THE moment..

[whippledaddy 5]

First, let me say that this is one fantastic thread. I'm gonna want to talk to each of you as I progress on my book about this band. Yes, I AM writing one. Couldn't help it. You folks inspired me to do it. I've got 3000 words right now (a drop in the bucket) and more are roiling around in my fevered little mind somewhere.

Now, my moment:

I was at a training seminar. We were on the CPR part. I had just successfully saved the truncated dummies life and I couldn't get up. I had to crawl over to a table on my hands and knees to get up.

When I stood up, and had to pull up my pants (of course, it's like the fat guys national hobby) I looked around. Everyone in the course was staring at me. Some had looks of deep sympathy, some looked disgusted even sickened. Today that room is clear in my mind. I can recall every nano-second. My pulse was thrumming in my head, my eyes felt enlarged and distended from the effort of standing. But most of all I could feel those eyes.

The stares washed across me like a shower of hydrochloric acid. Those eyes actually burned.

I didn't sleep that night, and the next day got in to my family doctor. He had always said when I was ready to tackle my weight to come to him. First he weighed me, something I hadn't allowed up to now. 366 lbs. My heaviest. Ever.

Then he talked to me for nearly an hour. We discussed all the times I had dieted. How sometimes I lost weight really well, but it soon crept back. Finally he asked me to consider the possibility of Weight Loss Surgery. He told me of the Roux en Y, and of the Lap Band. He set me up with a learning meeting with the surgeon. There I was familiarized with both surgeries.

Now I knew about the RNY because my wife had it. It was too invasive for me. But the band caught my eye and my intellect. So here I am, going to be banded on 11-16.

Gee, I wonder if they call it the lap band because after being banded you get your lap back?

[leatha_g 4]

Excellent post. This is my kind of support. I like the sharing. However, it's late and I don't have the energy to write it all out again, so I hope you won't mind if I copy and paste a letter I shared with a woman on another board recently. It definitely has my 'moment' in it, but sort of tells the whole story of why I so badly needed to regain my health as well.

Enjoy*************************************************

I have lost 67lbs. I still have about 40 to go.

I did have some very serious health issues and still do, I guess.

after a relatively minor procedure in 2000, I developed a DVT. I begged off

the blood thinners out of denial/fear. My dad had had terrible problems with

clots etc and I guess I didn't want to believe it could be anything but a

coincidence. They let me off after 3 mos. 6 months later, I suffered a

Pulmonary Embolism. That was June, 2001. It took me a long time to recover

from that. I gained nearly an additional 50lbs over the next 2 yrs and was

completely miserable.

I also smoked, which I quit in September, 2002. My cholesterol had shot up

to 306 and my weight reached 250 and I was still smoking. Even after a

Pulmonary Embolism threatened my life and pretty much cut my lung capacity

in half.

I started traveling for my job again and it became clear to me that I was

heading down a path of destruction but my 'desire' to be more healthy or

lose weight was not enough.

I made one trip to my rheumatologist(I also have systemic lupus which is

very inactive.) and I told her that I was ready to do anything, .Liquid

fast, having my jaws wired shut, anything. She gave me the name of some

doctor who did the liquid fast. I never called. But I did hear through the

grapevine at work that one of my co-workers had gotten the lapband. I had

heard of it, but never paid any attention because I didn't think our

insurance would cover it and I also felt that because I was on blood

thinners that I would never be a candidate. Once I heard she had gotten it,

I went straight to work researching. That was in June 2002.

July 2002, I flew to Houston, Texas to the only doctor I knew of in Texas

and he refused to do my surgery due to my Lupus and needing blood thinners.

He was afraid that if I ever became 'too tight' that I may not be able to

take the meds I needed so he didn't feel comfortable doing the surgery on

me. In the meantime, I was still reading the boards and one of the ladies

from Northern California also had Lupus and had also had the problems with

blood clotting. So I talked to her quite a bit about where and how she had

done with the band. (It just so happens that my ex-husband and son had moved

to her area about 2 yrs earlier.)

So, there had been some discussion between myself and my daughter about

moving to California to be closer to my son and since my job is 100% travel,

that was conceivable for me. This way, my paying rent would at least be

helping someone out as I was never really at home much anyway. It was a

win/win situation. AND it was close to this doctor that I had heard of who

might do this surgery for me. :-)

The decision was made that we would move to Northern Cal from Texas, so we

loaded up and went cross country and I had the lapband in my mind the whole

time. That was August, 2002. California is very against smoking and my

daughter and son in law had asked me to smoke outside, so that was the

beginning of the end for me. I stopped smoking the last week of September,

2002. During this time, I am glued to all I can read online about this band

and in my mind, preparing for this to happen.

