Only Slightly Freaking Out

[debbie813 20]

I've been researching this for almost a year. I wasn't absolutely convinced but went through the process knowing I could "opt out" any time. Finally decided in January to go forward, was approved, etc. I was looking at July or August but because of my work schedule I asked if I could have it done sooner. This was yesterday. The Physicians Assistant came back with a surprising answer - I could have my surgery on April 27th! So I'm going for it. I got the time off and I think I'm ready. And of course I'm so nervous. I have to have my pre op appointment next Friday and still have 6 lbs to lose (I've lost 18 lbs from my heaviest).

Is it normal to be this nervous? If I think about it I could have a full on panic attack. I feel like it's the right decision for me, but I also grapple with the guilt and shame of not being able to do it on my own. Does anyone else feel that way? What do you think is the best way for me to get over my fear and guilt? Any suggestions?

On Saturday I'm having a final (for a while) nice dinner -- I even feel guilty about that. Can you tell I suffer from guilt? Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

You all seem so nice -- I hope to find a community here where I can share and get to know everyone. Thanks for listening.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I had a brain tumor. I couldn't fix that on my own.

The brakes on my car were bad. I couldn't fix that on my own.

I got pregnant. I coudn't deliver my babies without a whole staff load of people in the room looking up my hoo-haw. TWICE.

You are having surgery. To fix a problem that could KILL you via heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. You are still going to have to eat right, exercise, plan your day, drink your Water, follow up with your doctor.

You will be doing it "on your own", because I can tell you this for sure. Unless you have a whole 'lotta money, there is not going to be anyone following you around, slapping the bad food out of your hands for the rest of your life. There is not going to be anyone walking for you and giving you caloric credit. There is no one going to be putting in an IV while you sleep so you stay hydrated.

No guilt allowed. You have a lot of work ahead of you. Save the energy you would use on guilt and focus on planning out how you are going to enjoy the life you are giving back to yourself after you take care of this health problem of yours.

[SimplySharon 30]

Congrats on the date!! Instead of guilt look at it the other way around...guilt is probably what got us into this position in the first place! I had a date set, twice...guess what I did? Backed out the first, and did a no call no show the second so now I'm meeting with my surgeon on Monday to explain what happened and pray he'll set me another date...I let fear & guilt rule my feelings. Guilt that I couldn't do it on my own, that I couldn't eat what I wanted, etc etc etc....but in the past 5 months since I didn't show & thought I could do it on my own, guess what happened? I've gained 16 lbs...highest I've ever been now.

Finally decided not to let fear run my decision to be healthy and live life!!

I suffer from panic and anxiety disorder im a huge hypochondriac, idk how I will get through this lol but I do know that if I want to live a long healthy life I HAVE to do this, I look at it as a life saving surgery just as if I had to go in for emergency surgery for any other reason to save my life, I wouldn't have a choice then...& I won't give myself a choice now. We got this!!! You got this!!! Guilt is just a form of fear and we become what we think...get that guilt OutTa there!!

[Jennxh 5]

Hi Debbie! I'm new here too and my sleeve surgery is the same day, April 27th. I have the same nerves and thoughts. I am scared, yet excited for a healthy, active life. I hope it is everything I am hoping for in the long run. Good luck and wishes to you on your day! We will do great!

[xoxloretta 0]

I'm suffering from the same fear! I'm so scared that I'm going to have the surgery done and want to eat the things i used to but won't be able to. I'm afraid that once I do it and have those feelings i'll freak out knowing i can't reverse whats been done to my stomach. Is this a sign that I shouldn't go through with the surgery or just normal feelings before something so life changing? Any feedback would be greatly appreciated

[debbie813 20]

Thanks everyone for your input. I just found this quote, "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength" - Leo Buscaglia. I have to remember that!

[Stephanie Stroup McIntosh 157]

I would recommend talking to a psychologist that deals frequently with food or WLS related issues. I personally didn't have too much guilt, but another woman who had surgery the same day as me did. We had gone to the same support group meetings (required by my surgeon). They also required a psych consult. This woman had some more issues to work through and met regularly with the psychologist. The day after my surgery when I was walking the hall, who was there but the psychologist. He came to help her those first 2 days in the hospital and walked with her and talked to her about her fears and guilt. She still sees him and probably will for a while.

I have another friend who had surgery 2 years ago. She was seeing a counselor for her marriage before she had surgery. She ended up realizing the marriage was pointless and spent a lot of time talking about her food issues. She lost 100 pounds and kept it off.

Everyone is different. Just remember that you are important and deserve to be able to live a long full life. Surgery will help you. It is a journey, not a quick fix. You will be putting in the work. I say its no different than buying a treadmill. If you don't use the treadmill you won't lose any weight. Same thing with the sleeve. If you overeat or eat the wrong things, you won't lose the weight. No need for guilt in my book, but its ok that you have some.

Good luck.