because a deep wound has been awoken in us. It rarely has little to do with the current thing going on, but the old fear or wound it has triggered inside of us. Instead of fearing it, embrace it as an opportunity to explore and learn more about yourself. The one thing I have learned over the past year post-surgery, is the actual surgery was the easy part. Learning to love and accept my new body has been a challenge I wasn't prepared for.

Boy toy's comment DID offended you. The question is, what is preventing you from addressing this directly with him? Telling HIM how his comment made you feel? There is a possibility he didn't mean the comment in the way it came across. Give him a chance to clarify or apologize. We all view things through our own life filter. You would be surprised how often we misinterpret what others say to us on a daily basis. I think many people fear conflict. I embrace it.

In a relationship, conflict can work two ways - it can either drive two people apart, or lead two people to a closer level of intimacy. It forces us to have tough conversations which intimately bring us closer to a greater level of understanding. Just remember, there is someone out there for each of us. That person will accept you for who you are. There will be no lying. No need to hide your scars. Until that person arrives. Never compromise. You also have to remember that conflict is inevitable in any relationship. It's just a matter of how you HANDLE the conflict. If your coping mechanism is to dump and run every time you are offended, you may find yourself single and alone!

*BTW - Let's not downplay the complement boy toy gave you about your intelligence. I'm thinking he may expect such an intelligent woman to speak up as needed. Why is it we are so quick to focus on the negative? I think it's awesome he likes you for your BRAINS ????

Edited April 19, 2015 by Bluesea71

[lmb012182 61]

When I told my husband about WLS and my resulting loose skin, he told me that he thinks I am beautiful and that was that. Since then we've talked about my getting Tummy Tuck, because the skin issue upsets me so much. I am grateful that he is someone I can tell these uncomfortable things to and that he has never been judgmental about them. I dated a few men who had comments about how weight would affect their opinions about a partner. In those instances I decided that they were entitled to their opinions and I am entitled to say adios!

[Packerfan61964 293]

<----- is VERY FLEXIBLE!!!! I'd move ANYWHERE for the RIGHT woman!!!!!

[Packerfan61964 293]

@drmeow........where's your pic and by the way......thanks for the compliment!! Been a LONG time since I've heard one. I am trying to figure out how to transfer my new pics from my phone to the pc......I hate this motorola phone!!!!

[peteyrulz 82]

take your little boy bs and get gone.

This. I'm sure it's always been this way, but I've noticed it as I've gotten older. But the world is filled with men who think every woman in the world must conform to his idea of beauty. They're assholes, plain and simple. I know this because I have many friends who think this way, even though, they themselves are far from perfect. Luckily, I don't have to date any of them. But be warned ladies, they are out there. They don't have a sweet side that no one else knows about. They're not sensitive once you get to know them. When you peel back the layers on an jerk, you just find more jerk. To the OP, your time is much better spent on finding a person who will appreciate who you are now, and the journey you took to get here. So it might be time to fire up that long dormant sense of self confidence and tell him if he has a problem with it, he can hit the bricks. Sorry for posting in the ladies room, I'll see myself out [/

@Jerr_Berr

I was just perusing this thread & your post caught my attention and I've got to say, YOU ARE A CLASS ACT!!!

I love this:

"When you peel back the layers on a jerk, you just find more jerk."

No truer words were ever written! It amazes me how shallow some folks can be.

[Dabliss111114 180]

@@Packerfan61964

Way to go champ!!! You'll make your goal before you know it.

Some lucky woman will show up in your life and appreciate you for who you are. Your day is coming!!

[Packerfan61964 293]

I would hope so......but It really doesnt seem to be actually happening OH WELL....... :-(

[alindsey 230]

What a bunch of douche lords!!!! I don't plan on telling anyone I've had it (June 8th date) I prefer to let them think I'm just a picky eater. If you do tell a guy wait till your long term super serious like marriage talk. They shouldn't care. If anything they should be proud!!! I hate a-hole men lol this post made me so mad ha ha

[aishajusteasha 13]

Don't tell men what you've done until you've really gotten to know them on a deeper level. Telling a man you had wls isnt sexy in their eyes and some may not know how to psychologically digest it. Personally I wouldnt ever tell unless need be

Edited May 4, 2015 by aishajusteasha

[bluesclues 49]

How would you explain the scars? Mine are still quite dark and the ones from my gallbladder removal like 8 years ago are still there but aren't like dk purple/bruisey colored

[alindsey 230]

Say you had a laproscoptic surgery leave it at that, if he wants details say you had your

gallbladder out which hey It's not a lie, if you want to lie say you had a exploratory lap for endometriosis or to have your appendix out.