I have been overweight all of my adult life, but as a teen I was pretty

small and vivacious. I thought I was fat at 124!!lol. but, I do think the

thing that really helped me to make my decision was the fact that I finally

had to ask for seatbelt extenders on the plane. Not every time, but it

happened twice and I was totally ashamed of myself and disgusted. Then, I

went to the beach one day with my daughter and SIL and there are very steep

inclines to get down to the beach in No. Cal which were very hard for me to

go down, but going up was even worse. They nearly needed to get a crane

to get me out of there and I was so humiliated and so out of wind once I

made it up, but my daughter was concerned for me. She was very scared that I

might just keel over right before her and she was right. I was in no shape

to be out there climbing. My life was just not as it was when I was smaller

and more healthy. I had to come to the realization that I was dying a

very slow painful death and I was doing nothing to make it better for

myself. I was depressed and self loathing and all I did was keep eating

all the wrong things to try to somehow close that gaping hole in my soul. It

wasn't working.

I finally made the call to Dr. Wetter in San Francisco to ask about the

Lapband. This was early 2003. Between my traveling and appointment times, I

believe I started in February. I was lucky. I only had to recall all the

previous diet attempts I'd had before and that was acceptable. I did have to

see a Cardiologist due to my previous cardiac ablation for PSVT (which is

when I got my first DVT) and I did have to see a Psychologist whom I chose

myself and had a wonderful visit. I saw the doc and turned over my paperwork

and was approved first try by Cigna PPO within a week (after his office

FINALLY turned it in). Then I had to work the surgery into traveling times

and bring my mom out to be with me.

The surgery went fine. I was the first ever to have a vena cava filter

placed immediately before the banding surgery and it went perfectly. I still

have my filter although it is one of the removable kinds. I chose to keep it

as a second line of defense. Thankfully so, because as you know, I had to be

re-banded this past July and then 6 weeks later had to undergo surgery to

remove my gallbladder..

So. It has been an interesting trip, but one I'm glad I've made even though

I am not the most disciplined of bandsters. I have eaten what I wanted for

the most part and intend to keep doing that. I would like to lose the

additional 40lbs, but if I never lost another pound this would have been

well worth the trouble. I truly think my quality of life was at a

devestatingly low level. I'm not done by any means, but I do go to

Curves 3-5 times a week (when I'm not recovering from surgery. ) I have

bought myself a bicycle and I do intend to ride it. And now I've signed up

for dance lessons, because I want to LIVE my life. I am alone. I have not

dated and I want someone in my life. I have to get out to meet people and

find common interests. So this is a step in the right direction and in the

meantime, maybe another source of exercise and enjoyment. Something I have

lived without for far too long.

I'm sure I've rambled all over the place here, but maybe that will let you

know a bit more about who I am and where I have been.

[MeganA 35]

What a fantastic thread.

I've never told ANYONE this (besides my doctor)...so I thought I'd tell the hundreds or so members of this board.

My moment(s) came when I started to have pains in my chest. It was this thread of pain that would come and go. I never told anyone because I was so ashamed.

When I was checked out by the doctor they didn't find anything that would indicate a heart attack or anything severe. But it scared the SH** out of me and I took it as a sign from my body that I just couldn't live at over 300 pounds anymore.

My dad had a heart attack at 38, my mom has type 2 diabetes and when I finally stopped to take stock of my health...it was like I had a crystal ball in front of me to tell me my future if I stayed on the current path. Denial is a very uncomfortable place to live...but at least it's familiar. But Now I feel like I have a future- and sometimes it's unfamiliar and scary...but that's when I feel most alive.

Megan

[LisaMG 5]

Thank you for starting this thread It's a good one.

I can't say that I've had "a moment" because I've had several moments...

I'll share just a few that come to mind...

How about the moment I sat down in one of those plastic lawn chairs and the legs gave way resulting in me on the ground in front of all of my friends. :straight

Then there was the moments when there was nowhere for me to sit because my butt was too big for all the chairs in the room, and when I would squeez into one of the seat when I got up the chair was stuck to my butt! If I swung around fast enough I could take out the whole row of people sitting behind me!

Oh yeah, how about the year I had season passes to Astroworld, I stood in line for an hour to ride the dungeon drop then the young man had to do acrobats to get the buckle to barely snap then the whole way up I was ferverently praying & repenting of all sins because I was sure I was gonna die when the buckle came undone! I somehow survived and vowed never to ride again! :dead

Then there was the time I flew to California, was the last passenger to board the plane and had to sit in the smallest seat on the whole aircraft. It took some creative thinking on my part but somehow fit & was bruised on both sides of my Texas sized hips for a week after. :hurt

The day I went to the Doctor and left with a prescription for Prozac because I was depressed and was entertaining the idea of strangling my husband and kids was a memorable day. Which resulted in more weight gain. :sick

Then there was the issue of not being able to buy cloths from a normal store but was forced to either learn how to sew or buy from those expensive specialty stores. :tired

The list could go on and on as you can see. I just thank God that I finally had the guts to go ahead and spend the $$ on this thing we call the band and start living again. :cool

[babsyintx 0]

Hi C,

There wasnt one defining moment, but a series of them. I couldnt walk up a flight of stairs without stopping 3 or 4 times. Everytime I got on an elevator it would jerk a little and I know people were looking at me wondering if the elevator would fall and they would plunge to their deaths! My feet hurt, my joints hurt and I couldnt run around with my kids. At over 300 lbs, I would have real panic attacks if I had to get on a plane cause I knew I wouldnt fit. So I was researching on the internet what options there were to lose weight and found the lapband. ONce I had it in my brain that this was what I wanted to do, there was no stopping me. Wow, what a different life I have now!!!

Babs in TX

334/192/170

-142

[~c~ 1]

What amazing people we all are!!!

Your stories touch me so much.We have lived so much heartache as a group!!I am glad that now and in the future we will be living happiness together on this board!

I've printed these pages and will keep them with me,in my purse.When i feel a moment of failure and think that it won't matter if i eat this donut(or whatever)i will read your stories to remind me that being healthy is ALOT more important than that piece of food!!

I love this place and all you folks!!!

Thank you for making me smile and cry and feel...

Chantal

[lapbander081004 7]

See you had to come up with this fantastic thread and you made all of us cry.

No matter where you go School, Sporting events, shopping, Family function and even church there is always someone who ruins it by have the type personality that just grinds at you. Well been on here for almost two months and I haven't found one that fits that. Its absolutely amazing to me.

Damn where did I set those tissues. LOL

Ty for this thread

[Zoe 6]

Chantal, I love your idea of printing everyone's story and keeping it with you. I'm going to do the same -- make a LapBand talisman that I can read again and again as a reminder of why I'm on this journey. Thank you!

Keep those stories coming if you haven't posted yet. . .

[HarleyNana 10]

My moment was when I heard of the band and began a mission of learning everything I could about it and when it finally became available in my area, I was the FIRST in line and will be the first to be banded. Dec 6th

I am so looking forward to NOT being the heaviest person at a social or family gathering. I have stopped attending socials because of those moments..soon though, I will be the topic of those socials.

[NancySmiles 2]

The moment I decided to take control of my life was August 14, 2003. Recognize the date??? Of course you do, because it was the day of the BLACKOUT all across the United States. They sent us home from work shortly after 4:15pm. I worked at a hospital and had parked on the roof of the parking structure as always. It was 94 degrees and miserable, especially with no A/C anywhere....talk about taking things for granted. I had to walk up two flights of stairs to get to my car. When I reached the top, I was extremely short of breath. But it was different this time...I couldn't straighten out my left side....it was numb. I knew EXACTLY what had happened and I was scared!!! If I fell now, during this blackout, nobody would find me; and if they did, would they be able to save me? Would they be able to carry me on the stretcher at the weight I was? The silly things we think about when we are scared to near death. This was something I said could never happen to me...after all it was only 10 days before my 49th birthday, and this only happens to old people. I had suffered, what was diagnosed later as, a "tiny stroke".

I was at the highest weight I had been my whole life and I had to do something about it. Why had I waited so long??? I was tempting fate and she was fighting back this time!!! I couldn't wait a second longer. From that day, I was on a mission! I was given one more "warning sign" and if I didn't listen this time...I wouldn't be around to tell you about my moment. I've been given one more chance to finally take this very serious life-threatening disease in hand and get it under control!!! How often do we get a second chance at life???

[Zoe 6]

Nancy, my heart's still racing after reading your story. Congratulations for taking control of your body and your life.

[Tigger 0]

Wow! My first moment was when I was watching the video of our vacation and I saw myself, but didn't know it was me! I was soooo embarrassed! All I kept thinking was, am I really that fat? I just wanted my husband to turn it off!

My second moment was in May of this year, when my wonderful dad passed away at only 58! He had a massive heart attack and boom, was gone in a split second. My dad had graduated with his second Masters Degree the night before. I knew I had to do something to be around for my kids! My dad was not overweight but if it could happen to him, someone we thought to be healthy, it could sure happen to me! My kids are still young, 7 and 4- I want to be here for my kids, to see them grow up into fine young men and God willing, see their kids!

This is a great topic, we all have that "moment" and I thank God, for giving me an opportunity to be healthier, feel and look better!

[whippledaddy 5]

How often do we get a second chance at life???

Nancy, your tale, told so well, like a mini novel, reminds me of a story I once heard:

This man was driving his luxury car down a gravel road, it was a backwoods area and there wasn't a house or even a mailbox in sight. The road was narrow, highly crowned, with a deep ditch on either side. But this wasn't stopping him from speeding, no. You see he was an important man, with important things to do. He was on a schedule.

As he sped down the road he heard a loud noise, and felt his car shake just a bit. He hit the scrunchers and came to a fast halt. He had opened his door and stepped out of the car even before the dust had cleared. He immediately noticed the dent in his driver's side door.

Looking back he sees a large rock laying in the road. He's sure this is what caused the dent but who threw it? There was no one in sight. Then he heard a voice, coming from the ditch back down the road.

He walked back and looked down in the ditch. There he saw a young boy standing over another boy, the second boy's limbs didn't look right, so the man guessed that the overturned wheelchair was for the prone lad.

The standing boy looked up, there were tears in his eyes. "My name's Billy. I'll pay for your door. I take my brother for walks every day, but the road is kind of rounded, and the gravel can get slippery when there are lots of stones. I couldn't stop him from rolling down in this ditch. He's way to heavy for me to carry, and the wheelchair is as big as I am.

I heard you coming, but you were so much in a hurry, and wrapped up in your own life, you didn't see me waving. So I had to get your attention, so I threw the rock. I knew you'd stop, 'cause you'd be mad that something hurt your fancy car. I hoped you would be a good person, and you'd help me get my brother out of the ditch and back in his wheelchair, even though I dented your door."

Tears were in the man's eyes. The boy's story had hit home. He was a minister, and his sermon last Sunday had been that sometimes God has to send us a little wake up call, for our own good. The preacher was crying because it took the wisdom of a child to teach him the lesson of his own sermon. He helped the boy get his brother out of the ditch, into the wheelchair and back to his home.

Sorry to hear about your mini stroke. Guess you got a rock thrown at your door to get you to stop and look around. Glad it happened because now you're gonna live. Now you will be around to share your specialness and teach through your beautiful soul.

[Neicy 0]

My moment came when my doctor told me that my cholesterol was 347 and my blood pressure was 180/100. I had been on weight watchers for several months at the time and I was sure that they had gotten my blood mixed up with someone else. I insisted that she re-run the blood test before I could accept the truth.

My father died at age 60 from complications after a stroke, and apparently I was on the same track. I realized that I had to do something drastic to gain control of my ever increasing girth.

My daughter had been banded just about a month prior, and I began to consider this for myself. I began researching and learning all that I could about the band. My insurance excluded bariatric surgery entirely, but I was determined to get this surgery even if I had to pay for everything myself. I am thankful that I found an excellent surgeon, and it was affordable to me.

Now my cholesterol is 195 and blood pressure is 145/75. I'm only half way to my weight loss goal, but I have attained a healthier state. Love my band!

[cateringqueen 0]

My moment-- I have always been a basically happy person. I got married about 8 years ago and up until that point I could always keep my weight under control. When I got married I started gaining weight, and it seemed no matter what I did I could not control my weight. In 8 years I went from 140 lbs to 225. I was so misreble. My whole personality had changed. I was not myself at all. My family noticed it, but my husband who does not have a weight problem was always supportive of me. Well my whole life I wanted to have children and be a mother but I could never get pregnant. I don,t know if this was related to my weight my mental state or what. Then 21/2 years ago God blessed us with the most amazing miracle. We traveled almost 8000 miles to the country of Ukraine. In an orphange in a small town near the border of Romania a nurse brought a tiny baby to me and placed her in my arms. I suddenly realized why I had never become pregnant, Iwas suppose to be the mother of this child. this was the child that God had chosen for me to love and care for and to raise. At that moment I knew what my reason to live for was. Analisa Viktorya is now 3 years old and truly the Joy of our lives. My mother calls her the bonus she never expected.

When I reflected back on what a wonderful gift I have been given my moment came. I have to stay healthy to raise Analisa. I was baned the week after I found out about the band. Self paid and worth evey penny. In 3 months I am down 32lbs. (194 today) I feel like a new person, I have my life back an amazing daughter a wonderful husband. I feel so blessed, and I want to thank all of you on this board for the continued support and fellowship